Mot, Myself and Me Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato. Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar
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from exit to exit CREATEUR ALLEY Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing Yesterdays January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009
Monday, July 18, 2005
this is the day the day Malcolm&Marshall died Seville i cant even sleep Seville Eminem is retiring man mot. my semi-charmed life. says: what? mot. my semi-charmed life. says: HE IS?!?!?! mot. my semi-charmed life. says: yayyyy' Seville dont man mot. my semi-charmed life. says: how come mot. my semi-charmed life. says: since when Seville his last concert will be in september mot. my semi-charmed life. says: really> mot. my semi-charmed life. says: how do u know mot. my semi-charmed life. says: hahaha mot. my semi-charmed life. says: omg quite sad mot. my semi-charmed life. says: he's so young still mot. my semi-charmed life. says: why Seville there was a press release mot. my semi-charmed life. says: is he for real mot. my semi-charmed life. says: how come mot. my semi-charmed life. says: hahaha Seville becuase Marshall believes that Eminem has said all there is to say mot. my semi-charmed life. says: marshall? Seville Marshall Mather=Eminems real name Seville i'm damn sad mot. my semi-charmed life. says: oh WOW Seville 6 years of idolization man mot. my semi-charmed life. says: i didnt even bother to ask about his real name mot. my semi-charmed life. says: marshall mather mot. my semi-charmed life. says: wowww Seville and you know the worst part Seville it hasnt quite hit me yet mot. my semi-charmed life. says: like its surreal? mot. my semi-charmed life. says: u cant believe it? mot. my semi-charmed life. says: man mot. my semi-charmed life. says: i know how u feel mot. my semi-charmed life. says: it happened when S Club had to end mot. my semi-charmed life. says: when Spice Girls faded mot. my semi-charmed life. says: oh well. he cant last forever mot. my semi-charmed life. says: at least he leaves with a good image of himself Seville argh... i always thought one more album mot. my semi-charmed life. says: sighhh mot. my semi-charmed life. says: sighhh mot. my semi-charmed life. says: he might comeback mot. my semi-charmed life. says: i know he will Seville well he will continue with D12 Seville he is ending his solo career Seville but he will not go by the name Eminem Seville i am reflecting now Seville all the hard times that i've been through Seville all made easy by his lyrics mot. my semi-charmed life. says: oh no mot. my semi-charmed life. says: yeah music has that effect on pple mot. my semi-charmed life. says: i will be very sad one day mot. my semi-charmed life. says: when all my favs retire cuz they meant so much to me mot. my semi-charmed life. says: well michelle branch has sorta given up her solo career mot. my semi-charmed life. says: she helped me thru so much mot. my semi-charmed life. says: sighh Seville have ya heard You're Beautiful by James Blunt? mot. my semi-charmed life. says: yep Seville nice song i guess mot. my semi-charmed life. says: haha yepp Seville and Malcolm died today Seville say a prayer before you sleep mot. my semi-charmed life. says: omg is that why u changed ur name! mot. my semi-charmed life. says: thats so sad mot. my semi-charmed life. says: so what is Seville? Seville my new nick mot. my semi-charmed life. says: whatsit mean? Seville nothing Seville just sounds kinda cool Seville dont you agree? mot. my semi-charmed life. says: sounds weird, esp after Malcolm Seville anyways am off to watch Friends mot. my semi-charmed life. says: k mot. my semi-charmed life. says: bye mot. my semi-charmed life. says: take it easy mot. my semi-charmed life. says: time will heal mot. my semi-charmed life. says: his music lives Seville yes was the day Harvard was spoilt for me deja vu of a dilemma: to go or not to go?
