otamot

Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato.

Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar

CREATEUR ALLEY

Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing

January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009

Saturday, July 15, 2006
light up, light up

yeeler was saying how he saw so many beautiful people at some mrt once. when i see beautiful people, i want to crumple up my face. envy equals vice.

felt horrible for forgetting glenc's bday. if youre reading glen, happy belated birthday! i look back and wonder what happened to the class that was four dee. oh i miss it. on top of so many other things.

this week was an outdoors week for me. cousin shan's bday at blooies and then pirates of the caribbean on tuesday! people, pirates is now officially one of my favourite movies of all time. i was never more entertained in my life, and caught up with all the mystery and ancien mariner-ish intrigue that is dead man's chest. johnny depp is probably one of my fav actors cuz he's super talented and yet always humble. keira and orlando = outrageously beautiful people, but i forgive them cuz it wldnt have been the same without them- so much depth added since the first instalment. anw now i really wanna be a pirate! the best way to experience pirates is to watch it- and im gonna watch it again once i get my free pass: cathay cineplex hall 3 which i was in had a major tech screwup which made us wait more than one freaking hour for the movie to resume. so yeah im getting a free pass. and another one for movie of my choice. i win! im a winner.

wednesday was cc's bday and pity we didnt celebrate it but the outing's coming soon. gave him jewel's newest cd. i actually really enjoyed giving that present particularly. writing the card made me realize i have a million gazillion things to tell everyone before i leave school and never see some of them again. oh the misery. "miserable age" (shut up bosola)

oh yeah which reminds me i spent sunday at borders! it was the best thing to do- having that extra money to buy what i wanted. landed myself with a super deal i felt- dvds got me a twenty percent off the books. yay me! now i will have no problem passing my time- or rather, making full use of it. my grapes of wrath has the nicest papery feel ive felt in ages. it smells good, feels coarse to the fingers and gives me the brown crispy touch that i need to sustain my fickle interest. on beauty has the chio-est cover, albeit a bit girly but everyone says its good, plus it was cheap, so i snapped it. catcher in the rye was a no brainer for me cuz i intend to make use of it somehow, be it lit ass or just plain paperback pleasure. small book in my hands, cup of tea, couch, cool wind on my face, sunny day. time on my side. i was tempted to buy history books, but that's for another time. picked up sandman: dream country and world's end too. speaking of which i absolutely CANNOT wait for at world's end and spiderman 3. hello! there's like venom! and i wanna know if jack sparrow really died! (oops spoiler. serves you right, because you probably spoiled xmen or harry potter for me, so we're even) well anw of course he didnt die. but oh the twists and turns. i also got myself mystic river and pieces of april on dvd, which im gonna enjoy after i read the mystic river book. oh boy.

keep thinking of the amount of work piling up. teachers reminding us we ought to be starting revision now. this is a mess. this life of ours. school. i dont know how we survive. but we do. we have to.

SYF awards show! spent a thought provoking afternoon with snee, and i find that we can talk really easily about most anything. so many insights btw, but more on that later. anw we got there LATE, much to my dismay, and missed cj. met cand who gave us a ride in the cab up the enormous hill that is 0.1 of hwa chong's empire in land terms. met mrs b and hubby. she had red streaks on the fringe, which is actually damn cool without the headband. and i felt that i actually missed her presence, in some weird way. anw i felt rj was the best, although there's so much RP cld learn from the others. aj was splendid with its aesthetics, and had pretty strong acting. did i get the storyline? not really- but my fault cuz im not a very good listener. ac was, im sorry, too overrated, and british accent in an american play is just no-no. ensemble was really what an ensemble shld be- strong, coordinated, powerful, effective and energetic. but amazing grace had too much airtime, and one was faced with boredom by the time they got to bunnie- oh no, not another eulogy! anyhow, goodjob to the rj peeps, cuz watching it again i actually felt extremely defensive when pple laughed unnecessarily. and im just all the prouder of all of them for being the great actors that they are. oh shumin and waikit, that priceless quarrel about george. and jo- was she shining or what. even akesh's rap never sounded better. shumin said that was probably her closest to a real theatre experience- because theyve done it so many times, it was like, their piece. totally agree. and noone cldve done it better!

liyana: "sam jo youre such an impt character in the play!"
me: "hmmm?"
liyana: "people hear your name and go- WHERE?"
thanks hor.

