otamot

Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato.

Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar

CREATEUR ALLEY

Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing

January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009

Saturday, April 22, 2006
dare

welcome to the planet
welcome to existence
everyone's here
everybody's watching you now
everybody waits for you now
what happens next?

it's barely past 8am and im awake. despite having slept the whole of yesterday away, through dinner and through the night, i like the feeling now. that for once time is seemingly on my side. that i have the whole quiet morning to myself. that instead of feeling wretched abt the waste of time at least im awake now, fully rested, and ready to take on the new week. i ought to feel wretched abt throwing yesterday behind me but i needed that i suppose.

i really enjoyed yesterday. to think i was worried that it would take away most of my saturday- well it did, but im not caught up with that now. dragonboating was fun- the mt bunch was a great group to be with. i felt the common spirit surge within us- and it was all in good fun, no real competitive motivation. jumping into the water was hilarious and we just lived for the moment. even ms chen learnt to let go. i thought it was truly a magical time- the ice broke, laughter erupted and water splashed like fire.

it felt a little weird being there, intruding on them- after all it was a council camp. that's why junyi didnt wanna be there? but i guess im not one who lets go easily. and you can ask me for my honest opinion on the new structure and i would say obviously housecomm has been swallowed by council. oh bring me to justice for this you rats but yeah come on look at it. my only hope is that the house spirit will just be strong enough to ring throughout. personally im not very sure about school spirit. im very sure we have one, i can feel it in my bones, but if the rationale is to build school spirit through house spirit then how is the new system serving this purpose? will house spirit be something more than an echo or a convenient adhoc inspiration? im not saying it should be the prime motivation, but i really feel it was meant for so much more.

im confident this new batch can do wonders with the house spirit though, so it's their stage now. i just hope they're doing it for the right reasons. unlike some of the current batch. it's one whole big irony if you think about it- but then we are pessimists. and i shall strive not to be one. most of the time i dont have an opinion on such things- i tend to remain neutral, but when my heart speaks up there's no stopping it. long live MT!

guitar's ex-animo was another highlight. i think it helped me a lot- helped me slow down, even if just for a night, and helped me appreciate the music, and hence appreciating the pple who have been making the music for so long without me cherishing their effort enough. jonathan and alan (with xx) you guys were great. im unimaginably proud of them. and the other nice peeps in guitar too- so many of them- james, joel, weiqi, huankiat, liyi, victor, ronnie, hanlong etc. it was like a little 4d reunion too, what with jermyn and glen and jared helping out too. this also helped me break another barrier, and emceeing with snee was really a joyful learning experience. couldnt have asked for a better one. before i forget, my wardrobe was sponsored by the following: junyi (shoes, coat), my dad (pants, tie), and myself (shirt, socks, belt, underwear). so yes thank you all thank you! im glad i took this up- it was a gamble that paid off :]

dreamix will forever be my one true regret this year. regret that i didnt put in more effort into it when i couldve. i admit i was overcommitted to lots of places, but at times i simply adopted the attitude of not giving a damn. and after this experience, esp the day itself, seeing how pple like tetty and diana and enhui were so earnest in pushing for it, i felt bad. i guess i did what i could to help out on that day- walk in sales were fantastic, but then again things cldve been so much better too. but i guess this was a learning experience. when i lost my certificate i didnt really dare to look for it cause i didnt feel i deserved it. it's so weird. when i found it i got excited but that brings us back to why im doing all this- recognition? self-fulfillment? im definitely not altruistic in this respect. i have my flaws and this is one of it. maybe that's why i choose to be a twenty different places at once so that there will always be that chance that i can walk away feeling twenty times fulfilled and accomplished when in reality the more is less. i hope those who went enjoyed themselves. local music does have its perks. i wont forget this.

hmm did i mention i received two white slips this week. of course thanks to two peteachers. if i may be bold- yes they seem to be very good at doing this. effortless really. sure it was my fault, but i dont see why some people cannot be more understanding. i will stick by this- skipping assembly and thursday pe is nothing in relation to the bigger working of things, of life. but maybe for some their lives revolve around an occupation that doesnt give enough satisfaction. do not ask me to compare your responsibility to your job to my responsibility to a lesson that allows me to play floorball for 15 mins while the other 45 mins im either waiting for my classmates to change (because they take 20 mins in their own sweet time) or waiting with them while other classes hog the playing ground. it is just not the same and i cant believe i didnt spit and vomit out what i really felt. i do my own health good because i know what im doing. my fitness level isnt a fail, in fact- it has always been a gold till recently when coming in 1 second late gave me a silver. if you are worried you will be letting those trees used to manufacture your white slips die in vain- then hey i can spit out so many names deserving of a whiteslip. but why do i not do that? because i think it's stupid! catching pple for the lamest and most trivial of reasons. i cant believe that the school is wasting resources on such shows of morality. i dont see you taking extra measures on your councillors- some of whom not only have skirts like mini skirts, they have hair that scream highlights, so please please catch me because im a role model turned rebel! so it's my turn to be understanding and yes i will have to accept those two white slips without a word even though they are my first ever two white slips on my otherwise untainted record and i received both of them within 3 days of each other. at the end of the day, it sucks to be you so there's no point in me being angry. i have learnt my lesson, but am thoroughly disappointed with the rationale behind the catching. when i was running with abhi the other day, a certain teacher said to us: "you can run or collapse at home it doesnt matter i dont care it's your own business your parents' business. but you run here, in slippers with pple knowing youre with the school, what would pple say abt us. who will be answerable if you collapse? me!" so yeah it's all about you yeah? whatever happened to the welfare of the students? you people dont even get it clear why you are taking disciplinary action- and that's saddening.

chill. if this week has taught me anything, it's the fact that life is so much bigger.

you know sometimes ive taken you for granted, but only because i dont see you everyday. and sometimes i look back at all those times spent together and i really miss what we had. you are always the one who laughs, who smiles, who makes others happy. and for once you disappear for real and this has to happen, and i dont know how to feel. it's like, it couldve happened to me, to anyone. i really miss you and all i wanna do is give you a big hug. because that's all i can do, and i feel so useless as a friend, but i guess my words and consolation can only do so much. they do not count for an ounce of sorrow or lost that you're going through. i can only pray that you will live for those who will continue to stay beside you, and know that youre always loved, such that when our time comes we will hopefully be ready to go, and let go.

you know sometimes when you wake up in the morning and it's a new day and you felt like yesterday was a bad dream- or rather you wish it was. we always think about what has happened and we get so absorbed that we forget to live for what is now and what is to come. as a friend i hope you will look at what is in front of you, and only draw strength from what has passed- because it's your move now, and we'll always be there for you.

i dare you to move
i dare you to move
i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
i dare you to move
i dare you to move
like today never happened
today never happened before...

5:27 PM