8:24 AM
Saturday, July 16, 2005
semi-charmed life lalala. things have been pretty crazy because another week has passed by this time with me noticing it passing by. like i counted each day and compared it with the previous week's and its just crazy how different things can be or how the days just go by without doing much, but with time moving just as fast, or slow, if you must. and now here i am on the brink of extinction due to homework and lots of other stuff to handle and settle both physically and mentally that i am really desensitized. let's see: havent started an inch on PW since GPP and havent touched Econs and stuck at Q4 of Math Tutorial 9 and still ranked no.2 after yucky VJC on moblog and havent entered data for house members and havent finalized banner design and havent lots of shit. right now its just the homework that's gonna kill me. but i did find time to relax. good charlotte was simply the bomb in town and i just took that night off to jump and scream and sing and yell and cheer and do all i could to take my mind off stuff. pretty apt that i went with my cousins too, cuz at least that meant i was thinking family wise which excluded any heavy responsibilities, work etc. i splurged on a red GC shirt for god knows whatever reason but i did it, under impulse i must say, but well aware that i might get a chance to wear it during house functions. cant wait to show off. haha. but that aside it was a chill off night. really fun and as i stood in the middle of a thousand over strong crowd, i just had this moment when i was staring up at the neon purple and green lights and with the speakers booming the anthem or lifestyles of the rich and the famous or we believe (love this song crazy) or i just wanna live (love this song crazier), yeah there was that epiphany of a moment- like i felt i belonged just right there, in midst of good strong loud invigorating music and simply letting go and having fun. taking photos takes away ur sense of true appreciation. of course if u get good photos its a bonus but going hands free, with them hands in the air and clapping and throwing that international love hand signal, man of the hour! nothing can match that feeling. either i must be in front of a crowd or with the crowd i dont know. i just want a crowd. but say im in a lift or in a toilet or at home, sometimes i just wanna be alone. be left alone to sing or to laze or to look at myself in the mirror or to dance silly or to just enjoy being alone. so yeah, i dont know what i really want. i guess i just wanna have fun, while i still can. hmm so we are getting older each day. i dont wanna grow old. but i figure the song i wanna grow old with u means so much. see if u have that significant other to spend the rest of ur life with, i guess no matter how short, u wld just be content and happy and there will be a fairytale ending, until the day one dies before the other that is. thing is why do pple get divorced? quarrelling is fine. it makes u grow stronger. hmm so finding that someone is very important to start with. hear me? haha. ballet under the stars was also relaxing. after an uneventful afternoon of handball and putting up posters which got blown down by the storm, how nice the feeling to sit under the dark cloudy sky (with no stars!) and the moon to appreciate the beautiful tale of the little mermaid unfold before ur very eyes- ballet style. cool right? was mostly a kiddy thing. but i mean even mr reeves liked such stuff. i guess its more of the atmosphere. if it wasnt for that, i wld what, be in front of the com, like now? feel guilty you reader. sitting in front of the com, absorbing all the radiation full blow. bleah anw on a random note, shirin lisa and i did morning announcement for moblog, but apparently it didnt work much and nat questions the existence of a rafflesian spirit. other than the personified one of course. hmmm. i wonder. i guess. but its a warped one. certainly. ok stop now or im getting into trouble. on another random note i think nkf patients are the real victims. so stop being babies and keep the money rolling in! those pple on top! its because of pple like u that pple in africa are still starving each night and dying of curable diseases. dying because of YOU. yes you! see this finger pointing at you. all our fingers pointing at you. go away the evil in you. the greed. the insatiable root of all evil. go away! and just look at the really unfortunate and for god's sake think and FEEL. i dunno it just seems so fortunate that i have this extremely large capacity for sympathy and conscience but at the same time it is damn saddening cuz i see all these happening and just see no real motivation to do all that at the expense of others. eat your golden tap and choke on it. i mean what kind of face do you have anyway? SPH wins! power. pity i have lost some respect for the woman in "tan suit and leopard print shirt". so today today was tiring cuz i woke up and cut out the cute coupon and took 7 down to cine, reaching arnd 930am. met jonk and jared there and we started queuing. *lots of censored details* in the end we had ccc, alan, jonk, jared and me watching fantastic four at 1.30pm, hence missing the AC-RJ debates (sorry junyi!). but yeah they won anw so hurray! the show really excited me. finally got a chance to watch it. may i say here that incredibles was the one that copied fantastic four. and i love them both but this season, fantastic four gets the props. true to the comic spirit and creation of stan lee the genius. all the actors were great. favourite funny moments were the underwear one, the you're hot and so are you one, the i kissed your nose one etc. mostly witty quips from johnny storm. suze storm made me take her for a joke when she decided to pose when getting blasted by the cosmic cloud. haha but it was fun anw. they are in fact fantastic. ok what am i saying. it's just good so go watch it. cld be better, but it's good already. i just didnt like that debbie left ben just like that. how unromantic. the invisible kiss was classic comic cheeze but loved it. i think im in love! with love! ok want to watch sin city! but i cant! realized that jessica alba will be appearing everywhere. look out for into the blue come year end. its crazy how popular one can be. i guess that's the beauty of stardom. youre hot, youre popular. but she can act too lah. i liked it when she cried and nosebled during the final battle. really tugged at my heart. other parts about reeds always having to reach for the stars and ben willing to give everything to be invisible were priceless. really unsubtle but yet subtle as well. maybe u cld just feel it. good acting. ahhhh. have i mentioned fire is cool? moor tarbet is hot. are you?
