Mot, Myself and Me Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato. Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar
Talk
from exit to exit CREATEUR ALLEY Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing Yesterdays January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009
Sunday, November 27, 2005
525600 one weekend has been exhausted! but in a good way i suppose. friday's army visit was fun but tiring. again, i dont know how much i can say so i just wont say more! but it has truly been a great time! dozed off a few times but man the stuff that we did :] anw silly me went back home and still didnt know how to sleep early, so i woke up for banner painting the next morning feeling like a zombie. plus it didnt help that the mosquito foggers decided to fog us in school. set my more-than-sensitive nose off right away into sniffles. this was on top of the stench of paint which by that time had alrdy clung on to me and my clothes. but it was all worth it. sitting/squatting there painting, it reminded me how much i love doing it. mixing the colours, seeing the chalked banner come to life- your vision in your own hands. i guess that's what i like abt art. all that empty space to fill, and only i (and in this case all of us) have the power to control the materialization of smthing that's potentially magical. that sense of pride after putting it up i tell you. and this has by and far been a real team effort. banner comm really rocks cuz all of them are so dedicated and motivated and creative in their own way. im truly honoured. cant wait to share our hardwork with everyone else. of course ive been rather m.i.a recently, given my attachment and all. but its really turning out sweeter than i imagined. and that has to be good! well it began to rain and it was time for me to meet the roadrunners! i trained down to novena and met khin&js, and we then proceeded to united square to takeaway lunch. i decided to get excellent value for money and went to subway, where the guy at the counter provided me with flawless service i must say! being as suaku as i was he was extremely helpful. i gave khin&js my snapple. ive been really careful nowadays, avoiding anything cold in fear of repurcussions. no choice i guess. so anw the sandwich was yummy and so were the cookies, which i ate on shibani's bed. js got special treatment frm shib's mom haha- her fav actor you see! and marshmallow was so kewt! he was warm and fuzzy and white and adorable and friendly all at once. like a nice sasha soft toy, except alive. haha ok jking- no he was really the first dog i cld play so easily with and truly feel no fear at all. liyana was already there, first one to arrive. we were soon joined by cc and the rp props he lugged along, much thanks to his dad. we sorta bummed arnd a bit, then went down to play badminton for a few minutes, beside the gutter i might add, haha, before proceeding to farrer courts for tennis! i figured i managed some form of improvement, but it kinda sucked i didnt put my badminton skills to good use. argh nvm. it was all in good fun! even when we all weren't that proficient, with 5 yr old kids undergoing training better than us, i think all that mattered was that we had good fun! so there! cc and i still have unfinished business on the courts btw! haha, and i think i kinda became a tad too competitive. that happens when im excited. anw the booking for one hour didnt last long and soon enough this family of four came to take our court so we had to vacate the premises (nice phrase, very official sounding, dont u think?) the walk back to lion towers seemed shorter, and i didnt really enjoy it for some reason. but oh well. marshmallow was there to cheer me up! i was half considering to kidnap it really. haha no, kidding. we (as in us, not the dog) ended up playing taboo, joined subsequently by gavin, sarah&sean. we tried playing trivial pursuit, genius version, or rather, just had a go at some of the questions. crazy! i felt so unlearned haha. like i didnt even know who bram stoker was! wheee but we had fun we did. dinner was pizza while watching sex&thecity (of course after gavin made us watch a 12 min feature of SHM's The Old Man & The River.) frankly it was quite disappointing for me. very different humour, not smthing i wld go back to quite willingly. very sexual a show, maybe too much, but it was kinda funny at parts, esp kimcatrall- thumbs up for that effortless orgasmic face! sean left soon after, but we continued with slap her she's french! it was hilarious overall, but most of it i was distracted by marshmallow barking at gavin, whom he didnt really like, we hypothesized, becuz of his rainbow shirt. during kill bill later, we took turns to bathe. naughty marshmallow found his wet nose onto liyana's leg! poor girl! as midnight approached sarah's bday was over! she spent that cross over moment watching violent scenes frm the house of blue leaves. haha talk abt coming of age. it was kinda a pity we didnt celebrate the bday with a cake or smthing. we cldve made it a roadrunners tradition u know! but i guess it was difficult to plan and all. i gave sarah this rock self-painted (rather crudely but nonetheless equally meaningful i wld like to think) with a smiley face, to remind her to be happy. i think everybody needs a rock like that sometime, just to remind us that things will be okay as long as we know how to smile. wiggle your big toe. will yourself to smile! we took a nice breezy midnight walk to newton food centre after cc showed us 15 mins of the piano. i must say i wanna watch that 'boring' movie one day. [draft saved here. im continuing after 2 days] anw it was real cool walking around in the middle of the night, just absorbing the darkness and the streelights by an empty road reminded us of roadrunners photoshoot. anw when we arrived there the few of us who were there on wed could recognize the same 'terrorist-like' tissue seller sitting down smoking and drinking beer. smthing abt him gives me the creeps he's just so mysterious you dont wanna find out. some of them ate the usual stingray and seafood but i settled for carrot cake. cc was relegated to buying a $1.50 waffle from the petrol station opposite. he got swindled, of course, totally not worth it, haha- the price you pay for not eating beautiful meat. after that they went to buy booze back frm 7-11. i only sipped a weebit and somehow we found ourselves playing games like shoot/shag/marry & i'venever in the dark. i think that made it one of the most intimate sleepovers ever. not like ive had many. in fact for pple like liyana it was her first! but we had so much fun did we! i just wish i didnt fall sick, which i sorta did. everyone had to sleep w/o the aircon becuz of me. haha but really i think its damn extravagant and unhealthy and silly to sleep with aircon thruout the night. im just not a cold person i guess. the late night ended and somehow marshmallow found his way into the room in the morning. haha that smart dog! we found out later he can open doors with his paws. kewt eh. much thanks to savita and shib's parents, we got a very very sumptuous and delicious breakfast! eggs, ham, pancakes, toast, jam, maple syrup, butter, bacon! i was feeling rather energized and wanted to play badminton, but most of them felt sore. we ended up watching kill bill vol2. liy&sarah left early though. when it was time to go i was quite sad it was over actually, though i was so tired i just wanted to go home. but i really missed it. did i mention how nice shib's house is? and her pictures of saibaba! somehow comforting cuz of my late grandma. sigh. well, that was it. i must really take this chance to thank all of them roadunners! i guess the official journey ended there huh. a pity nick wasnt there! special thanks to shib and her wonderful parents who were so nice to us! it was one heck of an experience. i went back home really sick and moody. ate lunch at 4 and slept till 10 plus. felt idiotic for wasting one whole day like that. grrr. sleepovers do that to you you know. makes you so irritable and all. but maybe its just me. monday was exceptionally good fun! thank god im not allowed to reveal too much abt it but we bascially had great fun at changi naval base! great pple, good food, cool goodies! its not such a bad idea to travel around the world on water huh? meet lots of pple and all? talking with some seniors over there certainly helped. and im more excited abt my future now, instead of plainly fearing it, i think im starting to work towards it and embrace it. oh yeah check this out! http://www.mindef.gov.sg/imindef/publications/cyberpioneer/news/2005/November/25nov05_news2.html anw yesterday i was watching Rent, which was fantastic btw, loved the leads esp. mimi & roger, and joanne & maureen were tops too, vocally flawless; and it suddenly struck me so hard that i really wanna do that too! like stand up on stage, and act and sing at the same time! the performers really blew me away more than the storyline itself. the songs were just so groovy and modern it was hardly boring as some musicals can get at times. my favourites were seasons of love (of course), most of roger's songs, esp when he sang light my candle with mimi, and the song in third person, what you own btwn him and mark was two thumbs up! on the whole, very entertaining and just so thrilling to watch. everything was colourful and energetic and new york funky. karen mok never looked more sexyy i tell you-cant believe i actually got to see her live!!! whee! so much for being some hongkee female assassin in So Close, this just goes to prove how versatile and talented she is :]] i really hope i get the chance to do that one day! haha but i'll have to dream a bit longer i think. it wld be such a privilege to perform on broadway! just found out we're gonna catch a broadway musical, the producers, in US! really excited! we got balcony seats but im gonna bring my binoculars! imagine that! broadway you know! once in a lifetime kinda thing! the briefing earlier that day psyched us up a hell lot for the trip i think. as i saw planes take off frm atop a ship at changi on monday, i cldnt wait for it to be our turn! next tuesday! start packing boy! banner is coming along great and i must say i feel real bad for being so m.i.a. i sat in for dinner at marche with ced, ziing, stef, pui on monday. it was very homely just sitting there talking abt stuff ya know. i felt so at home. im glad im at least wanted in places. haha. ok what am i talking abt. anw i guess the sense of belonging is building lah, in school and all. it cant stop growing, smtimes it gets broken, but for now, it's fixed! anw the orchard xmas decor i tell you! just shouting out for one big celebration! i really hope i get to do smthing fun and memorable for xmas this year! class party sounds fun! esp with secret santa and all. haha if youre my secret santa, i think you shld refer to my xmas wishlist! let's see: (in no particular order) 1) ashlee simpson's I Am Me 2) bonnie mckee's Trouble 3) new cool school bag! 4) contacts! 5) good books! 6) nice crazy clothes/shoes! 7) a white christmas tree 8) my very own rock band 9) go iceskating (and so much more. but actually i just wanna be merry:]) and all you so called friends better get me smthing cuz im probably gonna be thinking of you in US! let it snow let it snow let it snow! today was exceptionally fun again! despite missing airforce yest, i was told i didnt miss much except for the chinook ride anw, today really saw some quality bonding btwn all of us, i daresay :] it was mostly very draggy visits i must admit, but i really appreciate the geniuses behind all that science. we spent most of our time playing those story guessing games, some of which were, frankly disturbing, but really enlightening and just good fun to play along with! brainteasers! like solving a crime and piecing all the clues together. all that talk and laughter really made up for an otherwise lacklustre day. i was in a pretty good mood. plus reuben was tolerable. haha. yayy! to top it all off, msn decided to be adorable: http://entertainment.ivillage.com/music/0,,8fqjngtb,00.html http://www.slate.com/id/2129373 lots of miscellaneous stuff to do, some to complete before flying off somemore. argh! cant believe attachment is ending so soon. i shall pay tribute to it the next time i guess. cherish the moment boy! p.s. i have finally cleared all my outstanding debts! shum & js thanks for putting up with my horrible procrastination! p.s. very excited for jonk- he got his first radio experience yest! go ask him abt it while he's still squirmy! i need my sleep! gonna try before 12 this whole week to build up immunity. let's go!
