Mot, Myself and Me Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato. Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar
Talk
from exit to exit CREATEUR ALLEY Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing Yesterdays January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009
Saturday, March 25, 2006
doubt is my only faith today was history s talk on some national identity through singapore history. unfortunately it was a big disappointment to pple, and im especially upset that we cldve jolly well gotten in without paying 10 bucks. and although the food was good i cldve done without it cuz ive been eating so much these past few days. been piggin out u know. arghh so yeah so much for waking up early. gavin was very excited though- he was very proud of his CO and insisted we went to see them. anw it was nice seeing some old ri hist teachers around. rushed to navjote's house which was just a walk away. played a little table soccer and then some fifa game on xbox. got trashed 7-0 haha gimme some blood i dont want no balls. was funny watching navjote practise indian flute hahaha. so anw jean and i followed feng to the busstop and trooped down to suntec. bought something at tower records which i cant say yet again. surprise! then we met charles and yeeler and rushed down to jubilee hall just on the dot. doubt was gooooood. shorter than i thought but i really felt it and yeah my verdict is guilty but trying to sms my vote it wldnt get through so maybe it was some divine intervention. really thought provoking i thought the small cast did big things- fantastic- i enjoyed it. kept me awake! it was very nice of them to sit down with the director also to talk to us and answer questions. kewl stuff. isnt drama just enthralling. some of us went to burger king and those losers failed to get me at zhong ji mi ma again mwhahaha. felt sian and went home. jean was good company this whole day so i must thank her. thanks sandra! and now as a tribute to sandra i shall do this blog quiz thingy which would put me at the same level as every other blogger- predictable- but i dont careee. sometimes you learn more about yourself by asking yourself questions: 1. Whats the earliest memory you have of yourself crying? when i fell down and cut my chin with a milo powder can. or when i got lost in some hotel lobby while my entire family went up the lift. or when i kept rubbing my exercise book because i was a perfectionist and the page tore. 2. What time do you wake up in the morning? officially 630am but my dad jolts me at 6am so i can snooze for two 15 minutes intervals. 3. Gold/silver? i feel like a silver because there is something understated about it. 4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? v for vendetta babyy. 5. Fave tv show? just shoot me. currently- grey's anatomy! 6. What do you have for breakfast? usually bread and butter and jam with milo. 7. Who would you like to be left in a room with? someone i like? 8. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no but i can if i pull down my nose just a little. it's all part of the head touching feet soles- body discovering experience :] you never know what you find on your body sometimes. my body is a wonderland people! 9. What are you most afraid of? a lot of times- dying. generally- failing, losing what i have/love. stuff like that. 10. What inspires you? thought provoking stuff- can be a charismatic person, cheem stuff we learn, or music, acting etc. 11. Whats your middle name? i am sam. 12. City, beach or country? on impulse- country. leisure and grass fields and animals and tranquility. peace. frost. 13. Summer or winter? on impulse- summer. sunshine and play and happiness and fun. 14. Buttered, plain or salted popcorn? buttered!!! 15. Fave car? red hot ferrari! 16. Fave sandwich filling? tomato and egg. 17. Fave type of music? pop and proud of it. 18. fave past-time? watching tv. cuz that wld mean im really free, usually. 19. What characteristics do you despise? conceit, hypocrisy, prejudice etc. 20. fave flower? sunflower maybe- bright and happy. 21. If you had a big win in the lottery, how would you wanna spend it all? adopt an endangered species- like a polar bear or panda. materialistic stuff like cds dvds and clothes and books and shoes and gadgets. throw a party and have lots of fun. donate some to charity- im serious. 22. Do you wear pyjamas? yes of course. all the time at home after i bathe. 23. What colour are your eyes? yellow. 