Mot, Myself and Me Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato. Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar
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from exit to exit CREATEUR ALLEY Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing Yesterdays January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
chernobyl what about chernobyl? what about deprivation? we dont know time is ticking out. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12489639/ http://todayspictures.slate.com/inmotion/essay_chernobyl/?GT1=8019 life this week has been one $1 ice cream a day, watching reruns of holland v, which means reaching home before sunset! it felt good leaving immediately after school on tuesday. but my habit of sleeping in the afternoon has returned. i guess it's better than sustaining on purely 3 hrs of sleep per day, but it really rips time from me. and time is something which i desperately need more of- even when ccas are beginning to fade away. today i went for art club for the first time in god knows how long. elections- how quick. i must say it was quite heartening to see some people so humble and with so much passion. i really appreciate the truly humble, guileless people. they might be meek, shy, but there is something about them that sometimes makes me feel ashamed of my outspokenness. but i guess we are all different. anyway, it was probably my second art club attendance of the year, and my second last. found out that next week will be the last time for oldtimers like us. i really regret not developing my interest in art- today mr chia's talk was longwinded and at times inarticulate but he really makes a lot of sense and i respect him because he managed to inspire me. i think it's about time i reshuffled my priorities and start enriching myself all over again. but more of that later. met heather and junxing after that- a rainy afternoon and all of us took the same bus home. realized i missed the second of three ra workshops, which means i have one left to redeem myself, and an overdue article to write- but here's the catch, ra and art are both on wednesday. and next week's art finale will be some german pollen artist exhibition- which sounds way too fun to miss. i suck with committments. anyway, so much can change in one year. and i wish i spent more time with some people- because sometimes when you see them again after so long- so much has gone on without you knowing. like your knowledge of them freezes with your last encounter, and ignorance isnt always a good thing. anyhow my sats are in a week and im hopelessly behind schedule. but i think i can pull through if i try. dance night i will miss- but i hope it will pay off. going for cdc already, and i have to support ray in her co endeavour. oh gosh i have so many things to say- i guess i can never keep it short. but yeah this monday was junyi's bday, and im glad navjote took the initiative- so sweet a friend to have. i hope junyi had fun- it was a surprise gathering at the flag pole, with presents and cake- leslie gave him a cake facial, and i still owe him a present. true that. haha. and i need to get someone else a present too, just to remind her that i care. all of us are growing up. nash's bday will be this saturday- and honestly it's all too quick. some pple i know- their bdays just elude me. rather, we dont bother to find out do we. i guess we cant do all, but i know it wld make all the difference to me if pple actually rmbrd- no matter how obscure an acquaintance you are to me. more on this soon- im looking forward to and cherishing every friendship gathering or moments now. if my ice cream plan pulls through i shld be able to gain some weight. plus im very into the canteen cheng teng- im glad the class is very much in agreement that the western stall sucks anyway and the aunty is super stingy. in the first place- chengteng and western stall dont go, dodos. haha is this biting the hand that feeds me? ahhh. i think i can be conscientious from now on. it wont be easy, but i see myself making better use of time. the computer will be my biggest challenge, but i shall persevere! in terms of televison, other than holland v, no new distractions. im safely resisting so you think you can dance. it's very sad though, that charmed will be ending its run after this season. for real. i only started in season 4, but it has brought me on this amazing journey. i guess it's like just shoot me- they just leave us viewers hanging and kicking and screaming for more. so many dvds i wanna buy. charmed, grey's anatomy, pieces of april, duets. the latter i can get for 2for$30 at borders so i might just use my voucher zomg it just dawned on me! now my lit s is really screwed haha. coem on save me what books what books?! talking more to christine nowadays and i wanna watch more nip/tuck. been reaching school late every single morning- it sucks, esp when the pe teacher gives u a chance and you show up sheepishly the next day in front of her again. plus mac was irritated with the class today o_O rare indeed. i will make it a point not to be late for anything ever again. watch me on this- and stop laughing. it's my grand plan to become a better person overall :] yes i will be more hardworking, enrich myself more, be more concerned about others, be carefree and open in nature, and eat more icecream. jean we have to fulfil our island creamery fantasy soon please. ok and sleep more too. here goes. it's just a ride it's just a ride but dont forget enjoy the ride
