we are so young now
we are so young so young now

ok i flouted my own rules. so im not supposed to blog till oct 7 but what the heck this whole week there has been this debate going on inside of me- what i shld do, how i shld plan my study schedule, that i should not watch this or that, do this or that- im just sick of it!

but i have been rather kind on myself. considerably. considering this whole week i woke up after 12pm. apparently im immune to my alarm clock now. it alarms me but doesnt stop me from snoozing a whole 4 more hours.

so anyhow i had a great chance to sit down and study this week. but the most important of all- and i havent forgotten- is how after succeeding weeks of pure stress and hectic deadlines i was finally able to do things at my own pace. and boy that felt good. like now im sitting here typing no matter how much i have to do at least the dateline is still sept 29 and all. argh.

so im thankful for this week. really helped me sleep in and do what i do best. be myself. i have been trying to stay offline but to no avail. look at me typing now! but i guess this will have to stop in a week's time. i shall be real strict with myself. i went without the radio for hours today. was able to focus more. but i think im my biggest competitor. yes, i can distract myself so easily. so i have to challenge myself. i have done smthing like this before. and now the end is conceivable- less than a month away- i can smell success and i will do all my best to get it. i am not gonna care about anyone else. i shall not be pressured by them. i know how competitive and on task so many others are. but at the end of the day i can only be myself. so i have to deal with myself and get over myself. im in my own little world when i study. i have my own habits, ways, timing, pace. i do what i want to do. what i can do to the best of my ability and necessity.

lights will guide me home... and ignite my bones... and i will try to fix me.

on a short but separate note, we visited ms kelly this tuesday. it was magical. baby elise was so adorable. the actual real baby i have appreciated. im so thankful once again for that experience. it just took me out of mugging mode for awhile. helped me open up and all. macs studying was a flop haha. but oh well who cares. we had fun. the puppet books and all. thanks all who made that happen!

now its time to really step up my gear and try to work harder towards my goal. all As! i want to be happy and the only way is if i earn my own happiness. here's a quote i found most meaningful and heartrending when i read someone's blog. and i shall leave us with that. school starts in 7 hours or so. power 98 is going thru some change. sept 11 just passed. how far we have come from 2001 its so scary. i cherish those years leading up to now. all my years actually. well, i digress. i pray noone i know gets dengue. its scary! to hell with those mosquitoes. if i was desperate for a job i wld go fume all of them and earn moolahs for it. mwhahaha. i hope i dont fall sick. stay strong! and rockstar inxs really rocks. now i have added that to my tv lineup but im loving all of it. shall manage time properly now. ok then. ciao.

"When we talk about love, words fail us. It is not that we cannot express; it is just that we don't find the right words to convey our truest emotion."