24. how many keys are on your key rings? two. 25. what is your fave day of the week? on a monday im waiting on a tuesday im fading on a wednesday i cant sleep - gotta be saturday mostly, or wednesday. 26. red or white wine? red! 27. what did you do for your last birthday? you know what i cant remember. it was a family dinner but i got nice wishes so yeah i was happy. 28. do you carry a donor card? sperm donor? blood donor? what?! i want to be a bone marrow donor- but i dont think i will pledge my organs. 29. say something nice about the person you got this from: jean looks like sandra oh! who is a very good actress! jean is really friendly and happy and good company. 30. who do you least expect to do this? god. 31.what book are you reading now? great expectations. 32.what's your favourite board game? dont know. 33. favourite magazine? cant think of one. 34. favourite smells? pastry, ice cream, my body, rain, fresh fruit, nice book paper, home cooked food, sexy perfume. 35. comfort food? pizza or fried rice. 36. favourite sound? good music, quiet fluttering, rain pattering on umbrella, my voice, book flipping, moans and groans. 37. worst feeling in the world? feeling nothing when there should be something. or feeling everything or empty or irritated at the world, and angry with one's self. knowing one has been cheated or abused or unfairly treated. feeling helpless. feeling cold. 38. what is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? what i dreamt of. what i will have to face. what time issit? 39. favourite fast food place? generally macs. 40. future child's name? contrary to popular belief, will not be mildred or moses! dont tell you. 41. finish this statement: "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, ........" i would give it to pple i take pity on. help others. and splurge on myself and those i know and love. i would make paper cranes with them and earn a guiness book record. mwhaha. 42. do you sleep with stuffed animals? technically i dont sleep with them, hello?! yes a few on the bed :] 43. what would be your first car? red hot sexy ferrari! 44. favourite drink? water, tea, fruit juice. 45. finish this statement, "IF I HAD THE TIME, ....." i would cherish it, and all that happens with it. i would have fun and do things i wldnt normally have the chance to do, and walk away feeling fulfilled. 46. do you eat stems of broccoli? yes and they are yummy. i ruminate like a cow. 47. if you could dye your hair any color, what color would you choose? white. 48.What is under your bed? basketballs and dust and stuff. 49. a note for all: If heaven doesn't exist What will we have missed This life is the best we've ever had - Tonight We Fly, The Divine Comedy
3:58 AM
Friday, March 24, 2006
my friend is a cow ZIING! *walk beside me (: says: usually after you've had a long and really GOOD day.. you don't really want it to end.. and dont want the good feeling to fade and try to keep it going for as long as possible (: today was one heck of a dayy. faustus and mephostophilis was kinda therapeutic in some sense because i really miss doing something like that ok it sounds perverse but yeah i actually enjoy lit! anw the feeling that common tests were over actually sunk in two days before after the history paper on wed. boy was i happy and extremely relieved. it was this big boulder lifted off my chest- i didnt have to lug myself home on a 156 and smell the petrol and aircon- knowing that when i wake up from my bumpy sleep i wld have to stay up till like 4am studying new imperialism and russian rev. it was a crazyy three days but yes so thankful it was only three days. any longer i wldve diedED because i was cramming everything to the day before- barely breathing ive made it through alive! phewwwwww so anw wed was really cool because the class was spontaneous and went to watch v for vendetta! j8 gv counter girl sucks big time cuz she wldnt let jean in without an ic. the movie was nc 16. jean was in rj uniform. need i say more? company policy my foot. hello jean who looks like the amazing sandra oh! sandra yeoh! you say she not 16 you lousy inflexible twerp. later at mrt shumin was stopped cuz she was holding her drink above her chest like she was gonna drink it. she cld only go in if she carried it in a plastic bag below her waist. hello? where do you come from the bushes?! these pple are so bored they have nothing to do! ahhh so anw cine it was and the movie was the bestest the greatest!!!! the action the