10:58 AM
Saturday, April 22, 2006
dare welcome to the planet welcome to existence everyone's here everybody's watching you now everybody waits for you now what happens next? it's barely past 8am and im awake. despite having slept the whole of yesterday away, through dinner and through the night, i like the feeling now. that for once time is seemingly on my side. that i have the whole quiet morning to myself. that instead of feeling wretched abt the waste of time at least im awake now, fully rested, and ready to take on the new week. i ought to feel wretched abt throwing yesterday behind me but i needed that i suppose. i really enjoyed yesterday. to think i was worried that it would take away most of my saturday- well it did, but im not caught up with that now. dragonboating was fun- the mt bunch was a great group to be with. i felt the common spirit surge within us- and it was all in good fun, no real competitive motivation. jumping into the water was hilarious and we just lived for the moment. even ms chen learnt to let go. i thought it was truly a magical time- the ice broke, laughter erupted and water splashed like fire. it felt a little weird being there, intruding on them- after all it was a council camp. that's why junyi didnt wanna be there? but i guess im not one who lets go easily. and you can ask me for my honest opinion on the new structure and i would say obviously housecomm has been swallowed by council. oh bring me to justice for this you rats but yeah come on look at it. my only hope is that the house spirit will just be strong enough to ring throughout. personally im not very sure about school spirit. im very sure we have one, i can feel it in my bones, but if the rationale is to build school spirit through house spirit then how is the new system serving this purpose? will house spirit be something more than an echo or a convenient adhoc inspiration? im not saying it should be the prime motivation, but i really feel it was meant for so much more. im confident this new batch can do wonders with the house spirit though, so it's their stage now. i just hope they're doing it for the right reasons. unlike some of the current batch. it's one whole big irony if you think about it- but then we are pessimists. and i shall strive not to be one. most of the time i dont have an opinion on such things- i tend to remain neutral, but when my heart speaks up there's no stopping it. long live MT! guitar's ex-animo was another highlight. i think it helped me a lot- helped me slow down, even if just for a night, and helped me appreciate the music, and hence appreciating the pple who have been making the music for so long without me cherishing their effort enough. jonathan and alan (with xx) you guys were great. im unimaginably proud of them. and the other nice peeps in guitar too- so many of them- james, joel, weiqi, huankiat, liyi, victor, ronnie, hanlong etc. it was like a little 4d reunion too, what with jermyn and glen and jared helping out too. this also helped me break another barrier, and emceeing with snee was really a joyful learning experience. couldnt have asked for a better one. before i forget, my wardrobe was sponsored by the following: junyi (shoes, coat), my dad (pants, tie), and myself (shirt, socks, belt, underwear). so yes thank you all thank you! im glad i took this up- it was a gamble that paid off :] dreamix will forever be my one true regret this year. regret that i didnt put in more effort into it when i couldve. i admit i was overcommitted to lots of places, but at times i simply adopted the attitude of not giving a damn. and after this experience, esp the day itself, seeing how pple like tetty and diana and enhui were so earnest in pushing for it, i felt bad. i guess i did what i could to help out on that day- walk in sales were fantastic, but then again things cldve been so much better too. but i guess this was a learning experience. when i lost my certificate i didnt really dare to look for it cause i didnt feel i deserved it. it's so weird. when i found it i got excited but that brings us back to why im doing all this- recognition? self-fulfillment? im definitely not altruistic in this respect. i have my flaws and this is one of it. maybe that's why i choose to be a twenty different places at once so that there will always be that chance that i can walk away feeling twenty times fulfilled and accomplished when in reality the more is less. i hope those who went enjoyed themselves. local music does have its perks. i wont forget this. hmm did i mention i received two white slips this week. of course thanks to two peteachers. if i may be bold- yes they seem to be very good at doing this. effortless really. sure it was my