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Mot, Myself and Me Mot: means witty saying. Short for Mote (speck of dust), reverse of Tom (Cruise), which is in turn short for Tomato. Ashlee Simpson, Big Fish, Just Shoot Me, Red, Tomato, Blueberry Cheesecake, Rockstar
Talk
from exit to exit CREATEUR ALLEY Alan Cheng Chai Jun Yi JonK Nash Zee Breakfast! Snee Navjote We Spank Shirin Christine Shumin Jean Trixia Victor Kenny Liyana Jo Jun Sheng Ajit Shib Yam Alps Mike Aparna Sarah Stef Jasmine Shimin Reuben Ziing Yesterdays January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 October 2009
Sunday, February 27, 2005
one true thing i feel forty kinds of sadness when you're gone i feel the same thing always happens when you're gone i know you're just around the corner but just around the corner is not enough hey you know what i just realized our lives are filled with unexpected stuff. surprises, shocks, what have you. and some stuff, even though u planned it, things can still go wrong, or turn out even better. then we ask, who are we to thank? or to blame? you know i really dont know. my life is so comfy now i really enjoy it all with rj and stuff. but what if it all changes with that slip of paper. i am seriously touching wood mentally but sigh arent we all nervous?!?! there's nothing we can do abt it but if i didnt get all this pent up anxiety out i wld freak out i tell you! seriously! mr rollason said that its scary how a slip of paper- subjective to human/computer error could change your life forever. well let's hope this confirms my life and not change it! i would hate to live on knowing i could have done better. i know im obsessing- but really- im just so freaked out! i tried talking to some pple. they say the same thing. nobody is helping really. cuz after all only i know how i did. as in the gut feeling and all. i just hope i underestimated myself. please! so yeah i really wanted to make this weekend meaningful. but in the end i ended up thinking too much. couldnt do any work. watched one true thing again. i love it as much as before. i almost cried, i think. well yeah its, erm, moving :] and when you think about it- what is the one true thing in life anyway? so right now im so tired i think i shld go sleep soon. 2pm. 28 February 2005. my life. my future. haha. doesnt seem too big of a deal now does it? just saw new entries on the class blog- newly incepted! yayy! touching messages- i dont think anyone wants to leave. i mean- of course not! sigh. why the first three months anyway? whatever it is, im thankful so far. i hope fate will be kind to me. and to those friends of mine. let it be. and one of these days i wont be afraid of leaving with you... may the next entry be a happy one :]
7:24 AM
Saturday, February 26, 2005
saturday drama fest is over. i woke up today feeling empty. didnt go to smun again so i cannot chair anymore. but its really my fault anyway. i'll be glad if they allow me to just sit and observe. really dont want to give it up. so, drama fest is over. we had so much fun over the past few weeks. rehearsing, laughing, going to liyana's house, eating together, taking publicity shots and just going up and down- together. it was a rollercoaster. i wasnt feeling well half of the time so i must apologize for the rather passive side of me taking over. i wish i had more fun. i wish i went more wacky. now i cant cuz its over. but there will always be the memories. the same ole pple around me. it was a hectic few weeks, stressful and tiring to some extent but heck i must say thank you- for all the fun and things that ive learnt. each person- liyana, zul, whoopi, pandora, clifton, yam- brought so much light and happiness to the cast it was amazing! and of course how cld we ever forget the wonderful kelly and hadri- whom through the course of this time have earned my immense respect for all that they did so sacrificially. thank you! and wait- the makeup team (thanks denise for sending me home!) and the tech pple navjote and nash, ushers like sinni and magdalene, publicity peeps like jo!....and yes good ole michael the stage manager who (isnt old) but i mean yeah he was great fun thanks for repeatedly fixing my number cube hahaha! and to think all these started in lt6, with aparna and hadri making us do silly stuff. then our first script idea of the maid and then the first official script reading on the sky bridge with CO making a din...our first blocking in SR6 and movement exercises in lt6 and gosh all im saying is- how time flies, esp when u have so much fun. i hated falling sick it was really on the top of my mind all the time it distracted me. sigh. well i forgot to thank one more person! bernasty! she was there for us wasnt she? somehow