Mot, Myself and Me Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato. Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar
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from exit to exit CREATEUR ALLEY Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing Yesterdays January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009
Friday, November 25, 2005
everybody hurts one month to christmas. i feel horrible now actually. watched the last episode of lost and well i raised my voice and temper as usual. argh! i feel like a horrid brat! i feel like a totally ugly person inside. i try to be kindhearted and personable and nice and friendly but sometimes pple just rub me the wrong way and i blow up easily- i know that. im probably the only one in class who has shouted this whole year. and i dunno i just feel that i maintain rather unhealthy relationships with frens/family because of my temper. smthing which i have, believe me, been trying to control but somehow i find myself in a downward spiral. and once i start i cant turn back that easily until i reach the point that will guarantee me regrets. argh! you know what? that will be one of my new year resolutions. i must say i have improved since my bratty chilli padi days, really, and im proud of that. but the pple around me cannot be proud of me if i treat them like crap occasionally. i dunno. im on my way there, i hope. will not stop trying i guess. i only wish they wld understand and you know, give me time. recognize that i am doing my part. pffff alright got that off my chest. much thanks to liyana too. quite similar scenarios we face i gather. but seriously, why do our moods fluctuate so much? i think maybe we need to hurt our loved ones sometimes, or get hurt, so that we know how much we actually feel for them. but i just wish things wld be so much more peaceful. some people i know dont need that. they are just happy go lucky. i wanna be free on the inside!! but this is my own challenge and i have to face it i guess. btw its been slightly more than one year since o lvls ended. not to be taken for granted trust me. i feel so accomplished i actually conquered that! 19 nov chem paper i will always rmbr that. i felt fully liberated after that. my mom observed me day by day and she cld tell from my face if my heavy papers were over or not. ahhhh! and now im gonna have to face smthing like that soon. next year. life keeps getting back at you, keeps coming back for more. i watched a christmas carol yesterday with some of the roadrunners and jonk and zul and max! it was not bad at all! mag was in it so i had to support her naturally. it was a very aesthetically pleasing show, and knowing me, thats really important. the lead was great and funny, and so were the christmas ghosts. well, at least xmas present, with her warrior stance and deep voice. "dinG-donG". mwahaha. unfortunately i still feel sore abt paying 20bucks for it. i cldve gotten me self and nice cd with that money. or rather saved myself a whole lot for rainy days. i think as ive grown up im spending more and beginning to really see the imptance of money and saving money and all. i actually wanna work and earn money now. makes me envious of those who are getting salary now. as for my attachment, well, we dont get no money! but we get plenty of good food! haha mindef is a great ministry to be with lah. im not allowed to say too much but so far, its been an eyeopener. nice pple around too! and frankly, it has helped me shape a rough vision for my future. i think i really wanna go overseas now and i dont mind an saf scholarship. well, thats rather ambitious i know. but i know i can do it if i tried! and i dont mind the challenge of a military career (dont laugh, im serious) its fun actually. and im not afraid of ns at all. the only fear i cld possibly have is the unknown, that that isnt really much to fend off after awhile. i guess i can more or less shortlist a few career options for myself now. and that is amazing- a big step for someone like me, indecisive and all. i really wanna get a chance to do a range of things. so maybe i will like delve into psychology, and on a lighter side of things, maybe dabble in deejaying or journalism! aint that kewl. im on a roll! psle results were out yesterday. i think its rather cruel to let 12 yr old kids deal with major exams at such an early stage of their lives. i dunno lah. u know some pple actually cry. its not fair. cld turn them off studying for the rest of their lives. they might lose the motivation. hmmm as much as i like to imitate teachers, i dont think i will become a teacher next time. if i can help it that is. i think the teaching job is always a nice thing to fall back on. omg it's soo wei's last night on radio! i didnt even know! a new chapter in her life. i wonder where she's going. who's gonna replace her? ahhh she's crying! oh noooo. damn as much as she can fumble in speech sometimes, i think she has been such a friendly dj i know im gonna miss her voice. three cheers for soo! sigh. i guess a new chapter in my life is gonna start soon. the part is titled JC. but the chapter has to change. j2 life is gonna be so different. but before i flip the page, let me enjoy my christmas. i just wanna end this year with a bang you know. soak in the spirit of christmas. anw i was reading someone's blog and i personally feel we dont need to be xtian to love christmas and love during christmas. come on! for me its about having fun and getting into the festive mood. and i guess so what if some pple feel its not being totally true to xmas since xmas has smthing to do with christ and all. if i choose not to believe, but i still feel happy, dont feel sorry for me. haha i guess i find it hard to believe. sorry if ive offended anyone, but this has been my stance all along. call me unenlightened, misguided etc, im just me and all youre ever gonna get is who i am. :] i found the following exchange really though provoking. i love stuff like that. peter pan complex, alan says. who do you agree with? [a£an] says: ppl mean no harm [Soulstice] says: you got to grow up then [a£an] says: u got to stop growing too quickly
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