I HATE IT WHEN BLOGGER THINKS IT'S OK TO KEEP DELETING THE BOTTOM HALF OF MY ENTRIES. GOD DAMMIT.

so yes i forgot what's supposed to come in after this. something about how i love this long weekend blah blah blah and how im gonna make the best of it and this will be the beginning of a new day for me when i will wake up later and swim away my wordly worries. and i will try my utmost to make liy's audition next week in hopes of finding fun and possibly fufillment. at the very least i will have nothing to lose by taking the first step in a very long time towards the stage again. and then i had a lot more to say but blogger decided to be a bitch so here i am sounding like an incoherent fool because my memory really isnt that good and who wants to listen to me ramble when they have youtube and facebook anyway. argh. see lah. mood totally ruined. i am only the blanket because someone poured dirty water on me.

ok anw i picked up the book back when we were grownups which i really loved as a movie so hopefully i will be able to feel as much about it as i did before. it's almost impossible, you know, experiencing the same kinda emotions again after so long. but sometimes it happens. ok it's all coming back to me now. memory retrieving data slowly but surely. but you see im too lazy to craft them words all over again. so im just gonna summarize by declaring that i do like watching movies alone at home sometimes because then i can be truly honest with my emotions and not be affected by other people's opinions or reactions. it's only then that i can truly immerse myself in the nuances of the show. and then when im done with it i can only wish that i can recreate that kinda magic with whatever little talent and capacity i possess.

sigh. this being the easter holiday i will ironically lose the religion that i never had. because i think life's too short to compromise whatever time i have with the things that i do not enjoy doing. unless i dont have a choice of course. but for this i do. and to be honest ive never been a fan of religion, especially not after unnecessary evangelism that verges on inexplicable indulgence. i do not appreciate having beliefs imposed upon me, and how can one possibly know that what makes life better for him will necessarily do me the same good? it's preposterous! it's not even advice based on personal experience. it's like oh youre sick like all the rest of them unwashed masses so you need this medicine to cure you and make you come to your senses. bloody xmen antidote. except the injection's in the form of joining the ranks of what might possibly be the biggest mother hoax of all and buying the albums of a talent-less skank and fuelling her contrived career in the entertainment industry that honestly doesnt need another gimmick to pollute its integrity. but hell, i cant be bothered, and for the sake of my good friends who are self-respecting in their faiths, i will let it be right about now.

cant wait for timbre with victor and the guys. and cant wait for a new day to do things my own way. i can do it, not always alone, but i know i can.