8:29 AM
Saturday, July 09, 2005
i turn to the rainbow past the point of no return... flash: zhengyi sitting on chai's bed telling jonk and i about his favourite song. think new year's eve. 31 dec as chai's computer was switching between the phantom soundtrack and the yearend music countdown. my heart feels so soft. like jelly like my stomach. i need that embrace to make me feel like i havent really lost all that has passed me by. i really miss a lot of those times. those times that we just took for granted. slipping away. flying away. gone.with.the.wind. silence. silence... i remember we didnt really do much back then. just played mock table tennis on a makeshift table and how alan looked at brenice sleeping and how we watched snippets of what legally blonde and how i got to take the train to orchard with them after escaping family dinner and how i convinced jonk to come with us on the train. that was probably the first time he said he was claustrophobic. now its his usual excuse. and then they watched phantom again. i got fetched by my uncle to join the rest of my family in counting down. its not fair. i can rmbr so much but nothing can be retrieved. and just a song can bring back so much. it just signifies and spells out the moment. christine...now im thinking around october when christine found my blog and how later when phantom came out she went to watch it and now how we're in the same class and its just surreal. like how its back to classmates after so many years. hmmm. couple of weeks ago i heard unwritten on radio again. that was the first song i wrote down on my notebook. the first thing. on my new notebook at the start of the 2005 school year, in the night, tired from orientation, pretty sure and happy about my og. how it was the start of a new day. the dawn of a new beginning like how that song means: the rest is still unwritten. the feel of jc being so different. so fun. so diverse. so fresh. so...different. now look at where we are. somewhat jaded by school but still loving it, except in a different way. i have abandoned my og. dehui came up to talk to me the other day i was very surprised but somewhat pleased. he also gave up on the kcove but yeah. there was nothing much to be said. it shows. and now im thinking im just so glad how the class has turned out. faction initiation was a nightmare cuz we didnt know our class. but now we do and those first impressions almost dont count for anything anymore. haha first impressions that dont matter. first impressions are usually wrong impressions so why do we still bother with them? shakira's songs will bring back memories of sec 2. underneath your clothes was a scandalous dedication piece in the canteen. whenever wherever was like a theme song. tide is high brings back the pole dance glory. ode to my family is the interclassDI theme. norah jones' dont know why invokes aruna and cheryl. stefanie sun' stefanie brings back december 2004 blues and the christmas feeling. the blue christmas feeling. stefanie's tonight i feel close to you and when you believe brings nash to mind. brings singing to mind. and then im listening to avril and michelle branch and they just bring so much comfort because i can crawl inside their songs and know i will be safe if i just linger a little bit more. you know. just stay there and not change one bit. stay like that. stay this way. please say you'll stay, forever this way. yeah nice song. jewel. jewel brings me back to prischool days, when i will sleep to it as my sister listens as she studies. but jewel also brings df04 to mind. standing still. standing still and love psychedelico somehow go together, and i remember my dad sending me to gwc with those two songs playing on radio. and speaking of radio if it wasnt for it i wld never have liked ashlee simpson. or maybe i wld neverhave been such a great fan. so really cant u see how much music makes up our lives. or my life at least. each song has its feel documented, not to say it will never change, but it does retain that feel no matter what because it is powerful and you remember. there is a tune to follow. to guide your heart. but we just keep moving on and on and on. we change so easily. we are fickle beings. we flicker too. and one day we will be gone. that day on DH bree said whatever time they have left together, they shld be nice to each other. and yeah i was thinking how true for everyone. how can we even bother to quarrel and all that when what we have is less than a century. maybe