music the acting the whole feel and colour of it i was in love with it. we all decided to become mini terrorists and bomb up rjc on 8april. wheeeee. okay joke joke. i shall now contend with reading the graphic novel and getting the dvd once it comes out. i was actually more impressed than i thought i was already gonna be so thats how good it was. i crave adrenalin. now i wanna watch x3 and ultraviolettt ok and after that we met up with the date movie peeps and roamed around with angie and her watch and then in taka ate very nice ice cream- whisky and chocolate mint and mmmmm i ate it with apple cinnamon crust it was gastrorgasmic. then then we bummed around a lot i remember with shumin talking abt weird piercings and how we notice certain parts of our anatomy. ahem. enough said. took the long bus ride home. i miss my class already. thursday was so sad cuz i stayed at home. which isnt really sad cuz i got to slack my ass away. i didnt do anything!!!! only cleared my tapes from monday's tv and grey's anatomy just keeps getting better. american idol was cool too- my first proper watch after soooo long. i like bucky. and paris. and mandisa. and chris. i dunno theyre all so good. i think i will support bucky cuz his voice i want! oh i rmbr so u think u can dance now hahahahaha. the black locking girl was the ultimate while isis looked like a tranny and yeah i mean theyre too strict lah wth. i gather the final few must be damn pro i wish i cld dance like that sometimes. song and dance. nash was saying smthing abt them being the best forms of entertainment. i think so too! both audience and performer enjoy you know! and everything's just soo groooovy. oh yeah earlier that day was at theswimming pool for 0.5 hr not swimming but listening to my security guard rant. it was kinda funny though. oh rp party's coming up in pv so im gonna be da host. which excites me. a little. ya'all be outrageous now. i dont even know who im talking to i think all i wanna say is today was the best day ive had in a longg time. ok maybe not the best- cuz there was mtdf ppp and simun and fun stuff in between. but yeah one of the more unforgettable ones and unique ones. i got to catch up with my past :] left house party meeting early with nash and we trooped down to meet jonk and cc at kfc where we ate lunch and erm joined the 1b peeps and made our way to orchard. broke off and steered to metro for some reason past some very nice clothes. toys section- saw some gaming stuff and painkiller was on the com so nash jonk and myself had a go at it! and i must say post cts stresss just came pouring out in the form of massacreing 300 over undead soldiers that came lunging at you from tombstones and strange old ladies that turn into ravens after they die. the bloood! the adrenalin! the rampagee the angst! we werent abt to stop but the com crashed so we left quickly and quietly. mwahahahaha. toysrus. what were we doing there again? i think nash was looking at some gundam stuff but yeah it was nice looking at some of the old games like mastermind and guess who hahaha. and a nice rubber baseball kit. looked so real so wooden. hmmm. heard this funny kiddy song that went: "my friend is a cow i really dont know how no point asking me but it's still good friends with me" it was the most ridiculously hilarious thing i heard all day i kept laughing and laughing hahaha. the tune still rings freshly in my head. gramophone was next and the offers were tempting but i didnt get anything. i think hmv was next and cc was told to get out cuz he was holding a water bottle he obviously wasnt abt to drink from. so he had to leave it with nash. all this while i had my water bottle tucked by the side of my bag. whats wrong with singapore and its unbendable prigs nowadays! anw we just hid the bottle in our bags and went in. i really wanted to buy christine's bday present but decided it was too early. i wld wait. somewhere in between we met nasty i think yes yes and saw sherman also and basically plenty of pple around. small country. anw nasty was really funny cuz she tugged my bag and i was like who's this aunty then i looked closer and lo and behold it's nasty!!!! she looked like 30 wth. haha ok shes gonna kill me but anw she was as funny as ever- ever the same and yeah i kinda miss the j2s back then. sorta invitd her and aparna and the rest along to rp party cuz we realized we didnt give them a farewell. haha! aparna will descend from the block 1 hill to pv lounge and grace