otamot

Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato.

Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar

CREATEUR ALLEY

Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing

January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009

Saturday, November 05, 2005
the roadrunners

so this is it, huh.
can't believe its over. really. not at all. simply put: surreal.
but i guess it isnt too much of an anti-climax, which wldve been terrible. almost unbearable. i feel like one of my blogdrive moods now, smthing within urging me to spill every single detail of the past month or so.
i know, i have been this irritating inactive blogger that i never thought i wld turn into. but then again, i never wanted to be a blogger. never, until that strange urge overcame me one day. what on earth was i thinking?
but im glad i got started. sometimes reading back, it really helps a lot in bringing back stuff which i thought i had lost, but only on closer inspection, realize its been there all along, waiting to be rediscovered, unearthed. the recent episode of Lost and that scene with katie digging up a little treasure box and playing back the tape really tugged my heart, cuz i wonder if i will ever have a chance to do that. really sweet.
ashlee simpson on the radio- really keeps me going. was in a terrible mood the other day, and it was only when the guitar intro of boyfriend came on that i was able to drown all my troubles.
with that said, i gather that her video has been on heavy broadcast here. haha. what can i say. i dont plan to take it down soon. she recently topped the billboard 200 again, and im more than proud of her. ahhh, ok, where do i start?

well yes. there was promos. the main reason why i stopped blogging for a long while anw. i felt the greatest sense of uncertainty after everything was done. really had no idea how i would do. for one, no lit student wld be stupid enough to recognize a sonnet as a ballad. not many other math students wldve done practice on the same type of question and yet still feel helpless when it comes out just as predicted. and then i ramble. thing is, econs was left to the last minute to study, since i read thru almost everything during the sept holidays. simply had no time to revisit it sooner because of history. lit was last minute as usual, despite my attempt at starting early with othello. but in the end- believe it or not- well, i cant, yeah. i pulled through. phew! it has been most encouraging really. GP was a huge relief considering i had 15 mins left for application. sometimes, things happen when u least expect them to. PC pulled me down but othello was my saviour once again. econs was a disappointment at parts but i wasnt complaining, given the common test fiasco. history was a so near yet so far scenario, but made me feel really safe with everyone else getting around the same. math gave me a dream, and it came true. so in the end it ended with A2ABBB. was and am still hugely elated. but at the same time, terribly thankful to the fates above. i worked so hard for this. and the many pple who helped me. esp. mslui- she was really patient with me- truly dedicated and always striving to help me out. thanks so much. i will keep working hard. all the other teachers as well, for if not for them i will be nothing. jean, trix and the other fellas from class for those days spent mugging in the library. i never had such an experience- but it was most fruitful. thanks. i figure i have loads more pple to thank, esp my parents, who have been so tolerant with me and my temper, but hey- cant rmbr all of them now.

that was that. and before long cc and pek were talking abt resuming rehearsals. wasnt really happy to learn that my freedom wld be snatched away from me that soon. i hardly had time to myself. and then it started, just like that. i guess it was a blessing in disguise. things like that come our way, and always prove to yield a special place in our heart when we least expect it.
i cant exactly rmbr how it was then, despite it being only a few weeks ago, if we look at it from a macro point of view. but i guess the flurry of recent events have turned out to be so overwhelming that everything before that just seems to be part of it too, just that, we dont necessarily know how to pinpoint what made what so special.