lesser. and lesser. and one day we wont even have time to say goodbye to those we want to say goodbye to. and i have already lost the chance to say goodbye to some. i may never meet them again. and yet i was being so bad and saying mean stuff. and its just a huge regret, not being the best and nice and just doing what's right. i lost the chance to. i had it but i didnt use it. so now its really a matter of setting things straight. in 10 years time look at how many pple will be married. in 20 years time your friends will have kids. in 2 years time we go to different places, countries maybe, and we will lose touch with some, for sure. and its only a matter of time where u lose touch with those whom u thought u wld be with forever. but u were wrong. u were so wrong because we dont really control such stuff. everyone boils down to an individual within him. and he has his own life to lead. and we cannot be following others and thinking too much about the past because we are puppets of time. passengers. just like one another. one day we vanish. we evaporate. and all that is left will be ashes. how the mighty will fall and the tiny consume our flesh six feet under. or the flames at last consume us. lick at us. lick at our soul, if there ever was one. and we fade away into oblivion. into nothingness. think. if u had no religion that's the reality you deal with. religion was just created so that pple wont have to search endlessly for answers. right? so that when u cant explain something u just turn to faith for comfort. to try to believe so eventually u bluff urself into thinking u really believe, but not because u do, but because u need to if not u will just crumble inside and cry. the previous niptuck episode elucidated that. that at the end of the day we often turn to religion only when we need it. if there was no consequence what for believe?we do not know for sure. and without it we would just crumble. we would. crumble. and fall to pieces. many pieces. hopes shattered and minds tortured by the prospect of being nothing all over again. of non existence. oh if u have to believe something, now believe that. oreintation batch dance plays. guess what? i heard council already has pple planning for orientation next year! so what? we are going to become yesterday all over again. we are! just like sec 4. fading into exams cuz that will be all that matters. why are we even doing all of this. think! dont just think of life and future and job and money and survival. think about why u even exist! they played the whole freestyler song on radio the other day. i liked that so much more. it detatched a little from the real memory u see. ok so life. let's talk about life. my ct results havent been good. but im ok with it cuz i know i will improve. because i have to. see such little things keep us occupied. like pw, like econs, like house stuff. speaking of which if nobody likes the mt shirt design its fine cuz its my fault. haha but yeah let's hope its not too plain lah. seriously all blame shld be put on the inflexible tshirt manufacturer. so lots of things coming up. suddenly all ccas want to meet at the same time. when they have been slack and dormant for so long. ok so there will be rp and ra. and art club has been meeting of course. art exhibition soon. thats cool. house is coming along too. fun stuff to loook out for. hmm im happier now cuz like my mind is distracted by such stuff. i didnt go for art the other day cuz of neil gaiman! it was worth it. the wait was worth it! i got to shake mr. gaiman's hand thank you! photos as proof too! haha. yayy such things keep me going. neil gaiman is truly a genius. believe that! i think about some blogs that i visit but do not read. cuz i cant be bothered with the long entries cuz im simply not interested in that person's life. and yeah im thinking i dont do that to close frens but im sure they do that to me. which makes me feel damn insulted cuz that means they arent interested in my life. which im sure at least one person feels that way. but then again i dont need it. so go away. im thinking of the words of cherishing whatever time we have left with each other. so im going to be nice. on a happier note ms kelly gave birth to baby elise on july3 at 318am! congratulations to her and her husband! that's really really happy news. so happy for her. each minute as we are preoccupied with something. something big happens in somebody else's life elsewhere. like they die, or give birth, or score well, or