7:39 AM
Friday, November 25, 2005
everybody hurts one month to christmas. i feel horrible now actually. watched the last episode of lost and well i raised my voice and temper as usual. argh! i feel like a horrid brat! i feel like a totally ugly person inside. i try to be kindhearted and personable and nice and friendly but sometimes pple just rub me the wrong way and i blow up easily- i know that. im probably the only one in class who has shouted this whole year. and i dunno i just feel that i maintain rather unhealthy relationships with frens/family because of my temper. smthing which i have, believe me, been trying to control but somehow i find myself in a downward spiral. and once i start i cant turn back that easily until i reach the point that will guarantee me regrets. argh! you know what? that will be one of my new year resolutions. i must say i have improved since my bratty chilli padi days, really, and im proud of that. but the pple around me cannot be proud of me if i treat them like crap occasionally. i dunno. im on my way there, i hope. will not stop trying i guess. i only wish they wld understand and you know, give me time. recognize that i am doing my part. pffff alright got that off my chest. much thanks to liyana too. quite similar scenarios we face i gather. but seriously, why do our moods fluctuate so much? i think maybe we need to hurt our loved ones sometimes, or get hurt, so that we know how much we actually feel for them. but i just wish things wld be so much more peaceful. some people i know dont need that. they are just happy go lucky. i wanna be free on the inside!! but this is my own challenge and i have to face it i guess. btw its been slightly more than one year since o lvls ended. not to be taken for granted trust me. i feel so accomplished i actually conquered that! 19 nov chem paper i will always rmbr that. i felt fully liberated after that. my mom observed me day by day and she cld tell from my face if my heavy papers were over or not. ahhhh! and now im gonna have to face smthing like that soon. next year. life keeps getting back at you, keeps coming back for more. i watched a christmas carol yesterday with some of the roadrunners and jonk and zul and max! it was not bad at all! mag was in it so i had to support her naturally. it was a very aesthetically pleasing show, and knowing me, thats really important. the lead was great and funny, and so were the christmas ghosts. well, at least xmas present, with her warrior stance and deep voice. "dinG-donG". mwahaha. unfortunately i still feel sore abt paying 20bucks for it. i cldve gotten me self and nice cd with that money. or rather saved myself a whole lot for rainy days. i think as ive grown up im spending more and beginning to really see the imptance of money and saving money and all. i actually wanna work and earn money now. makes me envious of those who are getting salary now. as for my attachment, well, we dont get no money! but we get plenty of good food! haha mindef is a great ministry to be with lah. im not allowed to say too much but so far, its been an eyeopener. nice pple around too! and frankly, it has helped me shape a rough vision for my future. i think i really wanna go overseas now and i dont mind an saf scholarship. well, thats rather ambitious i know. but i know i can do it if i tried! and i dont mind the challenge of a military career (dont laugh, im serious) its fun actually. and im not afraid of ns at all. the only fear i cld possibly have is the unknown, that that isnt really much to fend off after awhile. i guess i can more or less shortlist a few career options for myself now. and that is amazing- a big step for someone like me, indecisive and all. i really wanna get a chance to do a range of things. so maybe i will like delve into psychology, and on a lighter side of things, maybe dabble in deejaying or journalism! aint that kewl. im on a roll! psle results were out yesterday. i think its rather cruel to let 12 yr old kids deal with major exams at such an early stage of their lives. i dunno lah. u know some pple actually cry. its not fair. cld turn them off studying for the rest of their lives. they might lose the motivation. hmmm as much as i like to imitate teachers, i dont think i will become a teacher next time. if i can help it that is. i think the teaching job is always a nice thing to fall back on. omg it's soo wei's last night on radio! i didnt even know! a new chapter in her life. i wonder where she's going. who's gonna replace her? ahhh she's crying! oh noooo. damn as much as she can fumble in speech sometimes, i think she has been such a friendly dj i know im gonna miss her voice. three cheers for soo! sigh. i guess a new chapter in my life is gonna start soon. the part is titled JC. but the chapter has to change. j2 life is gonna be so different. but before i flip the page, let me enjoy my christmas. i just wanna end this year with a bang you know. soak in the spirit of christmas. anw i was reading someone's blog and i personally feel we dont need to be xtian to love christmas and love during christmas. come on! for me its about having fun and getting into the festive mood. and i guess so what if some pple feel its not being totally true to xmas since xmas has smthing to do with christ and all. if i choose not to believe, but i still feel happy, dont feel sorry for me. haha i guess i find it hard to believe. sorry if ive offended anyone, but this has been my stance all along. call me unenlightened, misguided etc, im just me and all youre ever gonna get is who i am. :] i found the following exchange really though provoking. i love stuff like that. peter pan complex, alan says. who do you agree with? [a£an] says: ppl mean no harm [Soulstice] says: you got to grow up then [a£an] says: u got to stop growing too quickly
6:39 AM
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
powerless today was a cold day. literally that is. i woke up and found i cldnt wake up- that it was best staying under my blanket even though my alarm clock was busy protesting each time it got a chance to. i ended up snoozing till close to 12 and realized i was freaking late for banner. it was lousy getting out of house, into the wetness and all. ziing, yantong, puisan, nat, denise & stef were in the canteen when i reached and there on the table lay my very own box of dunkin donuts! compliments of shibani of course...thankew! basically we had a fun time sharing it and i tried a bit of every flavour. it was gone within 15 minutes. when cedric returned we emulsified the two banners. was rather fun actually, since the emulsion was water soluble anw, didnt matter that we got ourselves all white. it was really a whitewash on the cloth- absolutely skillless and easy to do. ha! wait till the hard part comes up. which is tmr actually! chalking the damn thing out! haha anw stef, puisan, cedric & myself headed to pac to paste mahjong paper on the plastic, but ended up taking photos on the plastic sheet, gallivanting at j8, taking photos in strawberry land (much to my embarassment!) heading there in the first place to look for more mahjong paper. somehow the fortune telling stuff near the popular counter drew our attention and before long we were reading up on 2006, the dog year, and how dragons will supposedly oppose the presiding god next year. 1988 dragons, we're earth dragons btw. we needa be careful when eating poultry next year. we shldnt take our driving tests next year cuz even if we pass, our cars will crash. i swear im quoting from the book. there were two books, both predicted a not so good year for us. another silly paragraph said that we shldnt try to compete for anything next year, cuz if we try, this star (yue sha i think) will deflect our attempts and "screw it up anw". and i quote yet again. amazing how these authors casually mention these in their books and not expect us to freak out. or who knows what they have up their sleeves, collaborating behind the scenes and all. anw i found myself getting all superstitious, as i inherently am. there was one more book about palm reading, and we had fun reading each others lines, trying to find out who will be married, successful, promiscuous etc. haha. there was also face reading! imagine- u need a wide protruding chin to have good health and u need a high shiny forehead to bode well for yourself. oh and it seems my sixth sense line is too fragmented for any accurate sensing. im a hoax! so much ive found out abt myself today. i wonder if this will change how i act in the future, you know. but then again, maybe i was supposed to read those stuff, act differently, so that what's meant to happen to me will happen. ahhh life is a road full of tricky lollipop flowers by the pavement. they make themselves extra colourful if we're about to walk into a pothole, so we'd stop and lick them, averting disaster. or sometimes they would plant themselves far away so that we pay less attention to the trap we eventually fall into, despite it being under our very noses. what can i say, im a philosopher. quote me! i just tried on my office wear and got my father's pants altered cuz tmr, i start my mindef attachment! i wonder if its ok to blog abt it. i think i will be very careful. cant say im excited. rather terrified actually. im such a wimp. just the other day i was so eager to study overseas. i cant handle being a fickle person. dont let me get me. i had an unexpected chat online with an old fren last nite. smthing was really comforting abt that. i guess we're all afraid of growing up too quickly huh? oh well. i dont know what i shld expect from friends, really. maybe im just being silly. haha anw alan im still disappointed u didnt mention me. and in defense, i asked him to tag, but then i wondered why i even had to ask in the first place. i think i expect too much from relationships, sometimes i just fear rejection. till i actually form any kind of relationship that's too close to handle for now, here's an interesting article! Taken from: 1=7350">http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=5384&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=7>1=7350 Suddenly Single ‘Why aren’t you married yet?’ By Kimberly Dawn Neumann Whether you’re single and loving it or desperately seeking Mr./Ms. Right, being hounded about your relationship status is annoying. And yet it seems to be a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation at festive family functions this time of year. In preparation for holiday party season, we asked everyone from social experts to comedians for the best answers to the “Why are you still single?” question. Save your ego by boosting your questioner’s “When children ask a disquieting question, adults answer the question with a question. This technique deflects the attention off of you and puts the spotlight on the questioner, and it may work for you, too. Say ‘What an interesting question. I am curious about how you made your decision to get married to fill in the name of your questioner’s partner.’ This indicates that you think getting married is a decision, showing that being single isn't about being a loser but about not having made that decision yet. And as a perk, it may provide the opportunity for an interesting conversation!” -Joni Mantell, psychotherapist and relationship coach in New York, NY and Pennington, NJ Make your point with an extreme example "Tell them, ’I look at marriage as an old-fashioned, patrician, indentured-slave practice that imprisons people in a backbreaking, emotionally bereft sinkhole.’” -Mike O’Malley, star of the CBS series Yes, Dear Bait-and-switch your response “One all-purpose answer for anything rude is to give a big smile and say, ‘Oh, you!’ They will be baffled by it, so use their confusion to change the subject by saying ‘Now, listen’ in an urgent tone and going off on something else. Just make it clear to yourself that you don't even have to acknowledge something stupid has been said, much less answer it.” -Ronna Lichtenberg, author of Pitch Like A Girl: How a Woman Can Be Herself and Still Succeed Make them wish they hadn’t asked “Try, ‘Because the doctor tells me that I get enough nagging from my mom.’ ‘Because a couple of years ago I got a great deal on a 50 pound box of condoms, and I want to get my money’s worth.’ ‘One thing at a time. Let me get the sex change first.’ ‘Have you seen me naked?’” -Brian McCann, writer for Late Night with Conan O’Brien Inspire jealousy because you’re still single “The trick is to persuade people that you're not bothered by their nosy question. Turn the undercover insult into an opportunity to impress them with responses that display your confidence, self-empowerment and sense of humor. Some ideas are ‘I’m single because I’m waiting for my perfect match, just like you did,’ ‘It takes time to separate the best from the rest,’ or ‘I’m taking my time to make sure I do it right the first time.’” -Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life and founder of www.lauriepuhn.com Shrug it off with a snappy comeback “My general feeling is that a rude question deserves a rude answer, but a few of my favorite ways to deflect the attention are: ‘It gives my mother something to live for.’ ‘Johnny Depp is taken.’ ‘Just lucky, I guess.’ ‘I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo-doll rituals.’” -Linda Sunshine, author of Women Who Date Too Much…And Those Who Should Be So Lucky Drop some science on the situation “Defuse the comment by saying that studies have shown that marrying at a later age increases the odds of the marriage lasting. The younger you are, the more likely it is that you’ll grow in different directions. But when you’re older, you’ve got a better idea of who the person is and that they’re going to stay that way.” -David Givens, Ph.D., anthropologist and author of Love Signals Smile and move on with savvy “Don’t flip out if someone hits you with the question. Remember that the holidays are a tense time and people might just be looking for conversation-starters. Try to go into these parties, if you have to go, with a good attitude and respond good-naturedly. ‘Thank you for recognizing how high my standards are,’ or ‘No one has been smart enough to ask me yet’ are good responses. Or just say, ‘That's a good question, I've never thought about it before!’ and walk away with a huge smile on your face.” -Joyce Newman, media relations/communications expert and founder of The Newman Group Kimberly Dawn Neumann is a writer and performer in New York City who now intends to respond with “I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss America” the next time anyone questions the lack of a big “rock” on her left hand. She has contributed to Marie Claire, Fitness, and Prevention, among other publications. p.s. i need some new+good music in my life. p.s. im thankful for my parents. p.s. ive uploaded photos to classparty+sleepover+donuts! [shib] i survive on the breath you are finished with says: hahaha [shib] i survive on the breath you are finished with says: i feel so happy when i make people i care abt happy [shib] i survive on the breath you are finished with says: its a nice feeling : D p.s. finally chosen my committees for presscorps! cant wait for harvard really. p.s. i just wish this guy wld tell us whats bugging him. [Soulstice] says: long time no talk [Soulstice] says: i've been reclusive recently \/؆ says: haha yeah why like thatt [Soulstice] says: i have been busy \/؆ says: with whatt \/؆ says: are u moody [Soulstice] says: no i am not [Soulstice] says: i am just, taking a step back and letting the world go on
5:12 AM
Sunday, November 20, 2005
scream my lungs out Broken this fragile thing now And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces And I've thrown my words all around But I can't, I can't give you a reason I feel so broken up (so broken up) And I give up (I give up) I just want to tell you so you know (Chorus) Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do You are my only, my only one i am positively stuck on this song, thanks to jonk's yellowcard cd. something abt it is so yearning and heartfelt, it's...beautiful. haha. well well well what a weekend it has been really. it seemed as though things were gonna fall apart on friday night. zee&nash not being able to make it and what not. truth to be told i was more disappointed than angry. disappointed in them, but also in all of us i guess. sat morning i tripped down to ntuc centre @ marina boulevard for the today srp writing competition. expecting a gp essay, we were in for one great surprise. the exam room was super cool, had a view of the spore river and the esplanade, but even cooler was the paper itself. thanks to the funny guy neilhumphreys it was a mixture of general knowledge trivia, a test on observation skills based on an almost nonsensical sounding briefing beforehand, a scenario choosing task and lastly a sample article question. in short it was one real eyeopener and im really glad i woke up early to go for that. after the paper heather, junxing, liansheng and myself trotted to suntec city, past fullerton and the merlion which brought back certain memories, and ate lunch at BK there. that was my third BK meal in two weeks. im almost growing averse to it. my first big mistake that day was probably drinking half of my coke. coke btw, is an evil drink. or pepsi. whatever. it's not only cold, it's also gassy. i went home and slept. waking up at 4 plus i managed to be late for the 530 meeting time at clementi mrt. but surprise terence was on the same bus as me! i was elated when i saw him when we got off. until we got there of course. there was a grand total of 0 pple awaiting us. zhifeng came soon after, then huanna, then eventually yeeler. many girls cldnt make it. many others were at yingsze's preparing food. so we took173 to terence's and saw his welltrained dog beagan (and then there was hush the fake hush puppy haha)and basically as soon as everyone came we had a lot of fun. and im not just saying this haha. it was really in my opinion one great party. we didnt do much, but the good was great for one. well planned and well cooked. got plenty of photos of the prettayy table. pple were goofing around, esp with the keyboard and the microphone, and the electro foot thingy...we tried watching kill bill, but some pple freaked out after the vernita green scene, so we stopped it. and eventually the class played truth or dare. hmmm somehow it feels so strained blogging about it. i sorta ended my night there playing badminton, scooting off soon after with cc to clementi to meet alan. i guess i have a restored faith in my class after the lousy night that was lovely war. i didnt have fun then at all. well, generally that is. still some elements that i cannot stand, but will continue to tolerate. ahh well, what can we do. thankew rj096 for that party i really needed it! i had fun cuz i could really let go there and then! yayyy we ended up reaching hougang at 11plus. it was kinda weird, like just going there just to sleep haha. but we didnt did we? sorta did lots of little things before i felt sneezy and all. i guess it was nice just being there instead of at home, in front of the com, like now. ahhhh. i enjoyed that night. i guess when you enjoy yourself, you sorta forget why you enjoyed yourself, cuz thats happening to me now. haha ok i know we played the harry potter gnome card game, which i won thank you. then uno, which i think i won also thank you! unfortunately cc claimed games like these lacked intellect and skill so oh well, what can i say to sour grapes haha! alright joking joking, as usual. we kept switching music btwn power98 and 987, and daniel powter and yellowcard. we had ovaltines for snacks, and mattresses for comfort. but what we really had, was each other for company. mindless company maybe, but therapeutic. in the end, if you all must know my nose acted up and i cldnt take the aircon so i had to drink plenty of hot water, breathe in steam to ease my breathing and sleep alone in the guestroom without aircon. cc&alan were nice to sit by me reading magazines before retiring. the next day we went for breakfast- kayatoast and egg and kopi/teh at hougang point and then we watched killbill vol1 finally after so many tech problems wooohooo! it was a smashin' movie i tell ya! now they all dont like it grrr. i will have to kill them now wldnt i? mwhahahaa. we were clueless as to what to do after the movie. always happens. looked at some old exam questions, photos, cards, pamphlets, u know, memories in print. most of it was verbal recall throughout the night, amidst laughter and the usual banter. and few things jonk wld always do when we visit: (1) show us the survivor flash presentation and comment that i didnt contribute much (2) conduct a live demo of his collection of movable toys from macdonalds, ranging from incredibles to chicken little. (insert excited clap from the proud owner when the toy, having moved from one end of the room to ther other, eventually self destructs or stops as mechanically intended.) (3) be extremely anal about dust and us touching the glass of his cupboard doors. (4) exhibit his collection of cds in the nice red borders cd album holder and hyperventilating when we accidentally mistreat the booklets. (5) serve us nothing and eat his own food, but in a strangely acceptable way. we had some time to talk about our future. jonk was all for revealing his secrets or whatever only next year when he feels we wont see each other again. i dunno, so weird, imagine not seeing each other ever again. and was telling alan that i might be one of those pple he recognizes but cant really associate with his memory in time to come. he told me not to be pessimistic but im wondering if that's possible? imagine i grew a huge beard cuz i went to russia. noone would recognize me! anw, the ivy league looks way kewl. but who knows where we'll go. everyday is a crossroad of some sort. we make numerous decisions. i rmbr telling someone once that sometimes different decisions eventually lead back to the same path. sometimes we dont always have control of the choices we make, for fate, or smthing its kind will truly determine what happens to us. think so? i dunno. i guess nobody else wld understand how fun it was. and i dont see the need to explain it. i hope the paragraph has done it more credit than a mere two liner. ok silly me being typically bitter and all. go away. haha but no seriously, for what its worth, thank you for your house!!! im sorta better now cuz sleep does wonders. and now christine has made me feel moody thru no fault of hers. Christine 'The world smells like him again.' says: life is always kind when you look back on it Christine 'I've thrown my words all around.' says: I wish I could say I appreciated this year more so the end of the year is just round the corner. christmas makes my heart sink with hope. yeah, paradox i know, but i guess things shld only get better? this year has been so kind to me, im utterly thankful. i cant wait. i feel so fulfilled this weekend. did 3 big things as summed up above. might be boring to some, but meant a lot to me. i just wanna live! Made my mistakes, let you down And I can't, I can't hold on for too long Ran my whole life in the ground And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone And something's breaking up (breaking up) I feel like giving up (like giving up) I won't walk out until you know (Chorus) Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do You are my only my only one (Interlude) Here I go...so dishonestly leave a note for you my only one And I know...you can see right through me So let me go...and you will find some one Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one...no one like you You are my only my only one My only one(x3) You are my only my only one!