our party! anw soon it was bye bye to aunty nasty and boy does she have all the dvds in the world. grrrr. then we went to kino for some reason i cant say just as yet. tried borders then popular then alan joined us. bummed around for quite a while actually. oh cc extravagantly bought spent close to $100 today on a RENT book and Walk the Line soundtrack. i hope he knows what he's doing. they went ahead to sit down and eat i went to sembawang and cdrama to check for any cheap deals. they both sucked. joined them at taka food court, not before i met some of my beloved classmates. sandra yeoh, tritzia narnia, huanna banana and nicole the mole!!! we realized all of us were from different houses. moor tarbet! and i cant believe yeeler shaved his head. what were you thinking!!! haha part of me wished i was kboxing. nash left after that :{ anw after eating, which i didnt, my feet were aching alrdy but we went to the men's bazaar to look at cheap clothes and shoes. i wanna get timberland shoes im gonna drag my mom down cuz i alone = no moola. cheap shirts too but i dunno didntfeel like spending. went to coffee bean and tea leaf and i was hungry so i ordered carrot cake! munchy crunchy creamy yummy and i koped a little of jonk's apple crumble and alan's caramel drink and zee's blueberry cheese. ahhhhhhh it was another round of gastrorgasm. really was in good company there. we just talked like we never did before and its been so long you know we just laughed abt almost everything and the dynamics was soo cool cuz we kept bouncing off each other we knew exactly what joke was coming up and new ones were made cuz we were just all in the right ole jolly mood and cranky spirit i really really laughed like madddd. havent done so for quite a while. there was this strong underlying sense of nostalgia too. oh yeah and we called up some teachers: ms heng, ms grace, jasbir koh and joy lim!!! really fun talking to them they were so friendly and approachable and yeah really glad to know theyre alright. i guess they miss us and really we miss them loads too. they mean so much to us i guess we really wanted them to know how much we still care even though we dont visit often and have seemingly disappeared into our own lives. zee and i were rewriting songs we thought we forgot the lyrics of- like "cheng the christmas tree guarder" hahahaha that was hilarious. "i dont wanna guard no christmas tree!" oh and the guitar pair provided lotsa gossip which is typical of them i mean guitarists are just weeeird. hahaha and cc was very sporting cuz he was the usual butt of some jokes- but all in good spirit :] and i dunno everything felt so right cuz we didnt have proper dinner but we felt full and satisfied i think we completed each other's appetite. even though jonk ordered macpasta and zee got some delifrance thingy. which reminds me jonk for the first time didnt finish a kfc meal. gasp! gasp! pple are changing around here man. hahaha. we talked a lot abt funny stuff going on and how we used to do silly stuff back then- how naive and ignorant we were- but blissful really. potlatch nature's nature. candle macarena dancing. di challenge. five pple sitting around arguing. animal farm and inspector calls. haha silly skits and stuff like that. i mean they were so silly but im really thankful ms kelly gave us that chance to explore and have fun you know? just so much memories from those alone. ahhhh. i think we really took some time reminiscing the greatness that is our past, the glory that will forever be ours and only ours to share and keep. noone can really taint it cuz we lived it and breathed it and saw it through. and thinking back...really shows us how far we've come, you know. i think coffee bean is a good place. we really talk well there and laugh a lot. sometimes i laugh out loud but i feel empty afterwards. today i was cracked up by these few pple and i felt my insides echo the laughter. i loved that i felt the same chemistry pour out like nature's business after all this time. i cant wait for raffles trail. i cant wait for lots of future little gatherings. this is something im confident will not end. we have our silly times but we get over it. it was close to 10 by the time i reached mt elizabeth. got lost, haha. the dark you see- timelessness was felt in that cafe. i didnt feel sad when we had to leave. i know we will do this again. good news at the hospital means everyone can live again. im so thankful. thank you for today. thank you all.