threesome has been in short, a beautiful experience. beautiful people, both inside and out, and beautiful moments that we shared together. i guess at this point, words truly fail me.
i woke up this morning sorely missing the whole process in its entirety.
i rmbr the auditions, when i first got the chance to really talk to shibani despite us being next door to each other every day. i rmbr having to do lizard in the loo with snee, and hungry with shibani. i rmbr rushing off to do banner painting for moortarbet. man, those were the days eh? seemed like ages ago. i rmbr when it was first intended to be FourPlay. i rmbr doing that monologue for the first time in my classroom. i rmbr being lionel with liyana as laura. i rmbr the first few rhrsals when everyone was still rather unfamiliar with each other. i rmbr rhrsing the porch scene with khin for the first time beside that blank green noticeboard and taking down notes on the script in pencil. i rmbr being as impressed as ever by cc's clever directions even from the very beginning. i rmbr practicing the ant/jess scene for the first time with sarah, and how things hit off so well. i rmbr the bus ride home on 156 with js and sarah. i rmbr js seemingly daoing me once on the bus- of course he really didnt. i still recall liyana being so enthusiastic abt the whole thing, and sean a little less. but then it all began to change. slowly, but surely.
something happened in between, i just dont know what.
there was the time we first had to stay back late. i figure my first dinner with everyone was beef noodles. i rmbr us being the first play to use LT2. i rmbr us 'stealing' couches from the consultation rooms! i rmbr the three cockroaches i killed during rehearsals, and the one that escaped into the crack on the wall. i rmbr the million times we shifted the sets to and fro, and how the toilet platforms eventually turned pink. who can forget the bed assembling, where everyone was busy screwing the bed, together. liyana's sleeping bag. gavin's dinner bitching. painting the van. the arrival of the first tufts of grass, and the toilet bowl. the flowers that got stolen, among the many things that went missing, like the shelves etc. i rmbr a few of us lazing on the same bed, taking "threesome" photos. hmm which brings me to, who has those? i dont wanna wake up one day to find our scandalous photos splashed all over the papers or smthing. haha.
it's like, we've been doing it forever, you know.
yeah, i know. i woke up feeling terribly empty. post production blues they say.
i was really glad we got a chance to gather in a circle yesterday before the final show to bear our hearts. it was most touching. but i didnt get to say all i wanted to say. then again, some things are better left unsaid. others, cannot be forgiven if left unspoken.
sigh. so here goes, despite the little notes, which i feel, wasnt enough.
to my fellow cast: liyana, sarah, khin, seand & js, thank you so much. all of you mean so much to me. i cldnt imagine the entire thing without any of you. in the end, it was really you guys that kept me sane on stage, and most of the time, off stage too. all of you are really so talented im so honoured i got to share this with you guys. we have had so much fun, esp with the photoshoot (huge kudos to ronnie the king!) and all- let us not ever forget that :]
to the very important others: chengchai, jo, gavin, nick & shibani, thanks a million too. all this wld not have been possible without you guys. most amazing team ive ever come across, extremely formidable and always so dedicated and encouraging, always looking out for us and achieving the impossible. if i had to craft a soundtrack for the roadrunners production, rachel yamagata's quiet will take track1. ashlee simpson's boyfriend will be somewhere too. but i think the most important track wld be that of our own voices, led by gavin, through the mindless songs that were belted out every now and then.
oh yeah, and i wldnt dare to take the fabulous others like shumin, pek, zul (basically the whole exco) for coming up with this idea in the first place. thanks to cast of the other plays too, for their enthusiasm really kept us going. it was great fun watching them perform- i guess we're all proud of each other.
biggest and heartiest thanks to all you guys.
i wonder if the second night dip ever did happen. but it most certainly felt so. but nonetheless, most of the feedback has been most encouraging. i just wanna say to those that came down- it really meant a lot to us, so thanks for all your support and i really hope everyone had a blast. disappointments, i guess, were not preventable. it could have been so much better, but we did what we could on both nights, and despite friday not being the best we cld muster, we stayed strong for each other, and hey, i think that's what matters. we all worked so hard for this, so much effort put into perfecting even the most subtle things, for if you know chengchai, you wld know that details dont go unaccounted for. and thus, despite the screw ups here and there, i am immensely thankful and grateful, because we earned our place on stage, we earned that applause- we earned something that all of us as students pulled off by ourselves.
now, after all the flowers, touching smses/msn msgs and encouraging words, and very charming bananas and tomatoes, which btw i am so grateful for so thank you loads, i guess its time to close the curtains and say goodbye. sorry if i did not manage to talk to so many of you after the show. god knows what i was doing. argh!
everything starts somewhere, but not everything has to end.
indeed.

this new template has its purposes. aside from refreshing the whole blog image, i guess it suggests my addiction to the past, and that sometimes, while we shld learn to let go, it is from the past and from our memories that we draw our strength and confidence and happiness.
till then, i am me. and i have so many things left to do, so many things awaiting me, yet, i feel kinda empty. happily nothing. hmmm.

4:36 AM