fault, but i dont see why some people cannot be more understanding. i will stick by this- skipping assembly and thursday pe is nothing in relation to the bigger working of things, of life. but maybe for some their lives revolve around an occupation that doesnt give enough satisfaction. do not ask me to compare your responsibility to your job to my responsibility to a lesson that allows me to play floorball for 15 mins while the other 45 mins im either waiting for my classmates to change (because they take 20 mins in their own sweet time) or waiting with them while other classes hog the playing ground. it is just not the same and i cant believe i didnt spit and vomit out what i really felt. i do my own health good because i know what im doing. my fitness level isnt a fail, in fact- it has always been a gold till recently when coming in 1 second late gave me a silver. if you are worried you will be letting those trees used to manufacture your white slips die in vain- then hey i can spit out so many names deserving of a whiteslip. but why do i not do that? because i think it's stupid! catching pple for the lamest and most trivial of reasons. i cant believe that the school is wasting resources on such shows of morality. i dont see you taking extra measures on your councillors- some of whom not only have skirts like mini skirts, they have hair that scream highlights, so please please catch me because im a role model turned rebel! so it's my turn to be understanding and yes i will have to accept those two white slips without a word even though they are my first ever two white slips on my otherwise untainted record and i received both of them within 3 days of each other. at the end of the day, it sucks to be you so there's no point in me being angry. i have learnt my lesson, but am thoroughly disappointed with the rationale behind the catching. when i was running with abhi the other day, a certain teacher said to us: "you can run or collapse at home it doesnt matter i dont care it's your own business your parents' business. but you run here, in slippers with pple knowing youre with the school, what would pple say abt us. who will be answerable if you collapse? me!" so yeah it's all about you yeah? whatever happened to the welfare of the students? you people dont even get it clear why you are taking disciplinary action- and that's saddening. chill. if this week has taught me anything, it's the fact that life is so much bigger. you know sometimes ive taken you for granted, but only because i dont see you everyday. and sometimes i look back at all those times spent together and i really miss what we had. you are always the one who laughs, who smiles, who makes others happy. and for once you disappear for real and this has to happen, and i dont know how to feel. it's like, it couldve happened to me, to anyone. i really miss you and all i wanna do is give you a big hug. because that's all i can do, and i feel so useless as a friend, but i guess my words and consolation can only do so much. they do not count for an ounce of sorrow or lost that you're going through. i can only pray that you will live for those who will continue to stay beside you, and know that youre always loved, such that when our time comes we will hopefully be ready to go, and let go. you know sometimes when you wake up in the morning and it's a new day and you felt like yesterday was a bad dream- or rather you wish it was. we always think about what has happened and we get so absorbed that we forget to live for what is now and what is to come. as a friend i hope you will look at what is in front of you, and only draw strength from what has passed- because it's your move now, and we'll always be there for you. i dare you to move i dare you to move i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor i dare you to move i dare you to move like today never happened today never happened before...
5:27 PM
Saturday, April 15, 2006
sanguine i think i like things plain and simple nowadays. nothing else, no frills, just you and me, and the trees. house party was only alright, not spectacular, lots of stuff to improve upon. but i guess, most people had fun, especially those who stayed on. in that sense i must say we did the best we could with circumstances. thank you all who made it possible- my fellow house commers, ms chen, the performers, the emcees, the av pple, kampung istemewa and whoever gave us permission to use the hall and what not. and of course those who actually came for the fun of it, not just the food, which was undeniably good. i hope you guys took away something from it, be it a prize, some laughter, or a new acquaintance from moor tarbet. sometimes things do not have to exceed expectations- they just have to meet expectations, even when expectations weren't there in the first place. for me i had fun, although i was running about clearing up, settling stuff, putting up decor, meeting pple, distributing papadums and cutting watermelons here and there. im thankful to those who helped in one way or another, especially during cleanup. it was a breeze! and later dani james jerry and