8:11 AM
Saturday, March 18, 2006
till the world caves in it's amazing how things just turn out fine in the end. gavin was telling me on msn earlier on how things always eventually work out- and i mean, how true. maybe not everything- some things never change, some things turn out for the worse- but i do believe everything happens for a reason. and i dont know who's orchestrating all of this- i dont have anything to believe in- but i can start by believing in myself and doing what i do best, i guess, and that is moving on. simun was a gratifying experience. i didnt waste 3 days after all, even though at times many of us were seriously bored to tears. but you know, i always thought i knew mun, but this was my first time as a delegate and i learnt so much so much more. i got excited about debates, although i wasnt terribly outspoken, but i guess i did what i could, and maintained positive. it was fun, i enjoyed the company and the new pple i met. very nice pple from schools like ijc, this queen latifah haha and yeah some others from the indian schools i wasnt close to but felt they did great- so earnest and so hardworking- man i felt guilty. the j1s in my committee (ang lip, sneha the egyptian queen & kim jiong teddy who had a photo fixation -_-) were good, real proud of them somehow. and the rest of the j1s were also on top of the game. my fellow j2s i know were excellent in more ways than one and i wish i was in the same comm as at least one of them but having lunch with them and hanging out during ga was good enough for me. the food was good, btw, and the french school is niceeeee. for many reasons. haha. but yeah, it's over, just like that. no more excuses. it's just me and the books. firstly no kudos whatsoever to those who ponned ok. so disappointed in them, but who am i to judge i guess, given that i was considering doing the same the night before thursday. ahhh. i was actually looking forward to the second day you know. so yeah. it took away a great deal of my time but i took away a lot more. im ready for a lot more things now i feel. it's that kind of feeling which makes it magical. anw back to commons. realized today that everything will pretty much be over in 3 days, since pc on friday doesnt warrant any studying. but you see, being the superstitious me it's obvious that from the way im speaking and the very fact that im blogging right now shows how much importance and effort im actually giving cts. there is this strange calm. in the bath my heart raced pretty fast cuz i was thinking of finishing everything and i dunno that just made me feel all lost. but i guess i need to sit back and look at the big picture. im gonna go in and 'bang', as shumin said. yeah, im gonna take this as a chance to guage where i stand. no competition on my part. no kiasuism. no worrying too much. just gonna go and sit and relax and do. i mean, at this point, i cant be bothered already. not that im giving up, mark my words- i just, cant find it within me. i know i will pick up from after this, but for now, im gonna excuse myself, and for reasons i believe are legitimate enough, and see how far i can go. mhmm. i must say navjote is amazing. that guy actually zoned in on his target on the first day, and successfully secured a number before today ended. it was brilliance i tell you, haha and very entertaining i might add. sitting beside him during ga meant i got all the gushing and saw him work his way up from note passing and eye gazing. hahahahaha. ok navjote you rockk. thanks weeshu mini for calling me a 'ninny' because that sort of jolted me to stop whining and yes i regret being so reluctant abt it. simun was swell. i enjoyed so much of it, from the idiosyncratic securitaries to the note passing to the food to the intellectual intercourse. man, i was exhausted but really pleased. press corps cldve done so much better, bad english and all, but yes jon and joyce you guys were fab. somehow i felt this affinity with press you know, given my mun history and all haha. ahhh i think i shall pick up french soon. see there are just so many things i wanna do. ive got my post cts list out alrdy. mostly not leisure stuff i assure you. from haunted house to design to publicity to sats. so yeah, im gonna keep going and i think this week has been one of uncertainty in my life but i will start the new one much stronger and readier to accept new challenges. in a way this has been very enriching a holiday, acad aside. oh yeah jason mraz was tops btw. he's one of the greatest live singers around- the way he reinvents each song and reaches those notes, whoahhh- you get surprised everytime i tell you. and he can just improvise on the spot and keep going shows you how versatile and talented he is. i ought to get his albums- yepyep. thanks jonk for the company. i cld tell you were suitably star-struck. too bad we were too far away huh. saw some rj peeps around. i see school everywhere sometimes, sometimes i dont know how to separate life and school. what is life? thanks to alan for the nice msn convo we had. a short one, about i forgot what, but i still felt very cosy talking to him so yeahh. catch up soon! gavin, you amaze me with the depth you can have at times when we are sighing and willowy. sigh...haha. oh and shaun! cabrera's exit to exit has been keeping me alive every night before i sleep. yes radioblogclub i love because