7:08 AM
Thursday, November 17, 2005
love actually Yo, your love personality type is ENFP About 6% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type. As an ENFP, you probably find most traditions and rules to be a real bore. Others around you might even see you as a bit of a rebel. It appears that you enjoy standing apart from the crowd. Moreover, because you have such a free spirited, friendly manner, there will usually be a crowd around you to stand apart from. Your special qualities can be very attractive. Among those traits is a high energy level that often keeps you on the move. ENFPs like you are known for being real Renaissance types and having a diverse array of interests. Whether it's in work or play, your type is willing to take more risks than most. In relationships, you can be hard to pin down. Life is a journey not a destination for you. You aren't the kind to falsely lead someone on. It seems you'd rather be evasive than lie to get out of a sticky situation. Because you crave excitement, chances are that you resist getting in to the kind of routine that often comes with commitment. This can sometimes pose a problem if you're paired with someone who needs a lot of structure in their relationship. Given your test results, Tickle's personality experts have determined your four most compatible matches when connecting with others. One of those four compatible types is an ISFJ.
10:54 PM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
goblet of fire im in a super good mood now! yes now! this very moment! why? because ive just watched harry potter and the goblet of fire, and ashlee's pieces of me is currently playing on power98! like, this night was meant for me! and to think i didnt plan for it! thats why i say, things just happen when you least expect it and you fall in love with it just like that. and tonight i really really had fun, thanks to shib/stef for inviting me to take over chere's place! 1B was really nice to be around with. great company for the movie and great fun discussing and "dissecting" it with them after that. haha we promised to go back and mug...harry potter that is! the first assignment is to watch chamber of secrets again this weekend on ch5 hahaha. really, thanks guys. somehow i just fell in love with life tonight. i was just going with the flow, keeping up the momentum of spontaneity, just soaking up all the fun. wheeeee! though im sorry that i sorta betrayed nash by watching it before him and not with him but ahhhh i dunno i dont feel i shld have any regrets for this magical night, esp with the magic feel of the movie and the christmas season in the air! i can smell christmas coming! was just telling them just now that it seemed like yesterday that i watched prisoner of azkaban, seeing the poster with hermione in that pink sweater with crookshanks and the pumpkin at the back! and now one year has swooshed past just like that! amazing! and i rmbr the last time i watched it with pple like zee cuz i rmbr zee and i were very reluctant to leave the theatre, waiting throughout the credits in hope of some teaser at the back. haha we all did the same tonight, sitting through the nice music and rolling credits. it was kinda pointless, but it was a really cosy atmosphere. i guess all good things had to come to an end. haha and "no dragons were harmed in the making of this movie"- im sure so funnyyy. [shib] a movie script ending says: haha everyone loves samjo :] shib just reminded me to thank zul as well! well yes thank you haha! i was actually kinda sour that he invited jonk along for the $5 sneak of harry potter but u know what, im glad i got to watch it with a bigger and perhaps more fun group, no doubt for $3 more, but we had so much to talk and laugh about that it just felt very right being there whiling my time away with a group of very nice pple. because of stupid IE, which keeps closing down due to errors, i pray its not another stupid virus, im now relegated to typing in notepad before transferring it. im largely to blame for not blogging continuously and now its alrdy 2.30am bloody but well i guess im not tired yet. argh i hate to wake up late and feel lazy and useless. but nvm im not gonna let all this spoil my mood. ive chosen to remain happy ok so i dont care and youre all gonna be happy with me. i was supposed to sound more psycho than this but obviously blogspot lost the lower half of my entry. so much for recovering the post. id rather write the whole damn thing again right?! okok cool down yes i need to do that. so the movie! yes it was really good in my opinion, had so much fun watching it, watching the book come alive and i guess i had little expectations cuz i didnt read the book recently enough to rmbr all the tiny details and parts that went missing. haha so to me it was a complete story with fascinating animations like the beauxbaton carriages to the goblet of fire itself to the hoooot dragons to basically everything magic lah. and i enjoyed the funny bits a lot too, like moaning myrtle being a pervert when harry was bathing- her chuckle was to die for. madame maxime was funny too but pretty disturbing when she decided to eat smthing frm hargrid's beard. anw she looks like a tranny, too thin i think. haha. and honestly cho didnt turn out to be that bad! i feel so sorry she got lots of hate mail cuz i think she sorta grows on you. same way a lotta ppple dont really like dumbledore now, but i guess the hippie look is kinda endearing. hopefully the actors will pick it up from there and pls can they pls stay and act for all the movies? recasting will be crazy and a break in the nice series of things. we want them we need them! haha i thought fleur and krum were really good for their roles. they actually looked and acted the part perfectly. cedric got girls swooning over him but unfortunately for them he's dead isnt he? haha. jean was telling me online just now that she loves cedric (diggory). geddit? man how scandalouss haha. she's gonna kill me. rita skeeter was one of the highlights for sure, except she didnt get exposed as an animagus yeah? the beetle and eavesdropping and all that. but i guess like russell & yingsze & cc said it was good for such a long book. cant really expect it to go on forever. those pple i just mentioned watched it separately btw. cool right? jean also! watching the same show from all over the island and discussing it online haha. ok im sounding inane now. oh yeah mad eye moody's eye was so fake and silly but the actor pulled him off well enough. loved voldermort. almost flawless except for his voice, a bit too normal for my taste, shld be more sinister, and his eyes, shld be slits for irises right? the part where he transformed from foetus form to human with flowing black robes was priceless. priori incantatem was breathtaking. huiting had good observations though. harry didnt look as shocked to see his parents than he shldve. and the caretaker at the start? seemed as though seeing a snake like nagini was an everyday thing. deatheaters look damn cool cant wait for bellatrix and all to appear and duel in the next show. and guess who's coming along? dolores umbridge and luna lovegood! wooohoo! ehhh a bit on the 3 leads. harry and ron's hairs need to go! if not make them as nice as the twin's. hermione needs to, on the otherhand put on somemore hair to become bushy again! she's too pretty lah. haha i cant believe im complaining but seriously. nonetheless, looks aside, they've all improved as actors, esp emma watson during the last scene. things are gonna change and all. yeah cld really feel it from her you know! well so much for the most expensive movie ever made. i dont agree with teckheng that its forgettable. i thought it made my night, possibly my day too, which started with a very long story of how michelle frm pandan vally and myself were late for ogl meeting cuz of missing a bus, jay-walking, and dead pigeons. haha thanks for doing the unthinkable with me this morning michelle! it was great fun, in a weird way. so anw i returned to pandan valley at night feeling so accomplished. russell was reminding me that our harry potter journeys are gonna end soon, and maybe not in places we wld like it too, hence bursting my happy bubble and bringing me back down from cloud nine. but i thank him for being real ya know. imagine nxt year we'll be doing As. and when the last book comes out, we'll be in NS. that sucks!!! i need my harry potter! gee, so much to look forward to! oh yeah tetty revealed that the picture of desdemona in our othello book is actually maggie smith! she was rather hot in her younger years, believe it or not. i kinda admire her though, old but still going strong in so many films. all in all, this has been a most fulfilling day. i didnt really enjoy oteam meeting though. i guess i needa warm up to the crowd soon enough, cuz i will have to work with them pretty soon. and co-ogl, how?! i wonder if smith's serious abt choosing me. cuz right now my mind draws a blank when i think of that. ahhh im not gonna bother till i really hafta. alright then, so much for not knowing how to paragraph! im just incoherent i guess. flow of consciousness at times, in my own little world. e-Awards nominations are now open. refer to ETC section for more details or approach the organizer, aka me! i think i shall go read all my potter books again. and try to be a proper fan. cant wait! wonder what i'll do when its all over. how often does such a craze come about anyway? oh well. let's not try to expect so many things i guess. we always wanna remain in the present cuz we find comfort in it. but sometimes, its just necessary to move on, whether we like it or not. "without our highs and our lows, where will we go?" wilson phillips plays in da background. such a comfort to hear their voices. "if you hold on, for one more dayy" yeah im gonna hold on alright. my free days are coming to an end. next week spells the start of binding committment. but if you ask me, so far, the holidays have been generally well spent. to think there's so much left undone. and yeah, im more than eager to move on. on a heavier note, prefer can be a pretty nasty game. shibani asked me the most difficult ive ever encountered, cuz it was really serious and i guess it reminded me of how much i lacked in life. oh well, dunkin donuts! I know there's pain Why do lock yourself up in these chains? No one can change your life except for you Don't ever let anyone step all over you Just open your heart and your mind Is it really fair to feel this way inside? Chorus: Some day somebody's gonna make you want to Turn around and say goodbye Until then baby are you going to let them Hold you down and make you cry Don't you know? Don't you know things can change Things'll go your way If you hold on for one more day Can you hold on for one more day Things'll go your way Hold on for one more day You could sustain Or are you comfortable with the pain? You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness You got yourself into your own mess Lettin' your worries pass you by Don't you think it's worth your time To change your mind? (Chorus) I know that there is pain But you hold on for one more day and Break free the chains Yeah I know that there is pain But you hold on for one more day and you Break free, break from the chains Some day somebody's gonna make you want to Turn around and say goodbye Until then baby are you going to let them Hold you down and make you cry Don't you know? Don't you know things can change Things'll go your way If you hold on for one more day yeah If you hold on Don't you know things can change Things'll go your way If you hold on for one more day, If you hold on Can you hold on Hold on baby Won't you tell me now Hold on for one more day 'Cause It's gonna go your way Don't you know things can change Things'll go your way If you hold on for one more day Can't you change it this time Make up your mind Hold on Hold on Baby hold on
11:00 AM
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