this week isnt my week because ive been made to wait for the longest time. first was pirates screw up, then was fish and co today- glass house was packed. saw james, who was at the booze counter! tsk tsk. anw we were made to wait close to 2 hours. but i appreciated spending more time with meta;fyr! as much as i dont go in the mornings, i really miss the bunch of them. must thank jean for keeping this og together. we enjoyed the new york fish and chips and whiled the time talking about weirdos in school and lapping up extra drops of butter sauce. yummy. quiet moments. looking up, no stars, but under the statue of LOVE, it was all we needed. promised it wasnt gonna be the last gathering. after exams? so be it. at the busstop i met victor.

sister just pointed to keira knightley on my wallpaper and said:
"do you know she's my age?"
me: "yes and look at you!"
she: "yes and what have i achieved?"
me: "nothing!"
she: "so sad!"

maybe that's why im jealous of beautiful people. they get what they want young, and spend the rest of their lives living off it. grrrr. (song playing now happens to be ashlee's beautifully broken. ha!)

anw yes speaking of keira, xtine and i had a great time discussing pirates while everyone else was still clueless. oh man. i think xtine is one girl who pleases everyone. oh oops. okay lemme try that again. xtine is someone whom everyone is happy to see! yes that's better. there's so much to talk about, and i must let it be known that im thankful for the comforting convos on the bus ride home. bus ride convos, although we dont rmbr much of, are extremely important in forming friendships, i feel. when the busride gets awkwardly quiet, then there's smthing wrong. and boy have i had my fair share of that. do i really worry too much?

anw been speaking to snee a lot lately. amazing to see how we've all come thus far. sometimes i feel like telling my life story and i hold back. and once in a while someone comes along, someone who bothers to listen and share. i have met a couple of such people, but i always end up losing them, in one way or another. anw, we talked to rolly on friday. and i want to put my life back in perspective. really, i can be rather oblivious to all thats around me sometimes. oh bugger. on that note, some things around me id rather not know of. but now that i do, come on! who are you to act all sententious when ure spending ur last year of school making someone else's life miserable, on purpose, with no good reason, and even to the point of sowing serious shit discord. im so over it, and i hope you get here someday. to the realization that we dont cherish enough and do things that we will spend the rest of our lives regretting. you dont wanna do this. really. and i say this, as a friend, to you both.

shib- we still need to talk. cheer up please.

and what does this mean?
With a gun and a pack of sandwiches says:
you're a clever boy.
With a gun and a pack of sandwiches says:
goodnight

too much for tonight. i shall end with this. i will be a new person somewhat come the new week.

Maybe I should sleep earlier and get off the bloody com and get my life back.

I love knowing that i have yet to fall in love.

I don't understand a crazy little thing called life.

I lose sleep when i really want to sleep. irony in insomnia.

People say I am the epitome of me. because i am not enough of anything to be something. something other than myself.

Love is a many splendoured thing. it has to be.

When I like someone i act differently lest im just not good enough the way i am. okay and sometimes i google the name- for kicks.

Somewhere someone will be the one. but somewhere someone is also dying, praying, doing something naughty, or being born into the wrong world.

I will always remember the days. the happy happy days, and never let go, for i draw strength from then. i will always try to be a better person, and never stop seeking the truth, that which is not 42.

Forever is being alone with the one you like and hearing time stop in your heart. forever is being young and having your whole future ahead of you and being free of worries. forever is what ive lost but seek to find again. forever is something i cannot see but would like to hold, even for a second. and that is impossible.

I never want to lose my memory and for people to forget me.

I think the current US President is not having an affair with rice.

I will never say never. well, perhaps eat chilli.

My past is a shadow that is always behind me, giving me all the support i need, but also the drawer of times that i want to hideaway forever.

My greatest fear is the fear of fear itself. perhaps facing up to my insecurities of this life, and after that, death and its emptiness.

I get annoyed when i act like a jerk and feel lousy about myself. also when people dont seem to exercise the same amount of self consciousness that i am capable of.

My dog is gonna be the cutest thing ever. i shall name him wellington, and i will love him because he will be there when im lonely.

Kisses are the best when dare you to move is the song behind it all. when sincere, of course. and when a surprise.

Tomorrow is only a day away. a never ending sleep. something which i do not want to wake up to.

I really want to let the world know who i am and be appreciated. i want to be tops in something, and not just an eminent mediocrity.

I have low tolerance for inconsideration and lack of love. oh and chilli.

10:13 AM