everyday i discover new songs. today i discovered this one. and omg the lyrics speak volumes. i guess you guys take it away with you and till next time, i'll be much freer. freedom forever! (p.s. i got my v for vendetta from kino at last!) The Blues by Switchfoot Is this the New Year or just another night? Is this the new fear or just another fright? Is this the new tear or just another desperation? Is this the finger or just another fist? Is this the kingdom or just a hit n' miss? I miss direction, most in all this desperation Is this what they call freedom? Is this what you call pain? Is this what they call discontented fame? It'll be a day like this one When the world caves in When the world caves in When the world caves in I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass From broken hearts and broken noses in the back Is this the New Year or just another desperation? You push until you're shoving You bend until you break Do you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay? It'll be a day like this one When the world caves in When the world caves in When the world caves in When the world caves in When the world caves in When the world caves in Is nothing here worth saving? Is no one here at all? Is there any net left that could break our fall? It'll be a day like this one When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are found Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard? Have you been throwing down this broken house of cards? It'll be a day like this one When the world caves in When the world caves in When the world caves in Is there nothing left now? Nothing left to sing Are there any left who haven't kissed the enemy? Is this the New Year or just another desperation? Does justice never find you? Do the wicked never lose? Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues? And nothing is okay Till the world caves in Till the world caves in Till the world caves in Till the world caves in Till the world caves in Until the world caves in Until the world caves in Until the world caves in Until the world caves in Until the world caves in
7:26 AM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
in the deep im only blogging cuz there is no one else to talk to at this very moment. a moment that has lasted most of the night or day. i woke up from a somewhat nightmare and elements of it actually surfaced in the morning. i thought i was certain dreams were made of the past but this time round it seemed like some sort of vision. i look back and i can say i was really really happy. contact lenses have been great, btw. the weekend before 02 i was feeling like crap. ultimate crap. i didnt feel like doing anything at all. i was telling myself and everyone that 02 was the biggest waste of time what was i doing pledging one whole day to it. im glad i was wrong, you know. meta;fyr and jean made it all worthwhile. so did the other ogls and i dunno just the stuff that we did, dancing and singing and all- just made me feel young again and brought me back to the honeymoon period. og dinner and hanging out at the playground was one night i will never forget. thanks so much to them- they really made my day, you know?although i lost my temper when i got home cuz i felt giddy and nauseous, on top of the very fact that loads of work was still undone, i slept reasonably well. watched goodbye lenin for the last few lessons of gp and it reminded me why i shld go and watch all foreign films. they're good, really! goodbye lenin was just so bittersweet i didnt know how to feel. something abt its subtlety took my breath away. i will never forget it. i learnt to laugh and cry at the same time. i learnt it was possible. gp exam was bleah. not gonna talk about it. just glad that doing ww essay before that helped me, a little bit. then it was fish & co at night. honestly i was pissed off as i left because denise indirectly caused me to leave late. i was really frustrated. but i got there early and well had a good time. food was good, music was good, even though service and seats sucked. but yeah we had fun i guess i dunno why the crowd was so freaking subdued but i thought the peeps like trish did a great job so yeah hurray. it's ironic that it's bmdp. only i will know why, i guess. but yeah- im gonna pledge myself when they come on april8. i think i owe it that much. you know what, im already happier. i know after i stop typing im gonna become mopey and all again i dont wanna be but yeah im gonna. so maybe i shld sleep or smthing i dunno. wasting the next 3 days of my life isnt cool at all. i feel like pulling out real badly but i know i cant so what? make the best of it? i cant stand it! i dont want in at all i want out! argh!!! i just wasted the whole night doing simun stuff and reading up on protocol nonsense shit when cts are less than a week away. i know im gonna flunk it if not most of it. so yeah. i dont even know why i can be so calm sometimes but yeah im not now cuz i hate it. it's digusting i tell you. i dont even feel like typing about ppp because all this negative energy just spoils the mood. i dont wanna taint it. but yes i shall. i have to. PPP was swell. seeing all the mtdf peeps again was a great treat for me cuz i really miss all of them and i really mean all of them. tennis and table tennis was fun. we got all sweaty and thirsty and tired it was such a great