strike rich, or fall sick, or be diagnosed with cancer, or find a gold coin because they have nothing else, not even clothes. yeah or if u read on the papers, someone gets kidnapped or raped, or gets chopped into pieces. pieces. so yeah face it we are not alone but we are alone in our own lives. nobody else can live it for you. so we are indeed, alone. sometimes pple do stuff that really touch you. i am thankful to hanee and liyana and xtine for their birthday presents! u guys didnt have to remember but u did! so thanks! even tho i know some ofmy frens didnt forget, they havent given it to me yet which leaves me slightly piqued because i dunno, it seems as if i dont matter that much. perfect ive brought the happy tone down again. examine my tone and note its fluctuations. read my lips. follow my tongue. lead my rips. i would really like to think im special. that because i understand myself most i must know smthing more that others dont. but i cant even draw a graph without making a mistake. without erasing. i am not perfect! stunning revelation to the ego! stubborn ego. my grown up christmas list. im thinking that pple shldnt try to break into other pples lives esp if u dont know that person but just think he's/she's cool or nice. it is wrong. u shld know ur limits and be happy with yourself. u dont need anybody else u can be yourself. be yourself is all that you can do! i figure im really inexperienced in the designing industry so up against pple like jason and philip my designs really look amateur. but i swear im gonna practise real hard. and do my best to you know at least earn a niche. something i need something. now if you are a stranger and u read thus far, shame on you. you dont know me but u want to know me. but if u are a fren and u skipped to this, shame on you too. my life is more interesting than the parts you choose to read. in fact, my life isnt my blog. it is different. jerk it out. ~ i turn to the rainbow i turn to the rainbow when i need to see colours but the rainbow only comes after the rain and i dont like the rain. i need the asthma spray i need the chocolate and cherry pie because i am impatient or because i really need them i dont know. i turn to you because i want you but maybe because i had no other choice i wish you could hear my voice. the rain brings nothing but pain and shackles and chain the blood leaves a stain are we humane? your rainbow cancels out the pure blue but i still see blue. dont explain that. see it. feel it. the vapour sprays onto me. and i dont need my asthma spray anymore. no little kid deserves to be disadvantaged because of that. a breathing problem. he should be given whatever he wants. a chocolate bar. a cherry pie. sweet things. happy things. because he only has so little time before he wants bigger things. like a car. or wine. or alternative pleasures. so capture that innocence in a bottle. show them how to spring their hopes and plant them like little flowers. hear their voice. feel their pain. it is common. as one. for you know it. you understand if you try. make them laugh, not cry. i tell you what. give them a paper and some crayons. let them do some colouring. every likes to colour. i mean, liked. so let them colour, and they will colour their own house, own tree, own rainbow- a life is mapped out. let them colour their lives, but dont you dare turn away. clean up the stains, your stains, and be there, when they turn to you. ~ please vote for RJC moblog via SMS, simply type: Vote NIBC 135813 and send it to 96183799
12:18 PM
Sunday, July 03, 2005
the day you slipped awayyy wimbledon has been a treat to watch and although i was really behind roddick, he didnt deserve to win. as for venus!!!! she just rocks da socks! with that said its been a really gruelling past week with common tests being the only sole purpose for living. i was breathing and sleeping and dreaming it. eating the notes and pulling my hair out. and for what? a test that probably wldnt even matter at all. except maybe in the report book and when it comes to remedials and all. thing is i was really doing it for the teachers. they've been the best but i really let them down by starting one week before. what the hell was i thinking! i will never ever never ever ever ever do that again! i will be very consistent and really really practise and study hard!!!! i will not mug i will study! i cant afford that stress that anxiety attack before history paper was a killer. so napoleon came out i had time to