otamot

Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato.

Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar

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Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing

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Sunday, September 24, 2006
smilerp

movies i have watched since the end of prelims:

the devil wears prada
hide and seek
losing isaiah
lackawanna blues
the brooke ellyson story
a lot like love

and that's vegetating before the tv for you.

it's always an anti-climax isnt it? that's the problem. like you cannot fully enjoy it until it's too late. i dont think i will ever feel completely free until i get back the results next year. ultimately everything boils down to the results, if you think about it.

but but im really not gonna worry my life away like that. it has after all been an accomplishment, surviving the late nights and crazy last minute cramming, day after day, stress levels hitting all time highs, and those lonesome nights when you just feel like jumping...

the weeks leading up to prelims were probably screaming out for me to start even the teeniest bit of revision, but procrastination for the better of me, again. i cannot emphasize how much that bothers me. but it's all one. ultimately i had to pay the price. but sometimes you feel the knots in your tummy and you cant help but hate yourself and think: what the hell were you doing for the past few weeks?!

rock star: supernova!

the best weekly entertainment in the longest time. really much more to look forward to than the idol franchise that's for sure. anw lukas won and well i guess it was a blind choice right from the start, but that's the way things go in the industry i suppose. dilana will go far and so will the good ones like storm and ryan and magni...they really didnt need the band!

but here's to weeks upon weeks of solid rock and hard thumping euphoria. i was a fan i tell you, a fan of them all. and at the end of the day, who doesnt love brooke burke? haha. here's to an amazing season and hopefully another smashin' one to come! QUEEN please!!!

anw that was like midway through prelims, and the going was tough! i must say it has been the toughest mugging spree ive ever been on, and yes i was warned, but i had no idea. my ability to focus is terrible. i stand up every 5 minutes for the toilet or more water or to flip through the papers. in a good way i had tons of water in my system the whole day, and i did not fall back on my knowledge of the world. but oh the temptations all around me. the tv and the computer. two greates evils when it comes to studying. i managed to starve off the com with much success, so pat on the back for that. as for tv, well i also kept it to rockstar so kudos to me for that too. but i was going crazy. although, if you think about it, i kinda grew out of my dependency on the com and tele such that it really didnt matter. but knowing that and facing the cruel books are two different things that should never go together for the sake of sanity. i cannot stand silence very well, so thank god for the radio!

announcing my two latest radio conquests!
haha with much humility i won

1) a rock star: supernova goodie bag from starworld, which had more starworld stuff than rockstar stuff but still cool! i was supposedly put into a draw for tickets to the finale in LA but that didnt work out in the end, or i wldve flown my ass over and hecked prelims. you bet. so for this, happy twelfth birthday power 98!!!!

2) a $100 scissor sisters cd hamper :] i must admit to betraying power 98 here. on a night of boredom i switched over to 987 and played shan wee's game of categories, which were things you can cut, magic, and types of dance. won the last two and thus making this by far my most challenging radio endeavour by far. i dont think i was ever made to compete with another person on air for a prize...but i cldnt let this one go, and i didnt! so yay me. the girl i competed with was great though, and i only won by a really close shave. a little worrying that they havent gotten back to me on the prize yet though. like i said, not my territory. but can we get a 'hell yeah"?!

so anyway that gave me drive to 'press on' as mrs perry might say. at this point i really wanna thank her for her encouragement. it's really only prelims- and im gonna try to take the results, whatever they may be, with stride and work on whatever needs to be worked on. 'no whinging' as mr reeves would say, and yes im just gonna try to get an early start and not repeat the mad rush that left me peeing in my pants. figuratively, i suppose.

tuning in to the radio during exam period would mean those songs will for a good time be associated with exam aid songs. in sec 3 my exam aid playlist was michelle branch's hotel paper. in sec 4 it was ashlee's autobiography. last year it was songs like crow's good is good, switchfoot stars etc. this year's list goes something like that, which would be familiar to the initiated:

- london bridge, fergie
- tokyo drift, teriyaki boys
- too little too late, jojo
- dont feel like dancing, scissor sisters
- sexy back, justin timberlake
- smile, lily allen
- you and your hand, pink
- call me when you're sober, evanescence
- hate me, blue october
- boston, augustana
blah blah blah

i actually wanted to do a run down of all the subjects and how i somehow magnificently pulled through (though how well remains to be seen), but im lazy and some things are better left unsaid.

history ass was like an ant that wouldnt go away. when it finally did on friday, i was kinda sad actually. but extremely relieved initially. rolly said: "i know that's your last paper...for NOW" which really made me wanna enjoy myself as much as i can now. then he showed us euro hist results, which was really gratifying for a group effort...all As and Bs! i got a bee, but i guess i cannot be greedy. i dont deserve much for a last minute effort anyway. and yes, everything happens for a reason. that dulled my mood for a while but the classmates made me happy. thank you.

on a happy note i actually opened my ipod! VERY belated i know. since april you know.
obviously the marlow in me has been yelling: RESTRAINT. but not anymore!!!
meet mot joe black people!
now i can be happy all the time, because music is my escape for a good 90% of the time.
and people and other stuff make up 10% of the time.

but if ive learnt anything in this past few weeks, or years even, especially after watching shows like brooke ellyson and lackawanna...its that miracles happen to us all the time- we just have to look for them in the people around us, and we can find them there. and i guess these people might change- the groups you socialize with shift over time, maybe because you change as aperson too, but at the end of the day, we are never alone (i would like to think). never is a big word, but we really must NEVER take anyone for granted, especially our parents, i feel.

argh everyone just go watch brooke ellyson and lackawanna!

sometimes i watch stuff and feel that i just got a life changing deal...but then inertia takes over and i feel horribly inadequate at controlling my own life. but this is my life and i know i can change it! i just have to stop blogging about it. bleah.

anyway, if anybody has watched Contact, the jodie foster one, i shld think i wld wanna travel for 18 hours out into space and understand that we are but bacteria compared to the rest of the universe. and i want my mind enlarged, like the russian harlequin (not by trivial human charisma, but by the beauty of the world beyond us) , and i need to know just what is out there, and that there is after all, no faith but one in humanity and in the universe as a cosmic entity.

and i will be in constant search for what i know is the truth.

and you cannot sit there and feel you know more than me, because it doesnt bother me what insecurities you have.

and for some i just need to know why because i understand the goodness in you.

and for once, then, something!

gosh i really need to do an ipod commercial with my silhouette now! i must say that i have developed rockstar tendencies over the past few weeks.

i think one day i will finally rid myself of the bitter taste that lingers in my very being. but now i feel that i know what so many pple just cannot ever know. and i know it's true.
and all i need is to be loved.

on a last note, i hope i dont have body dysmorphic disorder, but symptoms are indicating otherwise.

this had ended on a totally off note. i know. tomorrow will be a better day.

9:22 AM