on how life is hahahaha! my class blog is more or less soft porn now, what with jessica alba and her sleazy tiger beer bikini ad. as of now nobody has admitted to it but i think we all know who's responsible! "so and so rode his horse"! hahaha cant help but be hugely amused, esp the girls' reactions mwhahaha. for a limited time only. alright weekend was really lazy, but i watched two comedies! the waterboy & mixed nuts- both very hilarious, and im convinced adam sandler is a great actor noww. mixed nuts was really nutty and made me laugh like never before in such a long time. the christmas tunes made me realize that christmas is around the corner again. i dont know how to feel about that. last year was pretty boring, christmas eve spent in school i think. i hope this year will be different. but with ogl and stuff coming up. gosh. busy times ahead. i just wanna enjoy the holiday season and soak up the festive mood. its been a long time. shld start listening to xmas tunes soon. finally settled our banner designs and frankly im itching to start work, despite aching all over from a sudden inspirational game of tennis yesterday in school. tennis is like, smthing i havent touched in years. obviously im at the sucky stage but i guess im rather mediocre at most sports anw, not that im content but i guess i have no real compelling reason to commit to any one sport and train vigorously. frankly, its just smthing i do for fun! there are times i imagine how different my life would be if i was posted to a sports cca in secschool. would i be any different in terms of the stuff i do, the things i say, the way i think. its nurture vs nature i think. but alas my life is not like that cool movie sliding doors. if it were i wld love to watch my life go two separate ways. we only ever know one, sometimes too well dont we? and we wish at times for things to be drastically different just for the sake of breaking out of monotony or the preconceptions that pple have abt you. but life's as such. as much as a bitch it can be, it has been pretty good to me. and i know that all the good things in my life now, i might not get if i were to slide on to the other door. i guess this year has been such a packed year its been a whirlwind, a seismic rush, i needa really think about where im going. cuz on the surface it seems i might have everything that so many others around me want. and im not saying this to boast or anything, but im just being truly aware of how fortunate i am. spaper results were out yesterday. honestly? i didnt expect it. i thought they were gonna be anal abt it and give everyone like me just 1. but in the end i got lit&hist. i guess they really scrutinize the grades cuz some pple like zee got lit instead of hist and the diff was like what, a few marks? today when joy was doing her appeal i really wanted her to succeed because i could feel her sincerity oozing out of her. and i was thinking to myself, yeah how can they judge all of us just based on one silly exam? shumin was bold in writing what she wrote in her appeal but i thought it was really frank and spot-on. pple have been consistent throughout but flopped in the final exam. does it matter? it doesnt prove anything? we all know how stressful promos were. and the so called flop is only a flop because we are up against each other, toughest competition from all corners of rj, it really isnt that easy. whatever it is, for the pple who are appealing, i hope you all get it, as long as you are sincere and know what ure doing. sometimes we just needa follow our hearts. im gonna try out 2, and if need be, i will drop, but will try to have as much fun and gain as much exposure as possible. frankly im quite excited to get started. econs s today, i crashed, and it seemed like momentum was really picking up. they were getting all ready alrdy. pretty scary, and might seem kiasu, but i wld like to think its all good stuff and good fun! so much to do, so little time, but i cant wait to try. yes i will. im gonna try :] ive been blessed with this opportunity, id be a fool to let it go without giving it all that ive got. kwok lect today was unfortunately as usual. didnt really pay attention then at the end xtine and i realized we hafta do a position paper on that very topic at the very start of next year. drats. but i was in such a slacking mood i cldnt really bother. kwok dressed down, in his very-him outfit. we all had such fun scrutinizing the ring on his third finger, which he professed he bought for himself. haha. us trip really seems closer than ever, and more exciting at that. really cant wait. as for stuff like mindef, eurghh. the programme just cheapens the whole outlook, but i promise to stay openminded and hope it will be fulfilling. most times, good things happen when we're not expecting it. sometimes, better. this week has been busier than expected. and im really lazy. i really hope to end it off with a good ole hangout with the guys at sleepover. and then ppp next week! everyone can make it! hurray! though, what will i do after its all over? the race is on. as it's always been. it's just how much you wanna put into it at different phases of ur life. just like how often u wanna listen to that clock tick. not very much, except for those quiet moments in our lives, we sit by the table thinking about everything big and small. those little moments, yet many and at times impactful. im still seeking greater fulfilment. someone or something needs to complete me. p.s. one of the random joys nowadays is waking up, happy with the way my hair looks and spending less than 10 minutes in the toilet. whee! p.s. i wish everyone around me will be happy. p.s. project runway is such an inspiration. p.s. maxine is kinky.
5:31 AM
Friday, November 11, 2005
champagne supernova some funny indication that religion is somewhat fickle. i dont know what it is, actually. ramu on his declaration of love for four guys who can sing: Seville O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining, Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees! Oh hear the angel voices! Oh night divine! Oh night when Christ was born! Oh night divine! Oh night! Oh night div Seville Chains shall he break for the slave is our brother, and in his name all oppression shall cease. Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we; Let all within us praise his holy name. Christ is the lord, that ever, ever praise we. Noel! Noel! Oh night;oh night divine! Noel! Noel! Oh night; oh night divine! Noel! Noel! Oh night; oh night divine! mot. the roadrunners says: ramu ure HINDU one week ago. pw today was disappointing, well, for me at least. i guess i cld blame myself for treating it too lightly, not preparing a speech at all like all those pple who actually bother to memorize lines without thinking abt what theyre actually saying. anyway yes i ran out of time and skipped a point and then gave a rather lousy answer for q&a even though i had the stuff in me, it just didnt surface! and hardly anyone else seems to have done i&r in my class. and shirin gave me a shock when she mentioned some criteria stated in the long forgotten exam booklet. but u know what, im not gonna care anymore. ive put in so much, whatever i get, so be it. liyana has also managed to help me put things in perspective. let's hope she's right. liyana ; i feel that word for you says: i dont think you flopped liyana ; i feel that word for you says: you have a tendency to think of things more pessimistically liyana ; i feel that word for you says: okay maybe not pessimistically liyana ; i feel that word for you says: you're paranoid! mot. the roadrunners says: thanks liyana ; i feel that word for you says: welcome liyana ; i feel that word for you says: haha mot. the roadrunners says: in some weird way, that makes me feel better. really one thing my group's really proud of is our puppet show though. and that's fantastic. no scores, no consequences, but we still rawked, and had fun. yeahh! a few of us trotted to macs after the morning op for some breakfast. tried to get down to the sweater but ideas are still pretty raw. and boy did glen stir up some unnecessary attention for himself. eye contact somemore lah, smile somemore lah...chinese high boy somemore!!! haha we were all so tired by the end of it i think most of them went home to sleep and/or become/spy on fairies @ orchard. being the responsible me i went back for decor meeting, one which lasted for abt 5 mins, making stef feel horribly cheated, having come all the way from home. but i think the decor team's really talented, and dedicated. i cant wait to start workk. oh yeah, did i mention that greek mythology is really one of a kind- incestuous and grotesque yet intriguing all at the same time. and i did the unthinkable. i played jump&bound, or whatever the killer bunnies game is called. i like to call it bunny love. i mean look at all that bloood! it was crazy! addictive. and i lost pretty badly. haha but for once, sitting there with a strong breeze, just treating myself to silly cheap thrills like was greattt. i was mocking time, wasting it however i wanted. just got back from wayang ramayana at smu. no comments. ok ok it was disappointing, but i guess the effort that went into it was admirable. and it was certainly some eyeopener, esp the humongous campus that didnt feel like a campus at all. at least i got some fresh air. --- ok after talking to my sis i realized i was kinda too harsh a critic. i think it was quite artfully done after all- stayed true to the shadow puppet craft and epic tradition and all. as of now, after all the phonecalls and brainwrecking, im totally beat. i dont know why im even bothering, but no, yes i do. i want a chance for all of us to be together and i know its not right for me to channel my frustration to any of you but do you understand how difficult this is. if i went to sleep right now, and not bother abt this, tell me who will settle this mess. it will never happen ever. and there's no point in holding it next year. next year's our swan year what makes you think there's time. its just so freaking difficult! arghhhh why cant things just go our way for once? anw while pw is still on my mind, i'd like to pay a tribute to my pw grp- possibly the most amazing grp cuz we have come so far, really. thanks shirin, glen and trix for all your senses and sensibilities. wldnt have done it w/o you guys. may we get a good score next year, cuz frankly, we really deserve that! "all's well that ends so very well, and here concludes the tale i tell" radioblogclub has been my latest addiction. thanks jas! its kinda troublesome choosing tracks but totally worth the random nice songs that i might have never encountered if not for this. wheee! "if music be the food of love, play on" i particularly enjoy discovering the beauty of old songs, songs that i havent heard in a long time but were very prominent when they were still hot on the radio. we got tired of them of course, but they bring back so much comfort. here's one: How many special people change? How many lives are living strange? Where were you while we were getting high? Slowly walking down the hall Faster than a cannonball Where were you while we were getting high? Someday you will find me Caught beneath the landslide In a champagne supernova in the sky Some day you will find me Caught beneath the landslide In a champagne supernova A champagne supernova in the sky Wake up the dawn and ask her why A dreamer dreams she never dies Wipe that tear away now from your eye Slowly walking down the hall Faster than a cannonball Where were you while we were getting high? Some day you will find me Caught beneath the landslide In a champagne supernova in the sky Some day you will find me Caught beneath the landslide In a champagne supernova A champagne supernova 'Cause people believe that they're Gonna get away for the summer But you and I, we live and die The world's still spinning round We don't know why Why, why, why, why How many special people change? How many lives are living strange? Where were you while we were getting high? Slowly walking down the hall Faster than a cannonball Where were you while we were getting high? Someday you will find me Caught beneath the landslide In a champagne supernova in the sky Some day you will find me Caught beneath the landslide In a champagne supernova A champagne supernova 'Cause people believe that they're Gonna get away for the summer But you and I, we live and die The world's still spinning round We don't know why Why, why, why, why How many special people change? How many lives are living strange? Where were you while we were getting high? We were getting high We were getting high We were getting high We were getting high p.s. i have this desire to hang out with friends, classmates, anyone, someone. i wanna sit around and talk abt nothing. i wanna go iceskating and bowling and have sleepovers. i wanna be active, not dormant. i dont wanna be alone. i wanna have fun. i need to throw a party. pps. who wants to watch A Christmas Carol?