i felt safer with her around, in the sense that she was psyching us up and all. thanks for the panadol and all that funky inspiration! well. so many pple to thank. like the amazing audience. and like my parents for example. but yesterday didnt go too well did it? it wasnt until this morning that i realized i did the exact same thing years ago. with the note and the door and the word sorry. today is saturday. i had so much fun. soon it'll be monday. let's hope i do well now :] for the record: RJC drama fest 2005 judges: alfian sa'at, emma yong, julie hamzah best play- engine's 2C1 best director- engine's tanuj bhojwani and chen huiling best script- arts' saturday by azizul kamal shah best actor- arts' muhd. nur hadri as calamariah bte sotong best actress- med 2's chia xinling congrats to all these pple!!! esp those from arts fac haha! did i make any mistake? hmm...if only we won though. next year wld be house system. here's a tribute to these pple then. for making drama fest so memorable. p.s. not forgetting mrs perry, mr-petulant-booth, mrs elise butler, the silly mcs and the vegetable cult! whee! i know i wont cry cuz there is somebody somebody somebody waiting for me out in the rain wont cry not tonight cuz there is somebody waiting for me how many words will go unspoken till i hear you knocking upon my door imlosing track of the nights ive spent heartbroken but tonight i know i wont cry no more
2:30 AM
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
wouldn't it be nice? one week eek! its 11.27pm and im actually surprised that im at home typing this. as of now i am super tired, my throat still hurts randomly and my lungs have lots of phelgm to offer. but somehow, im loving the random lifestyle. drama feste just pulls you out of your habitual schedule. lots of sacrifices in some sense but im really enjoying being in the midst of the process. in two, three days this would be over. our lives may change forever with the results, probably on monday? i really want this moments to last. the last moments. shall sleep now. this is the cheeky me itching to type something so that pple know im still alive. cuz they hardly see me nowadays do they? i see less of my ole friends now. but well...it happens. somehow i feel numb. i only wish i cld really enjoy this without my throat hurting. so much homework to do, is there? yeah i can feel it coming. goodnight. p.s. feel real sad that i cant do anything but drama feste. im missing out on a lot with my ccas but heck i guess df is worth it. i hope i get a good archery retrial slot and make it. i hope my SMUN thingee wont be too tragic, if you know what i mean. yayy. sometimes the not so close pple talk to you like they are so close and it feels good. well, i remember-that that is no more now- and i can only look at the msn nick... p.s. shameless advertising. come and support RJC arts fac's drama feste play- Saturday! tickets for friday sold out thursday going fast and random. lalala. it'll be good fun!
7:26 AM
Monday, February 14, 2005
my painful valentine for valentine's, i give you an onion- my painful valentine. sweet sweet and clandestine yours to cherish, mine to find, for you i'll perish in time to bind our everlasting love, my sweet painful valentine. ~ oh roses are red, but are violets blue? undress in our bed- stay forever true. oh drown in my passion, rich as a mansion- and never doubt my love, for you. ~ please let me get well soon.
7:20 AM
Sunday, February 13, 2005
ouch *hack hack* happy chinese new year! this is the time for real family celebration. and in true family fashion we gambled and ate and made noise and partied all night long. i really do honestly truly totally adore the chinese new year holiday. we get to really see the family more often and do stuff together. pity there was no movie this year. anyhow, we gambled this year again and at the kids table i lost lotsa money by the third day with russian poker. damn. wanted to win it back today but fell sick. have been sick since friday anw. sore throat. and its DAMN PAIN. argh cant take it anymore everytime i swallow i feel the dry walls of my larynx rubbing against each other with much friction and OUCH i tell u my throat is one bitch damn. sigh. howsomever had real fun hopefully i get better soon. hmwk awaits me but really im too sick to continue and i dont have mc what shld i do? sleep it away i guess. and with it i will recall the memories of this chinese new year. not only with my family, but at shumin's house, back at nhps with the nh pple- kewl guys rawk on cuz all of u are still so friendly im glad we still get along fine. whee! see ya then. please pray i get well soon. drama feste rehearsal's gonna get intensive so...sigh. happy valentine's!