laugh at myself. and while doing math i was singing to myself. singing all those random tunes heard on power98. my only consistent companion. i think but it has forsaken me too because their sms system totally ignores me and as for calling thru im either caller no2 or caller no5 but not no9 or no4. so arghhhh. im gonna hafta pay for fantastic four. that's bothersome! i dont think i ever took it real seriously? i was actually the calmest for math paper. somehow in the afternoon it gave me more time to recuperate. friday was just a walkover cuz whatever happened, the movie and celebration was waiting for us. playing badminton after that was a great outlet for all that pent up stress too. i really really really needed that. so damn tired. woke up the next day feeling like what, shit cuz my whole body was aching then i embarked on the longest car ride i ever had in singapore alone cuz of the rocking chair, the ezlink card and the photos. and what else i cant rmbr anw i came home and watched ashlee and then live8. which lasted way till 7am. yes i stayed up the whole duration. of course in between i switched to venus and davenport but yeah i still got my name down on live8 so thats cool and erm yeah venus won so thats cool too. then today i woke up and it was tv again at 12 sharp cuz charmed was last episode. really really good. then i didnt do much. oh i slept again. till 5. woke up ate lunch and watched onetreehill and then watched AI and then watched federer roddick and now im here. doing what. blogging. like wth my whole life is decadent once again. i cant even blog abt meaningful clever stuff im just writing abt my stupid life cuz im stupid and i cant do anything smarter than this and yes im screwed for commons too cuz stupid pple cant do commons. screwed screwed screwed. i hate it when he puts up lyrics after every entry and like spells lyke dat. lyke wat da shit! go and bugger off stop being so pretentious why is this getting to me after so long i just cant take it anymore u just go strangle yourself ok? do it! and then another one, blogging abt stupid stuff too cuz ure being too lazy lazy lazy and uninspired! sapping all my positive energy away. look at me now im a wreck! and reminds me of the photolady who took the ugliest picture of me ever. im gonna kill myself. and then yeah an affectioned ass. a scheming power hungry one. all shitfaces! screw offfffff. and stupid hopeful ones whom ive been so kind to and tolerant off. you all disgust me! u know that? im going to regret this. but maybe not cuz i really mean it. just that i may have been like that to someothers and so im like yuck disgusted i cldve been at that kind of level. despicable. revolting. go away. misundestood pple. so sad. so pitiful. awwwww. crush them like ants! but dont hurt the ants they say! then i wont! but crush them we must. crush crush crush. they are overtaking u. u cant let them u musnt if not they will crawl all over you and u will be viewed with that contempt look that YOU have in store for THEM because YOU were meant to be bigger and better than THEM. wake up! lost inside lost inside... so much shit to do im gonna be judged for what i say here u know, when pple start coming here. thinking what i write is for them when theyre wrong cuz i dont do anything for anyone i do it for myself and only myself because i only like myself dammit. im so stressed still because i cant rest. i cannot. if i die now i will haunt so many pple. i havent had my playtime. im coming im at your doorstep im gonna getcha.... haha. hahahaha.
9:05 AM
Friday, July 01, 2005
over it's over! phew! stuff to do @fter :common tests: (in no particular order) 1) art club exhibition 2) dfalumni thingy 3) blog templates gotta change 4) dld photoshop trial/get from junyi - design class sweater - design mt shirt - finalize/perfect all mt designs 5) urban infest? 6) watch just shoot me s2 on dvd! 7) allen&josias +other outings 8) zen micro song updates + boost cd collection 9) play mf with kenny 10) filing! 11) NHB membership? 12) Mural painting CIP? 13) upload bday photos +collect fd photos! 14) publicity for rjc moblog etc. 15) good charlotte concert 12 july! 16) read whole stack of the economists 17) see doctor asap? 18) swim swim swim 19) update computer anti-virus 20) neil gaiman autograph session!!! 21) harrypotter july 16!!! :miscellaneous: owe xtine $5.30 owe ying $4 zee owes stapler ccc owes bag, poncho, yrbook, tapes
6:05 AM
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