otamot

Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato.

Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar

CREATEUR ALLEY

Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing

January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009

Sunday, November 20, 2005
scream my lungs out

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

(Chorus)
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

i am positively stuck on this song, thanks to jonk's yellowcard cd. something abt it is so yearning and heartfelt, it's...beautiful. haha.
well well well what a weekend it has been really. it seemed as though things were gonna fall apart on friday night. zee&nash not being able to make it and what not. truth to be told i was more disappointed than angry. disappointed in them, but also in all of us i guess.
sat morning i tripped down to ntuc centre @ marina boulevard for the today srp writing competition. expecting a gp essay, we were in for one great surprise. the exam room was super cool, had a view of the spore river and the esplanade, but even cooler was the paper itself. thanks to the funny guy neilhumphreys it was a mixture of general knowledge trivia, a test on observation skills based on an almost nonsensical sounding briefing beforehand, a scenario choosing task and lastly a sample article question. in short it was one real eyeopener and im really glad i woke up early to go for that. after the paper heather, junxing, liansheng and myself trotted to suntec city, past fullerton and the merlion which brought back certain memories, and ate lunch at BK there. that was my third BK meal in two weeks. im almost growing averse to it.

my first big mistake that day was probably drinking half of my coke. coke btw, is an evil drink. or pepsi. whatever. it's not only cold, it's also gassy. i went home and slept. waking up at 4 plus i managed to be late for the 530 meeting time at clementi mrt. but surprise terence was on the same bus as me! i was elated when i saw him when we got off. until we got there of course. there was a grand total of 0 pple awaiting us. zhifeng came soon after, then huanna, then eventually yeeler. many girls cldnt make it. many others were at yingsze's preparing food. so we took173 to terence's and saw his welltrained dog beagan (and then there was hush the fake hush puppy haha)and basically as soon as everyone came we had a lot of fun. and im not just saying this haha. it was really in my opinion one great party. we didnt do much, but the good was great for one. well planned and well cooked. got plenty of photos of the prettayy table. pple were goofing around, esp with the keyboard and the microphone, and the electro foot thingy...we tried watching kill bill, but some pple freaked out after the vernita green scene, so we stopped it. and eventually the class played truth or dare. hmmm somehow it feels so strained blogging about it. i sorta ended my night there playing badminton, scooting off soon after with cc to clementi to meet alan. i guess i have a restored faith in my class after the lousy night that was lovely war. i didnt have fun then at all. well, generally that is. still some elements that i cannot stand, but will continue to tolerate. ahh well, what can we do. thankew rj096 for that party i really needed it! i had fun cuz i could really let go there and then! yayyy

we ended up reaching hougang at 11plus. it was kinda weird, like just going there just to sleep haha. but we didnt did we? sorta did lots of little things before i felt sneezy and all. i guess it was nice just being there instead of at home, in front of the com, like now. ahhhh. i enjoyed that night. i guess when you enjoy yourself, you sorta forget why you enjoyed yourself, cuz thats happening to me now. haha ok i know we played the harry potter gnome card game, which i won thank you. then uno, which i think i won also thank you! unfortunately cc claimed games like these lacked intellect and skill so oh well, what can i say to sour grapes haha! alright joking joking, as usual. we kept switching music btwn power98 and 987, and daniel powter and yellowcard. we had ovaltines for snacks, and mattresses for comfort. but what we really had, was each other for company. mindless company maybe, but therapeutic. in the end, if you all must know my nose acted up and i cldnt take the aircon so i had to drink plenty of hot water, breathe in steam to ease my breathing and sleep alone in the guestroom without aircon. cc&alan were nice to sit by me reading magazines before retiring. the next day we went for breakfast- kayatoast and egg and kopi/teh at hougang point and then we watched killbill vol1 finally after so many tech problems wooohooo! it was a smashin' movie i tell ya! now they all dont like it grrr. i will have to kill them now wldnt i? mwhahahaa. we were clueless as to what to do after the movie. always happens. looked at some old exam questions, photos, cards, pamphlets, u know, memories in print. most of it was verbal recall throughout the night, amidst laughter and the usual banter. and few things jonk wld always do when we visit: (1) show us the survivor flash presentation and comment that i didnt contribute much (2) conduct a live demo of his collection of movable toys from macdonalds, ranging from incredibles to chicken little. (insert excited clap from the proud owner when the toy, having moved from one end of the room to ther other, eventually self destructs or stops as mechanically intended.) (3) be extremely anal about dust and us touching the glass of his cupboard doors. (4) exhibit his collection of cds in the nice red borders cd album holder and hyperventilating when we accidentally mistreat the booklets. (5) serve us nothing and eat his own food, but in a strangely acceptable way.

we had some time to talk about our future. jonk was all for revealing his secrets or whatever only next year when he feels we wont see each other again. i dunno, so weird, imagine not seeing each other ever again. and was telling alan that i might be one of those pple he recognizes but cant really associate with his memory in time to come. he told me not to be pessimistic but im wondering if that's possible? imagine i grew a huge beard cuz i went to russia. noone would recognize me! anw, the ivy league looks way kewl. but who knows where we'll go. everyday is a crossroad of some sort. we make numerous decisions. i rmbr telling someone once that sometimes different decisions eventually lead back to the same path. sometimes we dont always have control of the choices we make, for fate, or smthing its kind will truly determine what happens to us. think so? i dunno.

i guess nobody else wld understand how fun it was. and i dont see the need to explain it. i hope the paragraph has done it more credit than a mere two liner. ok silly me being typically bitter and all. go away. haha but no seriously, for what its worth, thank you for your house!!! im sorta better now cuz sleep does wonders. and now christine has made me feel moody thru no fault of hers.

Christine 'The world smells like him again.' says:
life is always kind when you look back on it

Christine 'I've thrown my words all around.' says:
I wish I could say I appreciated this year more

so the end of the year is just round the corner. christmas makes my heart sink with hope. yeah, paradox i know, but i guess things shld only get better? this year has been so kind to me, im utterly thankful. i cant wait. i feel so fulfilled this weekend. did 3 big things as summed up above. might be boring to some, but meant a lot to me. i just wanna live!

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

(Chorus)
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

(Interlude)

Here I go...so dishonestly leave a note for you my only one
And I know...you can see right through me
So let me go...and you will find some one

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one...no one like you
You are my only my only one
My only one(x3)
You are my only my only one!

7:08 AM