6:41 AM
Monday, February 07, 2005
i'm okay whee class debates today was GOOD FUN. "this house will not own a television" PRO: glen, shumin, hanyi OPP: navjote, terence, shirin, huana [joy, zhifeng, angie (timekeeper), yingsze (chair)] "this house prefers fasting to fast food" PRO: yeeler, chengchai, jean, me OPP: ramu, trixia, daryl, elly [sinni (chair), christine (timekeeper)] between this line and the line above was a two hour lapse. finally painted that last pot for the chinese new year and though its in black and white i hope the calligraphic design stands strong enough for pple to ignore the rather inauspicious choice of colour! but heck my whole house is red enough for a wedding! so another tiring day. when will my late nights come to an end? cant wait to meet the teachers tomorrow tarra!
8:29 AM
Sunday, February 06, 2005
back when we were grown ups i believe in a thing called love... aahhh i so wanna be in jazz but there aint the slightest chance im getting in anyhow. gee heck. listening to all these rock songs really makes me wanna rawk...when will i ever get the chance... wo yao yong yuan fei... so today i woke up and spent my entire day doing the mobile phone essay. its a drag really. but finally finished it after lotsa hard work so im satisfied. HBO is finally in my house! so i can watch all the great movies really cant wait hee. anyhow decided to watch back when we were grown ups today. gosh its a really good film i think one of the best after life is beautiful and big fish. its really subtle and yet i cld feel so much coming out from it. i cld sense the quiet desperation from blythe danner, and how much more she wanted out of life i could empathize with her fully. sigh...willl my life be like this? when i grow up and all? will i look back and realize its all a waste? when i get married will i think its the wrong choice? and really its quite depressing thoughts but placed realistically into that show. loved it so much i cldve cried. i cldve. once again i find i dont have enough emotion to cry. its getting harder to cry as i grow up. though, i cry often- on the inside. well. DF IS coming along after all! we actually finished blocking half the script in one day and i must say its a really funny play. just that thinking of it as a sequel to friday doesnt appeal much to me- maybe cuz i didnt see friday and it being a hulletian production and all but HECK this is not RI anymore so i must be open. yeah. actually im more honoured i get this chance. so thanks, to whom it may concern. silas marner is actually getting interesting. i must be the only one who pretended to finish it and actually struggling behind close doors- trying to fathom those strange string of words. years from now i shall look back and laugh. or cry. or feel. now another year is passing. the rooster year. chinese new year. all these hallmarks of festivity mark seasons of the year, and each year passes more quickly than the previous, sometimes i wonder what madness ive gotten myself into. am looking forward to life after this. more excitement. im in too deep now- i just hope i get to stay in! please dont do anything nasty to me i really will just die! someone said she didnt mind leaving RJ but i wld just wilt away and wither what have you! i CANNOT! i TRIED! i REALLY WANT THIS! so if you're listening- whoever, the powers that be- be with me. gdnite. may lotsa happy stuff come our way, since we die anyway, let's live life to its fullest. "there is no true life. true life is where life takes you and that is all you have..."