5:41 AM
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
trust Taken from: www.x-tine.diary-x.com On growing and celebrating anniversaries, Sam Jo says it's not fair that I've seen him stripped bare of these pretty things he's adorned himself with over the years through reinventing himself with new year resolutions that are effected more than anyone realises, acts of tedious determination and wild impulses. He is angry that all I will ever see is that little pri 5 boy with the fluffy hair, fiery temper and a shiny metal water bottle that dribbles. I will never recognise how he's grown, what a better person he's made himself. I see it all. What you are now, what scars you've earned over the years and what gleam has crept into your eyes we see more clearly than anyone else because we are the ones who've seen you clean pink and soft. These new badges of maturity you feel so proud of we feel even stronger, only because we know where you've once been. Our way of marvelling at how much you've grown and achieved now is constantly rememebering how little you once were, so you can compare yourself to that and feel even more anchored and bigger, so you know we've grown with you. x-tine at 12:07 PM the first line there caught my attention, but the last line about growing "with you" really feeds the soul. men grow together, not apart! intelligent things some people write... ☼►BeWiTcHeD◄☼ grumblegrumble 众里寻她千百渡,蓦然回首,那人却在灯火阑珊处。 says: that'll make me cry. you know what happened 2 nights ago? i fell asleep, half smiling half crying, reading the script today a few of us returned to move back sets from the LT. clearing up our room was really amusing, considering there were scraps of food wrappers and food boxes and paper cups and flowers...basically all the nonsense you could imagine scattered on tables, chairs and the floor. it was nice seeing tech scripts lying around, and threesome notices still flying strong. returning to lt2, i was filled with this immense pride and sense of belonging. i rmbr feeling that way when i returned to ri's lt1 for some amath mock paper after df04. today, seeing all the sets, the van, the blocks, the bed, the toilet rack etc., and knowing that it all had to be moved back, as if all this didnt happen at all, was rather heartbreaking. we had fun of course, but somehow returning the furniture didnt feel as thrilling as 'stealing' it. it was the last time we'd ever do it. move the same stuff from one place to another. the exact same furniture for the same purpose. there was a familiar smell, and i swear i wanted to plunge on the bed and fall asleep. pek was kinda bummed that not many pple replied to her sms. only the few of us were there. but well, their loss, our gain. we tucked into pistachios, sugar biscuits. hershey's kisses and ovaltine after that. it's a bit surreal that its been officially one week since our first night. one week ago at this time we were probably getting ready in our holding room, and one wouldve just ended their run. ronnie passed us the cd photos and nick was kind enough to let me have it first. viewed the entire thing as a slideshow while listening to rachel yamagata. the pictures really speak a thousand words, and emotions. sighhhh. i want ppp! yesterday we finally finished our prep for the puppet show. seems good to go. one last pract tmr at glen's. looking around me, i see pple done and over with pw. cant wait for my turn. amazingly i sat in front of the com the whole nite yesterday trying to do i&r, but a quick phonecall with zee made me realize i was writing crap. today, with the help of michellebranch, i have finally completed the confounded thing, 500 words on the dot, probably the first time im actually paying heed to the word limit. but with all that said, im sure gonna miss pw. odecor will be starting real work pretty soon. im quite excited abt the theme actually. the budget's a pain though. hopefully things will turn out fine...and i hope i get attached to storyline! alright, i still have tons to do and really the room's in need of a serious packing up. next week will be my last free and easy week, but boy will it be difficult with decor starting work. then there's ppp. then there's classouting. then there's another sleepover at jonk's which i hope will materialize cuz we're really running out of time. and oh yeah alan! i dont know if i shld be proud or disappointed in him. can't we be trusted? whatever happened to trust... The following was taken from: http://lifestyle.msn.com/MindBodyandSoul/PersonalGrowth/Articlelhj.aspx?cp-documentid=45172 The Courage to Trust It takes wisdom to know who we can be vulnerable with, and when. And it all starts with the ability to believe in ourselves. By Cynthia L. Wall Confronting Your Fears No one is born knowing how to trust. Life gives us many teachers, some caring and others cruel. Few of us receive a solid base of trust as children. Even fewer are taught how to trust ourselves. Regardless of the lessons we each received, we need to learn how to trust as adults. But we don't have to be condemned by our early life experiences. Trust is a skill to be learned and a choice to be made. It's a gift to be shared with those who appreciate its importance. Trust is also fragile and must be handled with great care. Careless words and impulsive actions can easily damage trust. Some decide early in life to seldom trust anyone, keeping their authentic selves hidden from any possibility of rejection or betrayal. This is a safe but narrow path. Wisdom comes from taking the risk to reach out and trust others, although we know that we're likely to make some mistakes and we know that the bond of trust may not last forever. This is where courage comes into play. Why? Because it takes courage to confide in others. When we let down our guard in the hopes of a compassionate response, we take the risk that others may judge us. With a shift of the emotional current, the door of tenderness may shut, and support transforms to criticism. If continued betrayals happen to us over time, the world may seem filled with potential dangers, and we'll be tempted to limit how vulnerable we dare to be. Confronting these fears takes deliberate and brave efforts. Those who had relatively painless childhoods still may find that even the most trusted people can fail them. Friends and lovers say unkind things. Lust runs over commitment. Employers make bad decisions and go bankrupt, costing people their jobs. Selfish desires often override promises made to others. Why You Should Learn to Trust So why should anyone bother to expand the ability to trust more deeply? Because it can bring tremendous comfort and joy. Trust is the heartbeat of every significant relationship. Without trust, love has no place to grow. There's a sense of safety and comfort when trust is present, and little inhibition. The return to trust after a disagreement with a loved one is a very special return to joy. In an ideal world, trust would be the standard, and betrayals would be unusual. Trust would rarely need to be discussed, because people would be honest. There would be a shared awareness of a greater good being served, and we would follow the rules we were given as children: Tell the truth, even when it hurts, because "honesty is the best policy." "You're only as good as your word." "Think before you speak." "Treat others as you would like to be treated," the Golden Rule of love applied to all. We were taught that good people obeyed these guidelines and were punished when caught being unable to do so. Later we found out these rules were constantly broken by parents, teachers, and friends. Although the rules are based in common sense, they aren't in common practice. We also quickly figured out that these rules were seldom enforceable, and many of our peers considered us foolish if we insisted on sticking to them. We were taken advantage of if we held to them ourselves: No one who's playing by the rules can win a game if everyone else is cheating. The immediate gratification of being accepted means playing along. A conflict between what we see and what we feel plays havoc on our developing beliefs. This confusion is carried into adulthood and makes trust one of the most important riddles we have to solve. And yet every day, we're put to the trust test. From accepting a doctor's diagnosis to assuming that a car will stop at a red light before we cross the street, trust plays a role in our actions and assumptions. Just to get through the day, we are called upon to make many leaps of faith. The Real Meaning of Trust If you're not exactly sure what trust is, you're part of a very big club. We all hunger for the ability to believe in others, and yet we may fall into self-destructive trust patterns that lead to stress-riddled relationships. We complain about the other person or situation, but remain enmeshed. We're stuck in a self-defeating cycle, deepening the distrust in ourselves and almost everyone else. Here are some of the common traps: If your boss, spouse, best friends, and children seem to take advantage of you, it's probably because you're not asking for what you want. Why? Because you don't trust them to listen without criticizing or rejecting you. If you stay in jobs, relationships, or even homes that aren't satisfying, you may lack trust in your judgment and ability to handle making big changes on your own. If you have a dream career or healthier lifestyle in your sights but aren't taking any steps toward making it happen, it could be because you lack faith in a positive future. Many of these problems occur because we don't have a strong enough sense of self-trust. To say "I trust myself" means taking care of one's own needs and safety and being a loving force in one's own life. It's scary to be truly honest with other people until we know we can count on ourselves. Keeping our promises to ourselves is fundamental to achieving the independence necessary to feel like a real adult. That's the key to self-confidence, to having the ability to explore new choices and tackle big challenges. Self-trust is not a steady state of self-confidence, immune to fear of failure and rejection. We may still be tempted to defer to others' opinions or pay heed to the inner voices that echo the people who never encouraged us to believe in ourselves. But learning self-trust will help us quiet those voices. As we change, we will attract others who believe in themselves -- and in us. Trusting someone is not an all-or-nothing proposition. A child wants to have perfect trust about all things, at all times. An adult learns more moderate expectations. Each relationship has a different place in our lives. A certain friend can be a shoulder to cry on but is irresponsible with money. One friend can keep a secret, while another would make a perfect gossip columnist. You discover that a new pal's casual "See you later" is actually more to be counted on than an old friend's sworn oath. We are in charge of the depth of trust we want to offer. Once we recognize our patterns, get comfortable with our instincts, and find confidence in our skills, the choices will be clearer. And we will possess the courage to create meaningful and lasting relationships. By increasing trust in ourselves and others, we gather the courage needed to have faith in a positive future for ourselves, despite the risk of failure. Faith in the face of uncertainty is based on a sense that there is something intrinsically good about life. When we have this kind of faith, we can name what we want and overcome obstacles to achieve it. We will develop confidence in our ability to move forward into the future. Reprinted with permission by New Harbinger Publications, Inc. The Courage To Trust, Cynthia Wall. Originally published in Ladies' Home Journal magazine, August 2005.
