Mot, Myself and Me Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato. Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006
old sport yo just a quickie today four girls made my day. haha. HUGE thanks to JEAN, TRIX, ELLY, & ANGIE for possibly the bestest gift in a long time: BONNIE MCKEE's TROUBLE :] been wanting it since sec 4 and it just popped up today. made my day, my week, and they even shipped it in! awww. you dont know how grateful i am. it's the last proper week of school and i really feel time slipping by i need it to stop, but all i can do is pathetically tag along and make do with my lethargy and constant proclivity to be distracted by the likes of Rockstar Supernova and what not. i just have this sudden extreme fondness for our teachers you know, esp ms lo, ms lui and mr kwok, since they usually get sidelined in our enthusiasm for teachers. im gonna miss them so much. sigh. spent the whole of last week doing up a portfolio which was good reflection. thanks to all who helped and great appreciation to an ever supportive house mistress, ms chen. friday's spontaneous thingum with stef mark and xtine the cat made my week end on a splendid intimate note. the world was ours. saturday was liquid kitchen for the 280888 babies and i wish them all the best and eternal felicity from the bottom of the heart (of darkness)- oh shut it. yes it was fun cutting my hair, dressing up as a pimp, buying body shop mix&match perfume (and that tummy trimmer) for them with the other guys and seeing all the people in pyjamas and silly things. i just wished it lasted longer. i think i might just be done with HOMEWORK. that means mug you toad. and this will be what i leave you with. great gatsby calls for me so i will return to its american bosom. i wish everyone all the best and may the powers that be see me through this crazy period. love you in that baby.
8:58 AM
Monday, August 07, 2006
supermassive blackhole wow august already. so time really does fly. in a matter of weeks we'll be coming to school in the afternoons, staying up through the night cramming last minute stuff, having morning butterflies in the tummy, and writing till our hands ache. and then that anticipation, even before it begins, just before it starts, that youre over and done with it and all the things you could do. and then the anticlimax. but if there's one thing to motivate me, it'll have to be the results. and i cannot stress how impt this is to me and to many people whom i dont wanna let down. today shib was telling me prelims dont matter for me, but i said it does, not so much cuz im considering applying this year, but cuz it's my leaving exam for this school, for raffles as a whole, and i tell myself- i owe it as much to six years of grooming and invaluable lessons to get a good list of grades. there's always a reason why i take long breaks. sometimes my body just says no. sometimes i just dont feel like it. but so many things have happened over the past two weeks, and in a sense, has changed my approach to life in general. the detachment from the computer due to its crashing for a millionth time, hence costing me all my valuable us and drama photos, and god knows what other stuff, was actually perhaps a blessing in disguise. ive learnt to relinquish my overdependence on it. falling sick for the first time in a long while has reminded me that im not invincible, and i cannot afford to take stupid risks with my health any more. simply because health, or life, so to speak, is possibly the most important thing we have and should cherish. and that brings me to that. well, i still can't believe it happened. just like that. on the phone. how was i supposed to react. you know that day with the three red cars in a row? christopher boone lied. it wasnt a super good day, by any measure. i guessed it didnt really hit me how much i could miss someone until that last morning when i just let the tears flow and all the memories came flooding back. it's strange- you really fail to cherish when time is on your side. "dont it always seem to go, when you dont know what youve got till its gone" but it wasnt the first time i lost control that week. on my bed too, the evening, after which i tried to sleep off my headache. then at jefferey goh's 7-UPs talk, which was by far the best talk ive ever been too- i laughed so much but when he talked about loving your parents i just realized there's still time with them and there's so much i need to say to them and do for them, and i can, and i really want to. it's just that sometime's it's so hard, you know. but really, he reminded me of my family, how he spoke of the olden days and how we're so lucky now. you people dont know how much your parents love you, how much they would do for you. really, what they do for you, you can never do as much for them in return. ive come to realize that i like my cousins a lot. and i really hope that we grow up together and stay in touch. all those silly catching games, parties, spoof videos, hopskotch, hide and seek, performances...all of that, well, will possibly never happen again, and a little part of me dies inside knowing that i cannot turn back the clock (god knows how many parts have died), but i really hope that the future is ours to shape and stay close. but only time will tell. i appreciate bonding with people, did i say? sometimes i wonder what's the use of the occasional msn chat, the wave from a distance, and the casual formalities on the way. all the people i meet everyday, what do i mean to them, and them to me, really. when the time passes, what will we mean to each other, and how will we look at each other the same, after the world around us morphs into another stage of our lives. i truly think that while we live for the company, and the company keeps us alive, we really do exist alone. you know back in those ri days, i actually thought that what i had would go on forever. well, it certainly did seem like it would back then. nothing to worry about, except the books, which in retrospect, was really a speck of dust- and seemingly all the time in the world to pursue so much other stuff i could have done, but did not. i know i will always look back in regret, but i cannot help but say those were in many ways the best four years of my life. i grew into a better person in those four years, just as im trying to grow into a better person each day. and i think, that just perhaps, ive grown a great deal in the past two weeks too. for now im gonna crawl into this supermassive blackhole and disappear for a while. till then i will always remember, and honour, and live it for what it's worth.
9:06 AM
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