otamot

Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato.

Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar

CREATEUR ALLEY

Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing

January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009

Saturday, July 08, 2006
just missed the train

so uninspired to write anything here.
but then i might never get started and i dont want this to die.

relieved that cts are over, most definitely. the prospect of prelims in 9 weeks is close to nauseating, but then again, i expected it, and it's not gonna be easy- esp since this time round ive learnt that focusing is really not my thing- but im gonna try. and damn well im gonna try my best.

results have been streaming in, history's a well maintained B, and as much as im impeccably envious of those who managed to ease an A, i think it's not impossible for me. and that's why im gonna work a hell lot harder- do my readings, read more, listen in lectures etcetera.

so far econs has indicated that i can pass. which is a good sign? i just wish i could rise above this trench that im perpetually stuck in. how im gonna get out i dont know, but this is my promise to myself. i guess promises are better left unsaid.

the rest are in limbo. gp lit math. i can only hope for the best i guess. oh and the asses! lit ass was fun after all, and so was hist ass, despite the nerve wrecking hours before the tests, i actually found myself engaging in some real intellectual intercourse- and i enjoy intercourse. so there! will i pull out? i need to take a step back when all the results are confirmed i suppose. for now, i need to try and enjoy whatever free time i have left.

there's always that need to like burn out whatever time i have. to just live it to the fullest. and that's been my mentality ever since jc. but you know, this year's really no joke. and i think much as i would like to avoid it, and as much as i would like to procrastinate, i want to do what counts for once. im not really sure what that is. in fact im very much oscillating between taking time off and devoting it to the books or what not. i had plans, after cts, to read widely, to broaden my knowledge, to have lots of fun, to go out more, to study hard, stay consistent- but it always seems you can never do what you want- at least not all of it, when you want it.

the magic word is balance.

im gonna strike it. for some reason this cts was a pretty trying moment for me- and cuz of that i have no idea how im gonna handle entire syllabi of all my subjects. well, after cts was a particularly low moment for me. there was hardly anyone to hang out with, for some reason- and not that i wanted to anyway. everyone else was having fun but i was just rotting alone. i managed a first swim in ages, and i swam all that pent up stress away. monday was supposed to be the best day ever in a long time, but it was a gathering that failed to live up to its hype. some were sick, some didnt come, many came late, had to leave halfway, and hardly anyone could stay over. i even just learnt that i was treated to this huge lie that day, and im sitting here wondering why i was so stupid as to have fallen for it. i should have known. but can i say i would have done differently? i really dont know.

sarah's house was warm and cosy and it was a nice afternoon of lots of eating in holland v, silly shopping that ended in me getting this felt-like polka dot shirt (dont ask me what colour!). then we watched hitchhiker's guide and marvin was just brilliant. morosely brilliant. dinner was probably the funnest part because gawin came over and we actually went grocery shoppping and did some coooking. cutting onions, chopping vege, tossing chicken chippolittas and stuff like that. and it was not bad at all! in fact it was really good, so thanks for a new experience i suppose. we never know what we can discover. night time we watched frasier, grey's anatomy, the usual monday tv fair, and finished off into the early morning with sliding doors :]

how coincidental! cd just played just missed the train by kelly clarkson, and i was talking abt sliding doors. aha. life must love me. except i dont know how much i love it back.

anw thanks sarah for your place, but now its up to someone like js to make sure the next one has more than 3 pple around at anyone time. oh i miss those days when we were all together and noone could take us away from each other. life was so much simpler then. probably happier too. but who am i to talk about life.

the start of regular school has been tiring- already, i know. really thankful that cca's out of my life. but i think im gonna have to make better use of my time. i can see how the next few weeks are gonna play out. lots of hard work and shaping up about to come my way- and im just gonna have to rise to the challenge, or get lost in it. i dont wanna lose.

after hist ass i wanted to join the 1b/13a peeps for bubble tea but somehow jean ramu and snee steered me towards island creamery. we had banana, nutella, apple pie and cookies & cream! had a really long talk. about life, the class dynamics, and many other miscellaneous things. really interesting stuff too. it never fails to amaze me how much we had inside to speak about. sometimes too many things are left unspoken of. i was in a pretty good mood after that actually. for those couple of hours i connected with those 3 on some utterly random level. and it was therapeutic, to say the least.

this week ended on that high note. no more hist ass looming in the background. birthday presents more or less finalized- haha. apart from nelly furtado's loose from power 98, i got:
sliding doors dvd + v for vendetta poster / snee&cc
the curious incident of the dog in the night-time + wooden basketball toy / alan
anansi boys / zee
g2000 dark blue shirt + photo collage / junyi
edgar allen poe's collection / jonk
kelly clarkson's thankful / nash
voodoo studies charm / liyana
another motorola handphone / parents
to all: thank you!

now that germany's out, i need to find a reason to go to shumin's house on sunday night. the reason will be the class, i suppose. i really enjoyed moments of spontaneity on class's part this week. the basketball game after rolly, before lit s, totally crazy wild fun i havent had in a long while. and the prata house lunch that i followed on impulse. but what will last will last, and what won't, cant be helped.

shibani tags:
Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.

1. i live on paper. i smell every set of notes im given, and i kiss my exam scripts before handing them in- superstition.

2. ive always wanted a pet! like a dog who will always be there for me. i need my wellington.

3. i study in my storeroom. that got me through the toughest of times. and tougher times lie ahead.

4. i brush my tongue everytime i brush until i get the vomit sensation then i stop. it wakes me up and cleans my mouth ten times better!

5. i have yet to open my ipod video or drink my barcardi breezer.

6. before i bathe, i am sam. after i bathe, i am jo.

I tag : (all girls, cuz guys dont update)
1. xtine
2. snee
3. liyana
4. jean
5. ashlee simpson

"i think people believe in heaven because they dont like the idea of dying, because they want to carry on living and they dont like the idea that other people will move into their house and put their things into the rubbish."

i pray for YOU.

1:14 AM