3:12 AM
Sunday, November 06, 2005
in another life heyy i was sitting in the same spot on my room's sofa just now thinking how i have been spending the past two days. it has been the most unproductive, esp relative to all the fun rehearsals that i will continue to sorely miss. i guess, sometimes being busy is a bliss. there are a million things awaiting my intervention, like pw, and tons of stuff to occupy my eyes and mind, like woman warrior and econs articles. been bloghopping quite a bit lately. i guess its always nice to hear what pple have to say abt your performance. or rather, read. but after a while, i guess the search just makes you feel so tiny. ok i dont know how to continue, so i shant. just saw mr reeves on tv, and i realize that i got a rather similar haircut. now that's fun. without a trace was a great treat for me, esp the last part abt vivien and her heart condition. i can just imagine how she had to put on that amazingly brave front- that scene with her crying in the car, then wiping away the tears and walking into the crime scene. man. it then occured to me that just exactly a week ago i was watching without a trace also, rediscovering it on tv for the first time in so long, and having the performance week ahead at the back of my mind. look now, its come and gone. how our lives just flicker, like butterflies and candle flames. i forgot to make mention of ihc after the promos. i guess i just didnt bother to blog down everything after that cuz maybe for once, i was really having that much fun in a long time. yeah, without having to fulfil this unsaid obligation of putting things down into words. shaun had to remind me that i dont have to put it down. you know what- so true. why do i have to? maybe because i want to. but, what do i really want? do i know that for sure? one thing's certain- im a confused kid. i will not forget the fun i had playing table tennis. i was unspeakably proud of the pple who really came down and gave their all. junxing was amazing cuz she swept away the women's singles. kudos also goes to matthew and the other guy (shucks i forgot his name) for winning all our male doubles. they were, in short, unstoppable. there were pple like alvin and sandhya whose utmost sincerity really touched me. we need more pple like that! i figure i got down to naming all those pple cuz of obligation again. cuz of the near impossibility that they might be reading this and feel disappointed if their names aint mentioned. well so much for obligation, to heck with thinking too much, and here you go. i was really proud of my 3 dear friends, namely nash, alan and ccc for their enthusiasm. so much for reliving the 2a table tennis days with animal farm textbooks eh? how cld i forget christine- we rocked! it was sweet success for a while. mt ended up fourth for tt, but i guess we had fun. at least pple turned up and played well. busted my left wrist after that from breaking a fall. i still cant believe it happened. but i kinda miss not being able to lift up my hand without feeling that pain. a part of me wished it was a fracture. so i cld have the cool cast and all. of course, it wldve been my first fracture! but noo...xray proved otherwise. oh well by the next day it went away. haha. track finals came and went. mt climbed to third i believe. and guess what? we won decor! by sheer originality i assure the cynics from mr. whether we deserved it or not is another matter. this cld not have been done w/o help from jonk and alan. see, such friends, they dont need to be in house comm. they are just the nicest pple u can count on. i almost lost my temper i think. i hide my face in shame. jerry was kinda upset with the results i think. but i guess he doesnt know how much respect he has earned from me. i guess i must say despite my trying to do what i could to help out, i just wasnt doing enough as a house comm member. i mean i look at junyi and dani and the rest and sometimes i wonder if im really doing enough. aesthetics events are coming up, and nash is gonna lead us to greater heights, i just know it! cant wait. if anything, the new mt noticeboard really speaks for it all. moor tarbet rawks! open house also came and went, as all other things do and did. i was looking down from the second floor at the amphi full of ri guys and i realized that all of them probably dont know how lucky they are. saw iz and matthew the other day after friday's show and i presumed they wld be sad but yeah iz acutely pointed out that all of the same pple wld be moving on with them. dang! you know how much i wld pay for some pple to be in rj with my batch too? how many tears were shed during the after 1st3mths period? gosh. but i guess im glad. i have an olvl cert to be proud of. i think the incoming batch, well, let's hope aside from the few pple i know, that they are all equally decent. and it sucks that very limited places are open to non raffles peeps. do u know how much more dynamic the place is becuz of these peeps? i cldnt imagine it w/o them. thus im thankful to be in my batch. ahhh. we shall see. oh yeah so i was a befriender and it was kinda cool busking for rp too. and doing the hums noticeboard! ahhh that was enjoyable really. was incredibly honoured when i had to do the cca board painting too. i guess i felt really satisfied completing 3 works of art for open house. busy, but fun. i reckon 3some rhrsals were not full force yet. hey no, actually we alrdy had night rhrsals. our first week i think. sigh. see. i cant seem to really leave it all behind. i guess it will take sometime. im just glad i dont have an exam to face anytime soon. after cut, it was truly sucky because i had prelims to think abt. come to think of it i was so lucky. nvm. im content. at least im secure in some areas of my life to draw strength from. yeah. so speaking of art, there was also artsalive at the library! yeah for those who dont know philip won first and then serene, a j2 and myself bagged merit awards! wheee! was actually so elated to have actually won smthing. strangely no 2nd/3rd. but kudos to philip- tho no doubt im sour that bb had to win again! mt is so gonna come back with a vengeance i tell you. i realize i never really gotta enjoy the milk tea with my fellow roadrunners. here i go again. i can safely say that I Am Me will probably bring this experience to mind. you know, just like how certain songs/cds will bring u back to a certain window of ur past. yeah. and for me to say that, knowing how big a part ashlee plays in my life, i'll have all the trouble in the world forgetting it. i guess all of us are darker than we seem to be. so many of us put on facades in life, it is really difficult to discern who is who, and where the real ends and the falsity begins. i thought i knew a lot of people. but things have happened that made me realize im just naive to think that i wld ever get to know someone completely. not even the person i eventually fall in love with. what separates one person frm another, no matter how close, on a spiritual level, is secrets. yeah. there will always be that invisible barrier. and its not always a bad thing i guess. sometimes i wish i didnt know some pple as well as i knew them. oh yeah and the phrase 'caustic facade' came out in one of the little notes. i wonder what that means, and how its actually still applicable to me. notice i used the word still. yeah. i really honestly thought iwas past that stage. sometimes i feel like im in another life, doing things a lot more differently because i see the brighter side and broader end of things. and im thankful for that. i can deal with things so much more maturely now. but my past will always come back to haunt me i guess, to put it very bluntly, and to exaggerate it. heh. i shudder to think how pple like xtine might compare me today and me then. its not fair! im this whole new improved person now, i wonder if even my dearest friends will acknowledge that. i wonder if we will ever learn to grow together. why do i feel a little apprehensive whenever i type dearest friends? what am i afraid of? i think im really in a clear state of mind now. i havent seen so many of them or properly talked to them in such a longgg time esp since threesome rhrsals began. i miss my friends. i need to get back in their lives, and i need them to know that im opening up my life to them once again. not that it was ever closed though. i wonder how many chose to read that. im such a sucker with time. its almost 2am now and i plan for a fruitful day ahead. yeah, before all the hectic shit starts streaming in. i wonder when i will get to see my teachers from ri again. i miss them dearly. somehow i feel we have less and less to talk abt. will that happen to the friends i make/ i have made? how well do i know the pple in my so called circle of close friends? yeah youre reading this now. so u know if ure in the circle or not. so do i know you? cuz i dont think i really do. and i guess u dont know me well enough too. then...shame on us- there's nothing else to say. what countless outings we have had, and will have, or intend to have- why do i feel so ambivalent abt it sometimes. i guess, somewhere along the line we have stopped growing. or maybe, more aptly put, stopped growing together, but instead, grown apart. trust me, i did not intend to write all of this. it just happened. i cant wait to see what will happen though. we have like what, a little more than a year of assured friendship. after that, it's free for all. who knows what will happen when some of us go overseas, get attached, then married, or get jobs all over the place. things will get pretty messy huh. i wish it didnt have to end. and it doesnt. yeah, let's see how productive my day can be then. starting in a few hours, after i catch some shuteye. u know what, this is a shout out to everyone reading this. sometimes i feel so ashamed of the friendships i have made because i keep thinking theyre all so fragile as compared to so many seemingly strong ones i feel around me. here's a challenge- i think im gonna start trusting in what i have a little bit more and challenge your friendships, which i dont think necessarily are that robust or unbreakable. i dont think any can be. we are all items of circumstance, happenstance, whatever. forever, just isnt possible. we can only try, which is most admirable, but what we really get is the opportunity to try. without the chance, what are we? look at the friends that went away to other schools. do i still know them? i dont think so. how their lives have spiralled out of control without me. and mine, gone wrong in their eyes. so there, prove me wrong. haha im not a cynic, ive just been doing some serious thinking. but i always trust in hope at the bottom of the box. miracles can really happen, when we believe. and when they do happen, we dont recognize it as a miracle, because we take so many things for granted that only the parting of the seas or smthing like that can make us believe in miracles. look at the pple who love you- they are miracles that have been there - (and can i say it) - forever. p.s. if you know of a way in which i can truly enrich my life, do share it! till then, im content.