i went off to macs for some supper/dinner. it was over, but i guess we were more tired than anything. and so one event comes to a close. it wasnt as memorable as it shldve been, but i'll be content with what we had. some pple actually said it was fun and good- i guess its a matter of being willing to have fun. if u came with the intention of leaving after the food, then i suppose the whole thing mustve been a drag :] i keep thinking what all my ccas have prepared/are preparing me for. i think i know what for some, and for others, well, i guess we dont really know what will help us in the future. a lot of my experiences, im thankful to have them. some of them from young have already come in useful thus far, and sometimes of course i wish i did more and learnt more and picked up more, so that i wldnt be so helpless in some areas now. but every little bit that we can do we do. im not gonna force myself but i think i know what i want enough to work towards it. oh yeah today i started SAT prep! which is kinda running against time but better late than never! slowly but steadily. i think i will do and read a little a day, and not let it slip. i think im gonna do that for math too, cuz i have to. speaking of which, common tests have resulted in a BADE lineup, perhaps suggesting i shld bade goodbye to all my other frivolous committments. i promise myself i will shirk off all responsibilities pretty soon and meanwhile im just gonna gear up for that exhausting stretch that lies ahead. im not terribly disappointed with results i guess- partly cuz i know i can do so much better. just needa find the power within me. pw much to my relief was a band 1! and for the whole group too! for the record, huge thanks to shirin, glen and trix for the wonderful moments spent together- short and few, but nonetheless priceless. we really worked so hard towards the end and i think we deserved it :] to all those who didnt get what they wanted im gonna seem hypocritical but yet extremely practical: dont worry, it's only pw. we know in time to come it wldnt matter that much anyway. anw i think i was the only one in class who bothered to thank mrs jai singh. poor woman everyone discredits/blames her! to her defence i shall jump! seriously, i dont get where all that ingratitude is coming from. there is so much cynicism and animosity i feel so bewildered. but then again, best be aloof and zen abt such things. it's amazing how sometimes i seem to be the most explosive in class, and at other times, the most at peace. good friday meant nothing to me religiously. because i have not one to believe in. then again i felt guilty wasting it away like some horrid potato couch that got mashed by my own sloth. woke up at 2pm. watched tv/tapes till 7pm. and then attempted to understand math. today i woke up to the call for lunch- went out to hanabi restaurant and ate hell lot of japanese food on buffet. it was good though. my first try at sashimi too- which i must say was so tasteless and disappointing that im not keen to try it again. then dropped by alan optics again to check my permanent lenses and after bumming around at home went out again for dinner and yes i finally got a proper line. so my number's gonna change and im really gonna miss it and i must say goodbye to all my messages and photos too cuz im gonna change my phone. but like i said- i just want things simple and easy now. i guess this could be a start.
8:30 AM
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
R.E.D. house party is tomorrow and im really excited! a lot of details are a blur to me but im sure things will work out eventually. you know, after tomorrow, our lives in house comm wouldve pretty much come to an end. that makes me very sad. you know watching the j1s go through their campaign speeches in lt4 made us think back on how we did ours in the very same lt just one year ago. and i rmbr that tomato of mine- the big one still on my class noticeboard. and i rmbr james singing and playing the guitar, ajit being his cocky self and leslie talking some crap. but it was all so much fun! who wldve guessed?! and our first meeting at macdonalds, and the voting process at junyi's house. man i dont think we can ever relive those times again. i think ive been taking a lot of moor tarbet stuff for granted without even realizing it. but one thing's true- im gonna look back and smile. because it's truly been an amazing journey. when i went back to tao payoh outside hdb hub i was instantly reminded of the time jerry leslie belicia and i went out to buy stuff while the rest were back in school making small heart badges. i felt i bonded with them a bit more than if i wld have if we stayed in school :] belicia i wont forget either cuz we worked very closely on the banner and i rmbr her accomodating us at her house- we went there to sleep lah hahaha! i guess all that doesnt have to end tmr. we will have fun, hopefully make it the best party ever- and we'll have so much more to take away from it. anyway these past two days- been shopping- alone. it's kinda sad i tell you, but looking back actually rather therapeutic. trooped