warmup. sicc is kewl. snee's house is the best. cabbing there was a joke cuz of our very weird cab driver who kept suanning jonk. had dinner at the rooftop garden and chatted and laughed our lives away because we wanted to and we could. it was so great that we could all connect so well and i dunno i just felt suspended in time. we bummed around watching tv later, bewitched, and played zhongjimima and 99. the forfeits were really funny and i thought everyone was really sporting so yeah no shame no gain yeah. pity some had to leave early. we watched brokeback mountain past midnight- which was a very bad idea cuz most of us dozed off at some point or another. but it was a nice, simple film. i thought the acting was goood. later we all cuddled up in snee's sister's room and just chatted our sleepyheards away. first with light, then in the dark. matthew the mutton was sleeping outside cuz he had odac the next day. haha i never saw him again. anw yes we were singing and talking and crapping and basically just i dunno, relaxing, despite most of us sniffling and desperate for some sleep. i just cldnt sleep you know. i wanted to talk so badly. so much. im glad we were that fun a bunch to be with together. somehow we dozed off. next morning was sluggish, some pple like george having disappeared too and we contenting ourselves with a few more episodes of bewitched, courtesy of gavin. bummed around somemore and looked at mtdf photos. snuggled up in snee's room in the afternoon and listened and danced to music, whilst talking and laughing even more. gavin took a bath but soon left. george returned later just in time to watch crash!!! so yeah we crashed and it was simply amazing. the plot and acting and the song in the deep omg. i was on the verge of crying actually. but i cldnt. see im coldhearted nowadays. after that we sorta agreed it was time to go. to walk away. looking back i really miss mtdf ppp, and even more so, mtdf itself, and the pple. i wanna have ppp again. and we will, for all those who cldnt make it this time round. ppp2!!! i appreciate the genuine friendships forged. i cherish all the times we had together. i love how we cld be so free and easy with each other, how we enjoy our own company. i felt stronger that day- i felt i cld face up to the next two weeks. mtdf you rockk. this will not be the end i promise we cannot let it... here i am. i did frost essay till 5am before sicc btw. so my workload is currently lits and ct mugging. for the moment. acad wise- only. i ought to be doing hh proposal now, js dont kill me. but i feel immensely strangled i need to breathe and i figured if i cant talk i might as well blog. i slept the whole monday away. did class page at last. i love it. proud of stuff i just pull off on the spot. i hope everyone likes it. tuesday was spent at syf. vadi's a great fun guy to be around. buying tapes and macs food was therapeutic somehow. i felt a little cheated we werent just filming but we got down to it in the end. i appreciated the little things we had to do. the walks we took. so gangsters we were. i hope jo and shumin persevere yeah? you'll be delicious. go get a gold with honours. interview workshop at gic wasnt that bad, thankfully. my mentor was really nice and gave really useful advice. so much for thinking the worse of it. trix and rachel were nice company to have as well. anw i guess a lot of things like o2 and gic and mindef have taught me to cherish whatever comes my way, no matter how detestful they might seem at first. so you know what, simun. im gonna come at you with all ive got, and you're gonna bring it on. you're gonna show me why im letting 3 days go. i shall be zen about this from now on. my dad's right. no point griping abt it if i cant pull out. i cld be so happy. just felt so lost just now, sigh. been stuck on math. its irritating to learn how much ive been missing. i swear to myself, for my own good, and for my parents who believe in me, that i will work extra hard after common tests and focus on my studies. i cannot let anyone down. i will do it. i will juggle my ccas too. im gonna survive this crazy phase, or year, what have you. im living in a nightmare, a never ending sleep common tests can be my stumble. but that's all im gonna allow myself, and even so im not going down without a fight. after all this shit, despite the nonstop flood of emails and stuff, im gonna watch V for Vendetta and feel complete. i will make it a point to use my book vouchers too. im feeling tired now. tomorrow will be a better day. p.s. thank you shibani. and just found out that turbz the frost and xtine are in pakistan too. you guys made my night by just being there, you know. Thought you had all the answers to rest your heart upon but something happens don't see it coming, now you can't stop yourself now you're out there swimming in the deep Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles till you let go till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven and you throw yourself off now you're out there spinning in the deep
6:26 AM
Thursday, March 02, 2006
