otamot

Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato.

Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar

CREATEUR ALLEY

Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing

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Sunday, May 25, 2008
bye bye

for once i will try to ignore the fact that it's a sunday night, again.

okay i failed.

i think there will come a day when i wont dread the end of a weekend. but then again it's not so much about having something to wake up for the next day. even if i have the day off, the fact is everybody will be away from home, out there accomplishing their occupational tasks and hazards. when one does not have the excuse for company, even if it's a weekday, and especially when it's a weekday, it's still a day that one might dread the night before.

then again sometimes things turn out better than expected. sometimes i wonder if i truly thrive in company. yesterday could have been a good example of how i was probably better off alone. in fact, looking around at all the happier couples and groups of friends, or even families, i found myself at the losing end, gripping on to whatever was left of my rope. i refused to believe that something was wrong with me but after much careful consideration i guess everything's about perspective. perhaps i was too shortsighted in that respect to acknowledge that i was finally externalizing all that negativity ive been harboring all this while.

but oh im a proud person with possibly everything to lose. and everything, as we know it, is subjective.

despite that i can still see clearly where i was coming from, and it's strange because i didnt think it would bother me so much but it certainly has seeing as how im spurred to go on about this for this long. in time to come i will forget this, it will be all behind me, gone with the wind, but for now the air's not moving and my only hope of getting over this is to launch into an emotional tirade of sorts, a vocabular diarrhoea that would purge the poison from the pipes.

ok i feel much better now.

nash said that i was schizophrenic, and while it's tempting to embrace that element of danger in one's identity, i also feel it borders on a lack of sincerity. i don't think it's fair to claim that im mentally disturbed, neither is it legal for me to profess my love for a vampire.

thankful(ly) for me, maybe, i just found kelly clarkson's my december much too depressing, even for a sunday night. i ejected the cd from the drive and in doing so, also avoided a slew of unnecessary emotional self-indulgence. sometimes, to know that one is less depressed than one once perceived is enough reason to be happier than one would have been if one were not depressed at all to begin with. but then again i think too much.

on a much more positive note,

TODAY I GOT MY SPEED RACER SHOES :] felt really good and i cant wait to wear them and ride the mach 5 out and about yo!

and thanks to this video STEF AND I are now FAMOUS :]

i have also signed up for driving, FINALLY, so it looks like i should be able to drive by this time next year, with much luck and enough determination.

i really think all this started from speed racer. where would i be without it! probably still waddling in my quagmire of inertia and uninspired trappings.

and i have rediscovered the joy of listening to mariah carey in her latest offering, bye bye. i think somehow this song really speaks to me, because in a lot of ways i have been preparing myself for something which we all fear: loss. just had another dream the other day, and this time the coffin was really hard to ignore. but i shall leave it at that. sometimes it isn't good to listen to the BFG.

for better or for worse, i have been evicted from my bunk, so this might mean more weekday nights at home for me. we shall see. somehow knowing that i'll be back home at the end of the day really helps. which makes me realize how much i took it for granted during my schooldays.

writing an article is harder than i thought. i think i might need to spend more time mapping out them ideas. a pulse of creative energy is coursing through my veins at the moment. i am very tempted to install photoshop once more. or grab that sketchbook and start a little portfolio, in the name of posterity.

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
Bye bye

7:18 AM