otamot

Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato.

Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar

CREATEUR ALLEY

Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing

January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009

Monday, April 18, 2005
the entry of pity

today is a day full of pity.
not anything to do with me, its just that sometimes i dont know whether i shld feel glad that i have a heart, a rather soft one. i actually feel for people that i dont really know, in a strange way.

its 2am and i just heard carrie chong's touching story, as she always has one every night, except i never blog about them. well now i am. and i dunno sometimes we're just more fortunate than others? more fortunate than we think we are? it is uncanny how much our expectations rise when we get more. nobody wants something as simple like a rag doll with clothes nowadays. not in this country. maybe.

so you see i wanna help but i really dunno what to do. i guess, as much as im consumed in my own feelings, thinking im being a saint just having that bit of concern in me- im actually not doing much to help.

i have the sudden urge to donate all my ang bao money to charity. but it seems to fake of me to do so. and i know i wont do that. sigh.

anyway stuff like the unpopular pple in campaign, but nevertheless sincere and deserving; those who lost their loved ones due to natural disasters, and i guess it never hit me till one rj guy was affected; and those way out there, in the dumps, i wish i could do something.

white houses on radio. the song just spirits me away. into lala land. but its supposed to be about losing virginity. oh well.

u see im sitting here in front of a computer listening to the radio talking about virginity (gosh tata young now- how wrong) when somewhere someone is dying and crying with grief. you know the social studies textbook when there's this sri lankan woman crying? yeah that sight really aches my heart a lot. i mean, that could be me, and i cld almost understand how exactly it feels like. u know i wonder if i takee the pple around me for granted sometimes. i guess so. sigh its true that u never really know what u have till u lose it. only then u cherish it.

argh! those people are helpless i can feel it! if i had magical powers i wld use it for good. really.

today i slept went i reached home, after having sprained my leg at floorball cuz of my new 2 inch high shoes. it was a nice bus ride home with alan btw. we just kept laughing and laughing about his silly lit teachers. "nothing much lar...very easy one what, dont have to read again" said lim. hahaha! so yeah the point is i didnt really do any hmwk? and im barely started with my RA article. which means tomorrow, long day, im doomed. almost. still hafta come up with a smashin design. i dont know what i'll do. there's just so much to do. position paper too. anw i love rolly's lesson. i also like it when our teachers talk about their children. mr reeves is so admirable when he talks abt his daughter. yeah i guess i'll feel that way too. when he talked abt how time flies, and how it moves at different speeds (well he implied it), i dunno- cld totally relate to it. i can see my whole life dealing with time and chances and life and choices.

bleah. and did i mention my og is dying? and i regret some choices after voting council today. jonk kicked up a whole fuss with alan. expected. childish? maybe.
issit me or do ryanS and glenL share the same birthday?

im flying without wings...i want to go to heaven, yet i want to live and dream.

take a moment to think about those who deserve our pity ok? and think of those whom we dont pay attention to usually. who loves them? i think that's the least they deserve. our thoughts. our kind thoughts and helpful thoughts. cuz maybe someone up there will hear us and do something about it. i hope i dont become like that next time. i'd rather pity than be pitied. is that selfish? i dunno. maybe not actually. its human nature. but then, is caring in our nature?

yes yes. it has to be. dont lose faith in humanity.

i want to watch more touching shows. i want to read touching books. i want to be moved. i want to cry out loud again. because it has been so long since ive done that. really cry...i just want to let any remnants out for good. but since when, im unable to do it. its just stuck, those genuine tears of sadness of pity of kindness of the mind. sigh.

"our memories- they can be inviting. but some are altogether mighty frightening"

11:02 AM