down to j8 yesterday and yes noone was there to accompany me i wonder how i get myself into situations like these. you know, just wondering aimlessly. but anyhow i found myself in that and walking into shops like mini-toons and looking at cutesy stuff for ms ditzy or whatever was simply weirdd. anw i practically roamed the whole place top to basement, and finally ending it off with a round in ntuc. saw some life there- met mitchell and ongweiqi, who were buying water and apples respectively. i was like -_- now that's what i call weird hahaha. ok but i was obviously the loser cuz i left the entire complex without buying anything- just some notes on the prices. i guess i was walking and walking and now im thinking of that poem which talked abt supermarket shelves. anyway yeah i felt like that. which is i dunno what. i suppose i was suspended in time and it reminded me of those days i had so much time i cld follow my mum to the supermarket. it's crazy i dont even have time for that now! so there i was- soaking it up for all it was worth. tried getting someone to follow me today but noone cld make it. it was meant to be a 2a outing alan! see lah. haha nvm so anw i spent some time helping junyi prep for R.E.D. blew balloons and went round pasting them. cc and jo kindly helped carry chairs back to humz lounge from the pw room. for some strange reason noone is claiming their stuff! except the few who came. grrrr. they have been warned. im gonna absorb everything else i tell you. rushed off to IMM and headed straight for Daiso. coooool stuff there. and all at two bucks so i had a fun time pushing the trawley around and ticking things off my list. i dont think theyre too cheapskate- at least i hope not. all in good fun lah. plus i have some goodies from my dad. so shld be sufficient. i didnt like the bus waits. but as i sat there thinking about nothing, i felt like nothing was there to bother me. and boy did that feel good. all i need now is some good sleep. i like parties. rp party for one, which i forgot to mention in the entry below, yeah it was great! the costume theme "outrageous" worked pretty well and pandan valley saw weirdos from aysuria and jean the japanese school girls to darren and ryand the ninjas, from jerrine and me the wannabe elvises to yilun the afro retro ghetto girl who danced on the table haha. oh and janessa was in this cool red army outfit and it was so intimidating- pple like shumin looked like a japanese clown- so cute! jade came in a bunny outfit gasp! and there was cardcaptor sakura and hawaiin girl and so much more. haha yeah i wish everyone was there- but not everybody could be. it was a night to remember, amidst all the haunted house stress. it gave me great satisfaction to hold it at my place so i really didnt mind cleaning up. we shld party again! yes yes i need lots of parties. but you see, im not sure how much time i have left for myself. i need to discipline myself for SATs. i need to start reading back on math notes, econs stuff too. and history's almost a mess! heart of darkness confuses me. so you see, with college play and guitar concert and rmun and dreamix all coming up, im gonna have to be a fighter for just a little while more. can lah. podium whoring was fun today, no doubt :] and i dont want it to end, not now, not ever.
8:40 AM
Monday, April 10, 2006
perfectly late nights. contemplative. but then again, no enough time to contemplate, although the mood is right. so much has happened, in such a short time, it's almost scary how time is just a concept that we came up with, and how now we are defined by it, subjected to it. no more late nights for me, i hope. and all my pimples subsided today :] this is my 100th entry on blogspot! a cause for celebration, no? well, there are other things to celebrate, i guess. yes, we won raffles trail! haha, i still cant believe it. you know, this means much more than 5 ipod videos. this achievement is smthing that all of us old friends can share and cherish forever. it's somewhat of a culmination of those days spent watching amazing race, be it together or apart. i dont watch the amazing race anymore, not survivor, not the apprentice- reality tv leaves little time for reality- but i still have that warm tingle inside of me when i hear them talk about it, or when i see the ads on the tv. oh how i long to be part of reality tv all over again. funny how it was once such a big part of my life- i breathed it- and now all that's left is my unreliable memory of the old seasons, and my denial to accept that it has moved on without me. somewhat like pokemon. i dont understand all that gold silver platinum trash that's rampaging the market right now. i dont even get the art now. they all look so weird and mutated. i guess we change, huh? make that the biggest understatement. of tonight. jonathan, alan, zhengyi and nash! you guys really kept me going you know that? we kept saying we would win but how many of us really believed it? i dont know i guess a large part of me believe we could but for it to actually come true it was like a dream! and you know what i dont think i celebrated