7:32 AM
Friday, February 04, 2005
rayian & constantine since u been gone i can breathe for the first time im so moving on...yeah yeah thanks to you now i get you should know that i get i get what i want since u been gone...since u been gone since u been gone oooh yeah! eh how cool wld that be if i cld sing it to someone. like really in his/her face complete with the band in the back rocking it...me going husky and shouting. oh yeah. im tired of those nice songs i mean heck who am i kidding i still envy them but hey its really not easy to be a good charlotte or green day or queen or u2 etc. hee. i wanna have my own band! i wanna sing and play the electrik guitar and just jam the whole night thru...aaaahhh! then my rock name wld be constantine! the constant and tine sound dandy but heck did u watch american idol that guy was so kewl he had style...from a rock band too so yeah that adds rock star edginess oh yeah i wanna be i wanna be! besides, the keanu movie coming up seems super spook spank!!! like i dont mind being spooked as long as there is some form of engaging storyline, which i really see there. constantine... anyhow. speaking of names have u ever wondered if keanu reeves and jamie reeves are relatives. HA. if so i wld become keanu's no.1 fan woo hoo haha. and junyi admitted that his english name is RAYIAN. yes RAYIAN goh. surprising right. thanks to the ever resourceful yours truly i uncovered another deep dark secret. haha. anyhow its just weird lah that name. so i told him to call me constantine let's see how he gets about with three syllables. mwhaha. in conjunction with chinese new year you can call me yang yang too. silly christine says yucks to everything. ha. but she has a nice name so i cant do anything to her. im talking nonsense really. my blog is degrading ever since i shifted. or am i just lazy? heck. essay. pot. readings. df. tshirt. tv. just some stuff to do so a really busy weekend i better not let myself down again. today was spent moping around with a tired body but a heart that pumps forever more. doing deco while playing shoot.shag.marry with timothyam & stefanie aka sinni (whose sister doesnt look like her...gee) was surprisingly therapeutic to some extent. i needed to dissipate boredom and it was- fun. so i guess if that kinda thing is fun then my life is going nowhere really, but backwards. still...just so tired im not sleeping enough. american idol was funny wasnt it. so here's some food for thought: shoot.shag.marry- the rafflesian spirit, edkwok, rosiesmith? dont puke.
7:22 AM
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
worryw art hey theree every night im growing more tired. my eyes droop before me and the computer screen which is so harmful by the way and i can feel it penetrating my skin and my cells and what have you. anyhow really been sleeping late unnecessarily...chatting online sigh really messed up. still enjoying jc life cuz its getting more xciting. but yet im disappointed. no1) pple arent as enthu abt fac as i thought they wld be. frm where i came frm house rivalry was rather intense so that gave us the spirit to strive .... now here im sapped of my energy and willingness to contribute cuz nobody seems to have a real sense of urgency real damn sickening. and i dont wanna initiate cuz shldnt it be the pple with authority who shld do smthing??!?! so yeah feeling quite extra when voicing out but yet knowing im right to a large extent. sheesh. no2) some haunting elements have returned to haunt me. that 'dont drag ur feet'...'knock it down ten' kinda shit returning in of all places fencing and shit them lah why cant we have decent training w/o some sadistic ex-student coming in? one wld think with their experience and attachment to the school they wld be nice but these pple are just super sadistic and uber rude they just ARE so cocky. i mean i dont care if u're some top fencer whats the use if beneath that suit u're this trashy bitch? so anyhow i dont know why im sulking abt all these stuff but they just rub me off the wrong way. really- dont even get me started... speaking of which some pple like jonK received the e.a.g.l.e.s award today haha and when i saw it was at the atrium it seemed like such a joke after all. sigh. but they deserve it i guess... so now i wanna be smthing like that u know. take on such challenges and hopefully do enough to fulfil the dreams of myself and others. so yeah stuff's fun but pls lah we are young adults as they say why the stupid moronic treatment. the best thing today was probably art club. really allowed me to be myself, just sitting there drawing and feeling no pressure from anywhere. ok med fac 1's goliath rooster is just fantastic, like a big art attack but i wish we can outdo them. and then i saw david mathew today he said he was in engine drama feste. sigh. issit only arts fac that seems so slack? it is real depressing sometimes lets hope it really picks up. drama feste rehearsal cancelled yesterday although i was relieved i cld get some rest i was quite worried abt where we're going. gee...why am i worrying so much. anyhow. speaking of fencing there's an article of it in mind.your.body today. i think the instructor there is the same henry as the rj one. he he. his bday was today? yeah. jason ng's bday too. bdays are cool. we found out sinni, christine and yingsze all share the same bday in our class. spooky right? or rather...interesting... its all good fun, really. looking forward to a more exciting chinese new year. maybe its becuz last year there was the talentime and all and we really wanted to win... feels weird now...so....weird. ok tired shall sleep and condemn myself to helping out with the deco tmr. oh yeah, then there's that ghastly commonwealth essay to do. mobile phones! i shall just rip off from somewhere. but i dont feel up to it today...i'll get down to it tomorrow. for now...opium ink and may the quilt rid me! okay that sounded wrong?!!?
7:28 AM
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