8:50 AM
Saturday, November 05, 2005
the roadrunners so this is it, huh. can't believe its over. really. not at all. simply put: surreal. but i guess it isnt too much of an anti-climax, which wldve been terrible. almost unbearable. i feel like one of my blogdrive moods now, smthing within urging me to spill every single detail of the past month or so. i know, i have been this irritating inactive blogger that i never thought i wld turn into. but then again, i never wanted to be a blogger. never, until that strange urge overcame me one day. what on earth was i thinking? but im glad i got started. sometimes reading back, it really helps a lot in bringing back stuff which i thought i had lost, but only on closer inspection, realize its been there all along, waiting to be rediscovered, unearthed. the recent episode of Lost and that scene with katie digging up a little treasure box and playing back the tape really tugged my heart, cuz i wonder if i will ever have a chance to do that. really sweet. ashlee simpson on the radio- really keeps me going. was in a terrible mood the other day, and it was only when the guitar intro of boyfriend came on that i was able to drown all my troubles. with that said, i gather that her video has been on heavy broadcast here. haha. what can i say. i dont plan to take it down soon. she recently topped the billboard 200 again, and im more than proud of her. ahhh, ok, where do i start? well yes. there was promos. the main reason why i stopped blogging for a long while anw. i felt the greatest sense of uncertainty after everything was done. really had no idea how i would do. for one, no lit student wld be stupid enough to recognize a sonnet as a ballad. not many other math students wldve done practice on the same type of question and yet still feel helpless when it comes out just as predicted. and then i ramble. thing is, econs was left to the last minute to study, since i read thru almost everything during the sept holidays. simply had no time to revisit it sooner because of history. lit was last minute as usual, despite my attempt at starting early with othello. but in the end- believe it or not- well, i cant, yeah. i pulled through. phew! it has been most encouraging really. GP was a huge relief considering i had 15 mins left for application. sometimes, things happen when u least expect them to. PC pulled me down but othello was my saviour once again. econs was a disappointment at parts but i wasnt complaining, given the common test fiasco. history was a so near yet so far scenario, but made me feel really safe with everyone else getting around the same. math gave me a dream, and it came true. so in the end it ended with A2ABBB. was and am still hugely elated. but at the same time, terribly thankful to the fates above. i worked so hard for this. and the many pple who helped me. esp. mslui- she was really patient with me- truly dedicated and always striving to help me out. thanks so much. i will keep working hard. all the other teachers as well, for if not for them i will be nothing. jean, trix and the other fellas from class for those days spent mugging in the library. i never had such an experience- but it was most fruitful. thanks. i figure i have loads more pple to thank, esp my parents, who have been so tolerant with me and my temper, but hey- cant rmbr all of them now. that was that. and before long cc and pek were talking abt resuming rehearsals. wasnt really happy to learn that my freedom wld be snatched away from me that soon. i hardly had time to myself. and then it started, just like that. i guess it was a blessing in disguise. things like that come our way, and always prove to yield a special place in our heart when we least expect it. i cant exactly rmbr how it was then, despite it being only a few weeks ago, if we look at it from a macro point of view. but i guess the flurry of recent events have turned out to be so overwhelming that everything before that just seems to be part of it too, just that, we dont necessarily know how to pinpoint what made what so special. threesome has been in short, a beautiful experience. beautiful people, both inside and out, and beautiful moments that we shared together. i guess at this point, words truly fail me. i woke up this morning sorely missing the whole process in its entirety. i rmbr the auditions, when i first got the chance to really talk to shibani despite us being next door to each other every day. i rmbr having to do lizard in the loo with snee, and hungry with shibani. i rmbr rushing off to do banner painting for moortarbet. man, those were the days eh? seemed like ages ago. i rmbr when it was first intended to be FourPlay. i rmbr doing that monologue for the first time in my classroom. i rmbr being lionel with liyana as laura. i rmbr the first few rhrsals when everyone was still rather unfamiliar with each other. i rmbr rhrsing the porch scene with khin for the first time beside that blank green noticeboard and taking down notes on the script in pencil. i rmbr being as impressed as ever by cc's clever directions even from the very beginning. i rmbr practicing the ant/jess scene for the first time with sarah, and how things hit off so well. i rmbr the bus ride home on 156 with js and sarah. i rmbr js seemingly daoing me once on the bus- of course he really didnt. i still recall liyana being so enthusiastic abt the whole thing, and sean a little less. but then it all began to change. slowly, but surely. something happened in between, i just dont know what. there was the time we first had to stay back late. i figure my first dinner with everyone was beef noodles. i rmbr us being the first play to use LT2. i rmbr us 'stealing' couches from the consultation rooms! i rmbr the three cockroaches i killed during rehearsals, and the one that escaped into the crack on the wall. i rmbr the million times we shifted the sets to and fro, and how the toilet platforms eventually turned pink. who can forget the bed assembling, where everyone was busy screwing the bed, together. liyana's sleeping bag. gavin's dinner bitching. painting the van. the arrival of the first tufts of grass, and the toilet bowl. the flowers that got stolen, among the many things that went missing, like the shelves etc. i rmbr a few of us lazing on the same bed, taking "threesome" photos. hmm which brings me to, who has those? i dont wanna wake up one day to find our scandalous photos splashed all over the papers or smthing. haha. it's like, we've been doing it forever, you know. yeah, i know. i woke up feeling terribly empty. post production blues they say. i was really glad we got a chance to gather in a circle yesterday before the final show to bear our hearts. it was most touching. but i didnt get to say all i wanted to say. then again, some things are better left unsaid. others, cannot be forgiven if left unspoken. sigh. so here goes, despite the little notes, which i feel, wasnt enough. to my fellow cast: liyana, sarah, khin, seand & js, thank you so much. all of you mean so much to me. i cldnt imagine the entire thing without any of you. in the end, it was really you guys that kept me sane on stage, and most of the time, off stage too. all of you are really so talented im so honoured i got to share this with you guys. we have had so much fun, esp with the photoshoot (huge kudos to ronnie the king!) and all- let us not ever forget that :] to the very important others: chengchai, jo, gavin, nick & shibani, thanks a million too. all this wld not have been possible without you guys. most amazing team ive ever come across, extremely formidable and always so dedicated and encouraging, always looking out for us and achieving the impossible. if i had to craft a soundtrack for the roadrunners production, rachel yamagata's quiet will take track1. ashlee simpson's boyfriend will be somewhere too. but i think the most important track wld be that of our own voices, led by gavin, through the mindless songs that were belted out every now and then. oh yeah, and i wldnt dare to take the fabulous others like shumin, pek, zul (basically the whole exco) for coming up with this idea in the first place. thanks to cast of the other plays too, for their enthusiasm really kept us going. it was great fun watching them perform- i guess we're all proud of each other. biggest and heartiest thanks to all you guys. i wonder if the second night dip ever did happen. but it most certainly felt so. but nonetheless, most of the feedback has been most encouraging. i just wanna say to those that came down- it really meant a lot to us, so thanks for all your support and i really hope everyone had a blast. disappointments, i guess, were not preventable. it could have been so much better, but we did what we could on both nights, and despite friday not being the best we cld muster, we stayed strong for each other, and hey, i think that's what matters. we all worked so hard for this, so much effort put into perfecting even the most subtle things, for if you know chengchai, you wld know that details dont go unaccounted for. and thus, despite the screw ups here and there, i am immensely thankful and grateful, because we earned our place on stage, we earned that applause- we earned something that all of us as students pulled off by ourselves. now, after all the flowers, touching smses/msn msgs and encouraging words, and very charming bananas and tomatoes, which btw i am so grateful for so thank you loads, i guess its time to close the curtains and say goodbye. sorry if i did not manage to talk to so many of you after the show. god knows what i was doing. argh! everything starts somewhere, but not everything has to end. indeed. this new template has its purposes. aside from refreshing the whole blog image, i guess it suggests my addiction to the past, and that sometimes, while we shld learn to let go, it is from the past and from our memories that we draw our strength and confidence and happiness. till then, i am me. and i have so many things left to do, so many things awaiting me, yet, i feel kinda empty. happily nothing. hmmm.
4:36 AM
Credits Host: Blogger Software: Adobe Illustrator CS 2, Macromedia Flash Pro 8 Layout © Xavqior |