enough that day so yeah here goes im gloating and im boasting and im screaming at the top of my lungs....WHOO HOO. thank you thank you. team 48's the best. thanks for all that running, encouragement, and sweating it out in the middle of orchard road and botanical gardens, mt sinai and raffles place, hdb hub and buckley road. thanks for eating those ration buns and waiting for 156 and drinking ribena together and i dunno just staying together. because, that's what we do, right? and that's what we're gonna keep doing. i think cc's right in saying it speaks a lot abt our bond, our friendship. nobody got us, but we got them. i think we ought to be real proud of ourselves. if there was some kind of recognition, this is it! but yeah meanwhile, just enjoy the damn ipod haha. speaking of which i still dont have mine who has it?! ok distractions on msn and i dont feel like blogging anymore how fickle can i get. raffles trail was something so distant i guess, i got excited at the prospect of it and when i realized how busy i was gonna be the same week i sort of lost a little hope. but it was that hope that kept us going :] anyhow, haunted house was one of the other major highlights. 1938. what started of as a hazy concept- those early days talking to yingsze on the bus, and having meetings in my classroom and in the canteen on a saturday after syf. debating abt whether to go ahead at fish and co, as we cldnt get pac anymore. the av room my gawd. how the hell did we transform it? it shldve taken weeks! but we did it in days! i felt bad for the j1s- their lives changed ever since that meeting on monday, what with the thursday list and datelines to rush and lights and trashbags and oh gosh i dont think i will ever stop associating trashbags with 1938 again. it was just magical! how everything just eased into placed. well, it wasnt easy mind you, but i must say im thankful for everyone who made it easier, in so many ways. you know who you are. the whole of rp, in fact. those who really helped, and at least showed some support. class throwing stuff out was crazy, me yelling was naughty, but it was all worth the trouble, i felt. and for a good cause too, let's not forget. so there, doll's room, office, dressing room, opium room, tunnel, no name room, femme fatale room and dark room. i wont forget any of you. you were just flimsy ideas but you came alive. we did it. rp did it. im proud of ourselves :] good job guys, and thanks a million. i hate it when i ought to be blogging much smoothly but something's getting in my way. and i dont know what. anyway my past two weeks were mainly occupied with these stuff. running about doing sets and props for haunted house, making endless calls, smses, trying to borrow stuff, stealing stuff. the thrill, really. i rmbr the day of rp gm all my ccas wanted a bit of me. as of now i think i know where i stand. i think i know what i want, and what im ready to let go off. frankly, raffles rock has been a burden to me, and ive been a burden to it, too. so yeah, after dreamix, im leaving. there's nothing left for me to do anyway. and i dont exactly like the pple there either. they have the stupidest notions and their way of getting pple to do things is just irksome. you want me to do it you dont bug me unnecessarily. and stop imposing your stupid ideas on me cuz im not doing your bidding like some lap dog of yours. kiss my ass. this is my space, i'll be frank, so you just watch me- and silently. as for art club, argh i dont wanna give it up. but seriously, what have i given it? nothing. i hate that this year they got a real art teacher we can learn from, and im not cherishing this opportunity. nvm, ruth has been too kind to me- i'll have to talk to her again. i like some pple there- i actually miss them. strangely, when i was designing the dreamix programme and the moor tarbet badges, i was suddenly reminded of my desire to just sit there all day and play around with colour and design and what not. i need art. art keeps me alive. but can i do it professionally, or dedicate to it like it's some work or duty or committment? nah i dont think so. i doodle at my own free will- and that's art to me. i'll have it no other way. ra mag has just been beyond my reach. i dont know whats happening now. i guess i dont really bother either. but i actually enjoy it sometimes- so this will have to wait. i think to get what i want i need to work for it. i have for some, for others i havent. obviously i need to prioritize. and when there's too much i think it's about time i acknowledge ive been fooling myself into thinking i could handle all this all at once. i cant. im no super man. i am me. and i wont change for anyone. been a week of good music coming together as well. edwin mccain's i'll be is just irresistibly charming. shakira's hip's dont lie makes you wanna stand up and swing those tootsies. the wreckers' perfectly keeps me grooving and glued to rbc. haha i guess with my ipod i wont be needing rbc that often anymore huh? well well well. but yes good music shld be celebrated! and so should good tv! my tv schedule goes as such now: monday: desperate housewives, grey's anatomy the former's finally picking up to some interesting storyline. i think i like eva longoria a lot more now :]] grey's is just fantastic as ever and i finally understood why sandra oh cld win an acting award when she cried in lats week's episode. and for the record, my favourite character is actually bailey. she keeps snapping and that attitude is adorable, in a weird way. when her friend died, i felt like crying with her too. sigh. tuesday: charmed i cant get enough of this magic. piper piper piper! you make me wanna cry when you look so sad you know that? you charm and mesmerize me all the time, anyway. yes this is a must. wednesday/thursday: american idol finally caught up with tapes. i think paris is cute, kellie slightly irritating, elliot very funny, basically i dont know who to support. i guess they are all likeable now. the music rocks! thursday: lost im kinda lost as to the progress of this. needa watch tapes. but it looks good. better not end on a cliffhanger again or i swear i will kill the producer. so there you go im a diminished tv addict. celebrate! zee's bday! another celebration! i hope we made it special for him, i really do! got him a cake, and a box of presents. i got him foreign film vcds, titles i forgot already, haha, but i hope he enjoys. he's been looking so down i guess raffles trail and his bday perked him up a little. hopefully things will go well for him now. happy 18th boy! oh speaking of which common tests have sucked. haha but im not particularly worried. i should be, but i aint. i know i will work it out somehow. right now my mind is chanting SATs. tons of academic stuff to sort out. did ns registration today. online server is crap but yeah i guess im ready for whatever whenever. you know what was talking to wanqing the other day and we said smthing abt being selfish and you know doing community service- i said im just too busy and self absorbed with my current life that i just dont have time for community work. she said it's normal but i guess if it's normal then it's a very sad world we live in right? but anyhow i am truly busy as hell. haunted house's over but there's still dreamix publicity, shifting gears design, hissoc rmun, guitar mc, and moor tarbet house party to go. then hopefully i will be free :] but then, what would i do? i guess i could start by packing my table. which is a mess. a complete mess, just like my life. im peeved i cldnt join them for iceskating today. hist s got in the way. i have a sudden craving for ice cream and chilling out. jean promised to go with me sometime this week. we shall! it's the little slack segments that i enjoy. i think i need to spend more time with friends soon. roadrunners pppp on saturday after haunted house was a gem. pity not all were there at once. im so thankful for all of them- we must get together for real again :] it's great how we can chat so easily and carefreely. so yeah- im caught in a dilemma- but my academics has been on hold for far too long i think it's about time i become a hermit and start shutting off some doors. i must choose between what's easy and what's right. all in good time, everything should sort itself out. i just know it will. and im gonna let it shine shine shine...meanwhile im gonna regret sleeping this late. till then, im a bone marrow member now! good job everyone who made this week especially orange :] plug: come for R.E.D, Moor Tarbet house party, 13 April. come for guitar concert, 19 April. come for DREAMix, raffles rock concert, 21 April. ask me for tickets! come for Shifting Gears, rp double bill, 19, 20 may. coming soon! this song by Jessica Harp/The Wreckers has been playing in my head since ages ago: I like who I am but I guess you don't I think that I can but you think I won't amount to anything at all If you love me you sure show it strange is there anything that you wouldn't change? I can't be your paper doll I wanna be perfect, but I'm me I wanna be flawless, but you see every little crack, every chip every dent every little mistake I wanna be perfect just like you but there's only so much that a girl can do When I look in the mirror what I see makes sense to me, yeah perfectly I like tennis shoes you like high heels and fantasies but I'm what's real I guess you could say the shoe don't fit maybe I'm from Venus, you're from Mars my imperfections are what they are I guess one of us must deal with it I wanna be perfect, but I'm me I wanna be flawless, but you see every little crack, every chip every dent every little mistake I wanna be perfect just like you but there's only so much that a girl can do When I look in the mirror what I see makes sense to me, yeah perfectly Oh perfectly I tried to fit in the mold that you made but I'm tired of playing this little charade I wanna be perfect, but I'm me I wanna be flawless, but you see every little crack, every chip every dent every little mistake I wanna be perfect just like you but there's only so much that a girl can do When I look in the mirror what I see makes sense to me, yeah perfectly
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