our lives shaun... NOTARK placed the stars in the sky says: doesnt matter which tree any tree! shaun... NOTARK placed the stars in the sky says: every tree im gradually slipping into the nocturnal mode, yet again. i figured out today that when im alone my thoughts just wonder off and i go into this daze. i tried doing gp essay in school today at 5pm. wrote a sentence, went home, and proud to say i just finished it, past 12am. i can say im rather piqued at myself for being so inefficient and easily distracted but i just dont know what to do. was saying in school im so much better because there are pple all around me. so much reason for happiness and laughter. but back home i feel this emptiness at the end of it all. i think loneliness gets to us all. yingsze confessed to withdrawal symptoms today- stoning around, not doing work and all. common tests just feel so close its like a dream that cannot come true. oh but it will. i will not allow myself to slip into that academic mania and what not. a level results yesterday overwhelmed me. i need to keep my head above the tide and just breatheee. i cannot make it my life. i cannot become this ball of stress. on a lighter note, never the sinner was good fun! was on the saturday after df. speaking of which it has been one week already- time cheats. anw i wasnt expecting to be impressed or anything (or even understand everything) but this play was really accessible and dark and twisted and clever and moving it was just this riveting watch of suspense i was really really pleased after that. put me in such a good mood despite rolly essay and what not- which i conquered in one sunday thank goodness. so yeah i felt the relationship btwn leopold and loeb really held it all together and made the unbelievable believable. mcconnell was superb as the lawyer and so was his wife, maureen. i was totally absorbed by the courtroom scenes and gosh the line "hate the sin but never the sinner" really rang echoes hours after the whole thing was over. i think i walked away enlightened, which is really a good thing for a play to achieve. so much for dramafeste. we have so much to learn from :] anw a few of us walked along clarke quay eating ice cream and enjoying the night scenery. we must sit by the river and sing patriotic songs again. its just so silly but carefree that if we dont do it anytime soon again we might never get the chance to. maybe next year we shall all get drunk and jump in and swim back to china and mongolia. my heart did time in siberia. dirty jokes on the pub screen was hilarious, and the bungee thingy made me want to do smthing real big for my birthday. im gonna try something new, so yeah we shall see what :] christine we have to do all that again. strawberry cheescake and chocolate fudge caramel was way sweet btw. i am reminded of a slew of lame jokes i kick started during df rhrsals. the class soon picked up on it and we're planning to publish this! copyrighted, so dont you dare kope. if i were a disease, i would be: tuberculosis. because i make you breathless. (cough out blood, shumin says) small pox. then i would be all over you. (chicken pox too) athlete's foot. then i would be under you. stomach flu. because i give you butterflies. dandruff. because im all the pieces of you. rickets. i make you go weak in the knees. jaundice. for i like to stain you (yellow). erectile dysfunction. i make you go limp. my memory fails me. i cant remember the many others, haha. anyway, see what i mean. we have such good time together. people should never spend any moment apart. i need youuuu. mrs perry, we love you, we really do. this woman warrior is still coming to class tomorrow. "love is proved in the letting go" felt like such an ugly person today- but if only others were less ugly. never felt so worked up at someone else for a long time. but i guess i shall just let be unless the time calls for us to let it all out and put things in place. not gonna do math now, just gonna sleep this night away and wake up to a better day. and then maybe, the weekend will just help push me along. and that's how i will move on. on good advice, im gonna learn how to smile instead of sigh, and appreciate every tree. this song rocks. our lives rock. Is there love, tonight When everyone's dreaming Of a better life In this world Divided by fear We've got to believe that There's a reason we're here Yeah, there's a reason we're here... Oh, yeah... Cause these are the days worth living These are the years we're given And these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives... See the truth, all around Our faith can be broken Our hands can be bound But open our hearts And fill up the emptiness With nothing to stop us Is it not worth the risk? Yeah, is it not worth the risk?... No, yeah... Cause these are the days worth living These are the years we're given And these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives... And even if hope was shattered I know it wouldn't matter Cause these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives... We can't go on Thinking it's wrong to speak our minds I've got to let out what's inside... Is there love, tonight When everyone's dreaming Can we get it right? Yeah, can we get it right?... Cause these are the days worth living These are the years we're given And these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives... And even if hope was shattered I know it wouldn't matter Cause these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives... Oh, yeah, let's make the best out of our lives... Oh, yeah, let's make the best out of our lives...
9:15 AM
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